Ive been dating a musician who lives in my apt bldg for about 3 months. The other night we had a conversation on agreeing to be monagamous. The next night when I got home I walked past his apt and heard a girl's voice and loud music, at one point I thought I heard 2 different females and also heard music coming from his studio - really loud. I called him twice and even knocked on his door 3 times, but he didn't answer either. I ignored his msgs the day after and decided to respond to him the 2nd day. I didn't want to blame him for something that didn't happen, so I just asked him what he did that night. He said 2 females - his manager and another artist were over recording new stuff and working. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? My gut tells me to trust him based on all his actions prior to this which make me believe he really likes me. But, I don't want to be played.
2007-11-24 14:40:48 · 24 answers · asked by Grl6251 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should trust him. First of all, he lives in your building? Even if he was thinking about cheating, do you honestly think he would take the chance of bringing someone over knowing you walk by his door? It seems legitimate. He came forward with an explanation, including the girls, without you asking anything other then what all he did. He coulda lied about that, and he didnt. Starting a relationship is about taking risks, building trust, in yourself and with who you're with.
2007-11-24 15:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, since you have only known him for 3 months, please stay cool, protect your body and heart, do not get too serious at first. Let the relationship flow evenly. Men tend to change somewhat if the relationship is lopsided--You have got to have trust too. Seems like he should have told you he was having guess over. Try not to be too suspicious. Again, be cool, don't let him know how much you care until you know for sure whats up with him. If he really really likes you he should at least mention the next time he has guess over and there should not be any reason why he wouldn't want you to know or invite you over. You may not except all the time, but if he acts like he don't want you there, then watch out.
But, do not jump to any conclusions, just be smart and be wise. How old are you? and what month were you and your musician friend born? I have studied personalities for years, and then I applied a little astrology. There is a scale 1 to 5--there are certain signs or personalities that you will get along better than others. I will share this with you if you give me your birthday and your friends. I just started working with teenagers at Church. I plan on taking a psychology course soon as I love people and I like checking out what makes them act a certain way.The time you were more and your environment plays a big part.
2007-11-24 23:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the music was really loud, maybe he honestly didnt hear you knocking? He may have also turned off the phone to do the recording. Musicians are a little odd.
I say give him the benefit of the doubt, but keep your eyes and ears open. He was honest with you about who was over there. If he was cheating, why would he even tell you that much?
2007-11-24 22:48:04 · answer #3 · answered by allforone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His explanations sound reasonable, but you're not replying to his msgs the day after was not. The voices could have been his mother or sister...for crying out loud and you were game playing by not giving him a change to explain. Anyone dating someone in the music business is going to have to develop a more trusting attitude because women/fans will always be a part of his life. Base your trust on his actions, not on your insecurities.
2007-11-24 22:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the benefit of the doubt. He hasn't given you any reason to distrust him as of yet, and he has a legitimate excuse. The music was very loud, and he probably didn't hear you. And if they were recording and he did hear you, he couldn't just stop the recording to answer you. Believe me, very little is more unappealing than an overly jealous partner. Keep an eye out for any suspicious activity just in case, though.
2007-11-24 22:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by Alejandro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel it out. And trust your instincts...not everyone is an a**hole. Obviously you like him. If you suspect something though, hang back and observe, don't assume, you'll figure it out on your own. In situations like this, it's not best to ask everyone else because that's something only you can decide, only you know what's going to best for you. And you're prrrrrroobably going to go against what everyone else says anyways...so why bother. :) I've done that alot.
2007-11-24 22:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by Jeni Who? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, if he didnt find out that u were there, and he already told u two famales. so i dont think so.
and ur gut is usually right :)
were u recently in a situation like this? cuz this could have an effect.
just let this thng roll. and if you have another gutt feeling then thats when u can set the trap.
2007-11-24 22:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by -jfhskjfhsdkjfhds- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should believe him this time, if hes not known for doing this in the past. let him know how you feel, maybe you can be at his place more often. you were right in not getting mad for something that you dont know if its true or not, but dont let this happen again. good luck.
edit: i just thought about the part that u said there was people inside the apartment, and he didnt open? ask him about this part
2007-11-24 22:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Pretti iiN Piink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that would make sense, it sounds like a good reason to me.
Does he have a history of cheating?
If not, I'd go ahead and trust him. If you don't have trust in a relationship, you really don't have a relationship.
2007-11-24 22:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by Serena T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have a studio for that and he didnt have to shut you out in order to do it.He could have explained in just a few moments over the phone.
2007-11-24 22:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋