While it's not that big of an age gap.. only 4 years.. I think our exact ages are the problem. I'm 24 years old, and this guy I'm talking to is 20. He's also a virgin. He really wants something serious, but I'm hesitant.. I'm too old for him, no? We get along great and everything, but I can't help but feel guilty that I've already experienced so many things he hasn't. He should be with a girl his age, right?! I just don't want to feel guilty or like I'm taking advantage of him. Opinions on this are greatly appreciated.
2007-11-24 15:13:11 · 50 answers · asked by jj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think four years at your age is anything at all. For the record, my grandmother was three years older than my grandfather and they dated while he was in high school and she was in nursing college, then they married, had three boys, and were together until their deaths.
Go for it!!
2007-11-24 15:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by Hallie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's a big deal. I mean it's not like you're talking about a 10+ age gap. It's all cool...I mean sure I'm just a 15 year old guy, but I'm dating a 17 year old girl. Whats the big deal? Besides... what most of these other people said are correct. No shame in doing this. My friend Alex is 18 and is dating a girl 5 years older than him. No one see's a problem in that. SERIOUSLY!
2007-11-25 22:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by CcFlIpZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who are you trying to convince here? You sound like you have so many doubts on it that it seems like you'd spend more time worrying than enjoying the time you two spend together.
I am in a relationship with a guy 2 1/2 years older than me, and have been in one with a guy 10 years older than me. One is rather extreme, but the other one still manages to work out. If you really like him, then you can see this as an opportunity to help him experience a lot of new things that he hasn't yet. He'd appreciate it, I'm sure. And for you, doing things a second time around isn't always so bad :)
Ultimately, think about what outweighs what. Are you going to be constantly thinking about how much older you are, or are you going to forget about it and live it up with him instead?
2007-11-24 15:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by lemonyskillet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you have a connection, and more than a sexual attraction, why not date this guy?? If you have so much in common, sounds like a great start to a relationship. Is it the virginity issue that's stopping you from going with this guy? He could be looking for a woman with experience to help him become sexually proficient - lucky he chose you !! Just make the sure you both want the same thing , and it won't be anyone taking advantage of anyone. Make sure it is a memorable first time for him, but also expect it to be a rather quick dalliance, because he will be eager and may not be able to control himself. Otherwise, if you're comfortable with the idea, GO FOR IT GIRL !! Just be gentle......
2007-11-24 15:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you are not too old for this guy. Don't forget, females mature faster than males, so the age difference shouldn't make that much difference. If you two have things in common, like spending time together, etc. that's all that matters. If the age difference doesn't bother you two, then don't worry about it. If he wanted to be with a girl his age, he would be, right? What have you got to feel guilty about? If you aren't comfy in this relationship, then it won't work out. For Pete's sake, don't listen to what others say, if they try to talk you out of staying with this man. Do what you feel in your heart is right for you. If you have hangups about his age, then move on. It sounds as though you have some hangups as far as age goes.
2007-11-24 15:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I thnk you should talk to him about some life experiences and see the level of maturity he responds with. If you like what you're hearing you could continue with the questions. If not, then you may want to see about where he is in his mind you know?
I don't think the ages are such a big deal. 20 and 24 is the same as 21 and 25, which sounds better in my opinion.
Overall, I'd just give it some time and see what will develop.
2007-11-24 15:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by a_collins53 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the younger you are, age does seem a difference.. but if you are 50 and he's 46 it wouldnt matter would it..
Yes id say he hasnt had time to experience life yet.. also they say people dont reach full mental maturity till actually around 25 or so... This young man has some more growing to do and hasnt had enough years under his belt to make some pretty life changing decisions yet.. But still, if he's ok with it, so be it..Women tend to live longer than men anyways, so if you do work out and have a life together, you will equal it out in the end... goodluck!
2007-11-24 15:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mintee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that if you do not feel comfortable with the whole age thing, then do not date him. There's nothing wrong on dating a guy who is 4 years younger. My girlfriend once dated a guy who was a year younger than she was. She was older than him and not a virgin. She had so much a connection with him. Give it a chance if your heart allows you to.
2007-11-24 15:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mike L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am living with a guy who is five years younger than me. At first there was not much that I found that we differed in but as time has went on, (almost 2 yrs!) and we have encountered daily life problems I do realize that I have experienced a lot more than him in many different ways. Sometimes I have to remember that he is 27 and excuse his behavior or lack of responsibility on some issues.
2007-11-24 15:19:28 · answer #9 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you are ok in age.
Most people think of older girl dating younger guy as if there were a 15/ 20 yr age difference.
In my book, being only 4 yrs apart is just fine. There is a 14 yr difference between me and my husband.
2007-11-24 15:17:30 · answer #10 · answered by simpleminded 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I wouldn't let the age difference or your actual ages bother you. It will be less and less of a factor as you go along. My wife is older than me and we've been happily married for 35 years. My mom was older than my dad and they were happily married for the rest of their lives.
I would say it's all about building a relationship, understanding, respecting and being honest with each other. My advice is don't let any guilt feelings bother you. If you have something good I'd say make it work.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-11-24 15:30:35 · answer #11 · answered by DB32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋