My poppals funeral was today and im really sad, can someone tell me a joke or something to cheer me up? Thanks

Answer 1

I wish I had a good joke to cheer you up but I'm not really good with that. I just was hoping that if you saw someone cared about you for whoever you are that you would cheer up.

oh, here is a stupid joke. How do you get out of an elephants stomach? you run around until you're pooped out. sorry :( best I could think of on short notice.

All the best.

Answer 2

I'm sorry......... Here goes: A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here!" The mushroom asks, "Why not? I'm a fun guy! (fungi)

Jumper cables walk into a bar & ask if they are welcome. The bartender says, "Yes, Just don't START anything!"

A duck walks into a bar & asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says, "no" & the duck walks out. The next day, the duck walks into the bar & asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says, "NO!" The third day the duck walks into the bar & asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says, I don't have any grapes today. I didn't have any yesterday & I won't have any tomorrow. If you come in here again & ask that, I'll nail your feet to the bar!" THe next day, the duck walks in, & says, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck asks, Do you have any grapes?"

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I sorry to hear about your poppals funeral. Here's some for you:-

A man and a woman have just finished shagging when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the woman's love tunnel.

'Oh God!' she screams. 'Help me! There's a bee up my vagina and it's buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!'

'Let's go says her mate, I'll rush you straight to hospital!'

On arrival at the emergency room the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor.
'What seems to be the problem?' he asks.

'I've got a frigging bee up my vagina' screams the woman. 'Get it out!'

'I see,' says the doctor.'Well, there's only one way to extract this bee. I'm going to have to spread honey on my nob and entice it out.'

The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick.

'Just an inch or two should do it,' he says.
After a few seconds he slides it in a bit further. After another few seconds he says 'Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be biting. I'll have to go deeper' and slides it in all the way.

Suddenly he starts fondling her boobs with his hands, thrusting violently with his hips and moaning with what sounds like pleasure.

'HOLD IT!' says the boyfriend, 'What are you doing?'

'Change of plans!,' shouts the doctor...
'I've decided to drown the little bastard!'
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Her Majesty the Queen was being shown around a hospital.

As she wasbeing given the guided tour by a senior consultant, they passed a room where a man was masturbating wildly through the window. Of course the Queen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital.

"Ah," said the doctor, "Now, although it is perhaps unfortunate that you should have witnessed that, in fact, that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much semen that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode."

"Oh." said Her Majesty. "Well, in that case I suppose it's understandable."

Further down the corridor they passed another room. The door was open and you could see a nurse was clearly giving a patient oral sex.

"Goodness Gracious!" shrieked Her Majesty, "I demand an explanation of this kind of sordid goings- on!"

"Ah," said the Doctor, "same problem - better health plan."
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It's Colonel Smith's first day at a new base in Saudi Arabia, and the company clerk is showing him around the camp. They tour the entire base and the clerk shows him around and points out every building of interest. At the end of the tour, the Colonel says, "What about that little stable over there? What's that for?"

"Well," says the clerk, and looks at the ground in embarassment, "you may have noticed there aren't any women on the base. You see, we keep a camel in that there stable, so that when the men get their urges they can --"

The Colonel holds up his hand, shakes his head and cuts off the clerk midsentence. "PLEASE! Say no more. I get the point."

Well, as you can imagine, after a few weeks on the base the Colonel too felt the need for a woman, and so he found himself at the clerk's desk one Saturday afternoon. "Tell me," the Colonel said in a whisper, looking over his shoulder to be sure no one else could hear, "is the camel free this afternoon?"

The clerk checks his appointment book and nods in the affirmative. "How about I schedule you in for 2:00?"

The Colonel nods and walks away. At 2:00 he makes his way to the stable, walks in, and gently closes the door behind him. He finds a small stepping stool nearby, moves it behind the camel, and climbs onto it. Then he lowers his trousers, and begins, well, making love to the camel.

Just as he's nearing his peak, the door opens suddenly and the Colonel spins around in shock and embarrassment to see the clerk standing there with a big grin on his face. As the Colonel begins to yell for him to leave, the clerk interrupts him with a quizzical look on his face.

"Begging your pardon, sir, but wouldn't it have been simpler for you to just ride the camel into town to find a woman, like the other men do?"
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Click on my avatar/pic,,and go to my questions section,,,there are lots of jokes there,,,,sure to make u smile at least.....check out these utube site as well,,,,,

Answer 4

There once was a man named rudulph the red he said to his wife one day it is going to ran today she said no and then he said yes then she how do you know?And he said because rudulph the red knows rain deer. Get it because rudulph the red knows reindeer.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
p.s hope i kinda cheered you up I no i did cheer myself up i can't stop laughing.ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahoh and sorry for the bad and incorrect spelling