me and by bf had a really ugly breakup, he went to my country and came back with another girlfriend while still leaving with me. And i got really upset and to get my revange i slept to one of his best friends a few times. Then i got back together with my ex after we realized that we love eachother and now we are enged.
Me and his friend agreed that we should keep this to us and never let anyone knoe, and i trust him, he is a good guy but i still feel gulty. Shold i tell my bf??? If yes how can i tell him without hurting him!!
PS: if you are plannig to judge me dont bother answer
2007-11-24 12:13:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i agree with captain s - i wouldn't presume to judge you as i have made my own mistakes and bad choices along the highway of life! the point is to learn from them. and i agree with misdragontat that should you feel the need to confess, talk to your minister, not your man.
why would you want to punish your man even further by telling him what you and his supposed best friend did? telling him that will destroy his faith not only in you but in his friend. while i don't believe in lying i do not see any good coming of your giving him the gory details of your foolishness.
lets face it you only want to tell him in order to satisfy yourself and your feelings of guilt. i would suggest this is a deep dark secret that is better left that way.
hopefully you have learned from this entire mess and won't repeat the same scenario ever again. good luck and keep your lips zipped about it.
2007-11-24 13:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no need to judge you, my life has been full of enough goofs to sustain me without adding you to the mix. I do have a question for you though: The point of getting revenge is for the other person to know you've gotten them back, so since you've decided to keep this to yourselves, you basically slept with this guy for nothing, right? Either that, or you just wanted to do that anyway. So, what was the point again?
In the interest of honesty you can mention it if you think it's helpful...it's hardly necesssary because you were broken up at the time, so no ethical harm done, right? Whatever you decide to do, think the whole thing through thoroughly...more thoroughly than your ill-conceived revenge tactic, okay? Good luck to you.
2007-11-24 21:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty you need to tell him now.....because you would only feel guilty if you knew it would bother him. Besides the fact that this will affect your relationship for years to come it's unfair to marry him under false pretenses.
Either that or wait until one drunk night a few years down the road when one of you spill the beans. Then he'll get mad all over you will have a huge fight and probably loose his trust wondering what else you have hidden from him....Then time for the big D and I don't mean Dallas.
2007-11-24 20:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly... honesty is a very selfish emotion. Is it going to make your relationship better if your confess to your boyfriend that you were hurt during a time you were both not thinking clearly? No. all its going to do is upset your fiance, get him mad at you AND the friend, the friends gonna get mad at you for blowing his cover. And all because you want to feel better. I say if he has no way of finding out otherwise... keep your mouth shut and enjoy your life with your husband. Chalk up stupid immature mistakes as that, mistakes - meaning they wont happen again.
2007-11-24 20:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by loki_only1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, it's totally down to how your 'fiance' might react. But how you say it will probs make it easier. I'd just explain that you think you should tell him seeing as your engagded and you should have trust and honesty in a relationship, tell him that you were jelous, and it was a long time ago, and its him that you love. Hope this helps!
x
2007-11-24 20:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him. But it's not sounding like a great relationship anyway. Why would either of you hurt the other so much?
2007-11-24 20:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by Jules 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut--tell a priest, not your man. He WILL always hold it against you in every fight & it will be on his mind all the time. You'll destroy your marriage before it begins
2007-11-24 20:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by missdragontat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him, it will be difficult but he should understand since he did a similar thing. Good luck
2007-11-24 20:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by Bride08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not tell him. it will not help anything, only make things worse.
2007-11-25 10:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by nytengayle13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lies dont build strong relationships.
2007-11-24 20:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋