How long do you have to know someone to know that this is the person to spend the rest of your life with?

Question

This is a general question, not personal, so please don't give me pointers on recognizing that perfect someone.

So, if a good friend of yours came up to you and said "I'm madly in love and getting married tomorrow" what's the minimum time you think they should know each other so you'd be comfortable with this marriage?

One day? One month? One year?

(Obviously there's a lot of other things to consider... like why they're planning their wedding for tomorrow, but I'm mostly just interested in the length of time, generally, that you think a couple should know each other before making a serious, life-long commitment to each other.)

Are you serious? If your friend just met a person yesterday... if it was just the right situation, you'd be happy with them marrying tomorrow?

I agree it can vary, but come on! How do you know she's not a serial murderer? How do you know she didn't just remember to take her meds the day your friend met her? Do you really think that someone can judge the character of a lifelong mate in the space of a few hours?

Answer 1

I knew my husband about 24 hours when I pretty much knew it was going to be him. We got engaged 3 weeks after our first date, got married 4 months later and we have been married 9 years now and have a wonderful marriage.
I think sometimes you just KNOW and only someone that has been there can tell you what it feels like.
I also got the same feeling when I first met my step-dad, and pretty much decided then and there that he was the one for my mom. They have been married 15 years, and like my husband and I, they couldn't be happier.

Added: I also have to say that my husband is probably the best man I have ever known, and after living together, working together, pretty much spending 24/7 together for the last 9 years, there isn't much he can hide from me. I think sometimes you subconsciously know someone on a different level and FEEL them, is the only way I can describe it. I knew who he was before I really got to know him, if that makes any sense at all.

Answer 2

I used to think a year. would suffice, but then, i met my husband. I fell for him in a couple of days. Then as we got to know each other over three and a half months, I fell even deeper for him. By the time we were in front of the preist, I was in love with the man I was about to marry. We said our vows, did "it", and all that married lovebirds are supposed to do(but we shy away from PDA), and then I came home(he's in india, i'm here), so we're waiting to be reunited, but even as we speak over phone lines, the love is still there.

It was an arranged marriage. But a month after I met him, I knew I wanted to marry him. I didn't know y, but I knew that in my heart, he was it for me. I couldnt believe it only took me three and a half months do feel this way and be so sure of such a major thing, but I was. Don't get me wrong...second guessing is a part of distance and a short term relationship that lead to marriage, but I don't think it's serious doubts, it's just jitters.

FYI--in an arrangement setting, all this happens in a month usually, and many felt the same way when they married; and if they didn't, the love grew, and when that year mark hits, they're so in love, u wouldn't think they only knew each other for a month prior to marriage. You never know, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Answer 3

My husband and I were "just friends" for the first 6 weeks we were hanging out and getting to know each other better. Prior to that, we knew of each other thru mutual acquaintances, but had never really hung out at all. After 4 weeks, I knew, even tho we were not even dating officially yet, that I could marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. Now we didn't have a quick wedding, but within the first month of dating, we were already talking about getting married eventually.

So I think it depends on the people involved, but I think that for the right people, a month is plenty of time to know.

Answer 4

I agree with Shanna and Melon..not that it has ever happened to me...I still am hoping to meet that person whom I know instantly is "the one". But, I have had discussions with other people who say the same thing as Shanna and Mel....I hear you "just know" and that there isn't really a time frame you can put on it.

Answer 5

nicely...if i could no longer DIE i might of course be doing exciting existence threatening issues nonstop, overcoming my extreme concern of falling off a curler coaster, stuff like that. and that i might do stuff that I usually might do, because of the fact, like, so which you're immortal, you nevertheless have a similar volume of money, till you are the in call for "immortal individual" then you definately get to be in commercials :-D i might probably do this, be in commercials, and then use the money to circulate to DISNEY international! till i grow to be ninety by potential of the time i had adequate...then i might circulate to prunes-and-diapers international.

Answer 6

it could be a day or less --- it could be never ---- there is no time frame nor pointers --- you just know it and usually you are correct ---- have fun