Okay I just found out my cousin was pregnant and we don't know what to do?

Question

She's 14 I know I know she's to young to be having kids but she just found out she was six weeks pregnant. Her boyfriend's mother took her to the doctor and told her she was six weeks she called me crying and asked me what to do. I'm just as confused as her. No one in our family knows but me and I don't want to tell my mama because she's going to tell her mother and she wants to tell her herself but doesn't know how. Her mother has a bad temper and we are scared that she might snap on us. Her boyfriend is on the phone crying his eyes out saying he's to young to be a daddy and that he had to step up and take care of his responsability but he's still scared for her since his mother knows already and I'm on the other end confused. Please help us out? Please someone? Tell us what to do?

Abortion id NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abortion is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for the good answers and she decided that she wasn't going to get an abortion on her own. It was not my decision. Her boyfriend said he would help her all the way no matter what she decides to do and I talked to his mother ans she agreed to come with us when my cousin is ready to tell her mother. Wow I feel like I got a big weight off my shoulder and she's still scared but I told her what some of you said and she's agreed to tell her mama as soon as possible once again thank you guys for the good advice.

Answer 1

I'd immediately approach her mother, asking for help. She's going to need all the support she can get, and having her mother on board may make the difference in the rest of her life, and the innocent life she carries.

1) Pray

3) Don't do anything (ie abortion), which may scar your cousin for life, without a full understanding of the consequences.

4) Get this out in the open ASAP.

5) Give her as much support as you can.

I'm not sure the boyfriend should make himself the center-piece, as in most states, this is considered statutory rape. Let things settle 1st.

God Bless

Answer 2

I really feel for you. I know it's a hard thing to do, but your cousin's gonna have to face the music. You are already doing a wonderful thing by taking some of the load yourself.

I would suggest getting some support outside of the family, too. Perhaps the guy's mother can play an active role in supporting her son and your cousin when the time comes to confess. At least then it may be a little easier if your aunt does go ballistic, as the extra support can make all the difference if things go wrong.

Basically try to get as many adults 'in your corner' as possible. Not only does this create support, but it is also a show of responsibility, as it shows you are able to make these hard decisions and reach out to maximise your chances of working through problems.

((((hugs))))

14 isn't too young to MAKE a baby, therefore it's not too young to take responsibility, though it is MUCH harder. I wish your cousin luck, and hope only the best for both her and the child. As for you: Peace be with you, and make sure you never leave the young family stranded. You may be young yourself, but your support is still crucial.

((((hugs))))

Answer 3

This is a very difficult situation...You say abortin is not an option, is that your choice or hers?Abortion is an option but there are instances where this isn't possible (beliefs, family interference etc). You need to sit down with your 14 year old cousin and ask her what SHE wants. At the end of the day it is her body and her choice. Everyone can whinge, carry on, yell rant and rave till the cows come home but all that will happen is she will resent everyone or worse run away. A support network needs to be a priority and support of her choice. Outline all the implications of having a baby at such a young age, take her to family planning clinics so she can talk to trained professionals and get the much needed advice on either option (keep or abort). It is a free service in most places.
Good luck and I hope all goes well.

Answer 4

Honestly, if neither of them were ready to become parents they should not have been having sex or at least have protected sex! 14 is way too young, though, and maybe she deserves to have her mother get really mad at her. What does the boyfriends' mother say? I'm sure she's not too happy about it, either. As much as I hate to say it, she should have an abortion. I just think it's too much of an easy out for both of them. But carrying the child to term will affect her education. I'm only assuming that's important to her. However, most school districts do have a teen parent program so she can continue her education. Then she can give the child up for adoption, because trying to raise a child at 14/15 years old puts an unfair burden on the family of the child parent. Sure, it's going to be hard for her to give up the baby, but it's going to be harder for her to keep it. And maybe they'll both think next time before having unprotected sex.

Answer 5

Take your mother with you when your cousin tells her mom. That will keep things civil. Your mom won't let anything happen to your cousin.

Your cousin is still in the time zone where she can take the abortion pill and abort the fetus with very little trouble. A 14yo should not be pregnant, in my mind, so maybe this is the answer.

Or she can carry the baby to term, which will be difficult for her and for her family, and for the people around her. There is substantial question whether she or her bf are fit parents for this child. I would recommend adoption.

All parties have to know what the problem is before any discussion and decisions can be made. Take your mom, your cousin and yourself over to your aunt's house and tell auntie about the problem. If her mother seems angry when you're leaving, take cousin with you.

Answer 6

Like you stated,14 is far to young to have a baby. You need to tell her mom. There is no way she can be a good mom and have a sucessful life. While I am not pro abortion, I would reccomend an abortion while she is at an early stage to avoid pain for the baby. If the circumstances had been different she had been 17-18 and still in school, she should have the baby seeing as she is nearly an adult

Answer 7

You must tell your mother & father because you are going to need proper care. You may expect your parents to "go mad" and for a few minutes they might but then they will realise the seriousness of the situation and know that your health & that of the baby must come first. It is interesting the boy says he is too young to be a Daddy and yet he didn't think he was too young to have sex. However, now's the time to grow up, take responsibility.

Answer 8

The first thing for her to do is to tell her mom. She's likely to be pretty upset at first, but waiting won't make it any better, and your cousin might be surprised at her mom's support once she gets over the initial shock.

Yes, 14 is much too young to be a parent. I'm not going to get into the abortion issues, that's way too personal depending on the person's beliefs, but there are lots of stable couples looking for babies to adopt, so that might be their best option, and also best for the baby.

Good luck to everyone involved, especially the parents-to-be but also their parents - they are all going to need it.

Tell your cousin she needs to talk to her mom, and if she doesn't for maybe a week or so, you need to tell your mom. Tell your cousin you are going to, since she should have the chance to talk to her mom first. I'm sure she's scared - but this isn't going to go away, so she needs to deal with it.

Answer 9

Stop..take a deep breath.. You are right she is too young to be having children but it's going to happen. Everyone needs to be told.. His Mom should call her Mom since they are afraid of her.. preferably while she is somewhere safe.. Maybe with his mom..Now someone needs to talk with her about options..I personally find abortion "very objectionable" but it will come up in the discussion. If they don't want to raise this child themselves, and that would be very understandable. Perhaps one of the parents would like to step up to the plate.. I considered that as an option when one of my children had a child out of wedlock. If that is not an option then adoption would be my next suggestion. But, whatever the decision take time now to take a deep breath.. Such weighty decisions should not be made on the spur of the moment.
HTH
Keith

Answer 10

What an unfortunate situation. She needs to sit down and talk with her parents. She is under-age and needs them to help her through this - whatever the answer is. I certainly have concerns that her boyfriends Mother would take her to the doctor without her parents consent. Her parents will be upset, but even moreso if she doesn't open communication - a first step to maturity. She is probably scared, and rightfully so. You are a good cousin to support her during this time ... Good luck