advice please???

Question

Ok, well this is a big one..ready? I have the option to move but no way to move my things, i have 2 kids and i am living with my parents...they have threatened to have me arrested for indangering my children if i move in with my boyfriend even though there is no danger...i will have a wram home for them and am completely able to care for them in all ways...my family is just a bunch of negative asses..i am the "black sheep" and iam a good mom my children are happy and healty....now my family still holds my past against me and they are using my past as tgeir fight fuel now. when i was a teen i stole and lied and ran-away from home partied and did drugs but all that was over 5years ago...im 21 now and my children are 3 and 1 1/2...im a better person and very responsible...but no matter how hard i try nothing i do is good enough or ever right...i am always being told that im never gonna get ahead in life cause i screwed myself when i got pregnant at 17. any words of encouragement??

look my whole life my family has cut me down and been mean, hateful, and negative to me and about the chioces i make..even if they are good chioces....my boyfriend is a great guy he wants to help me but we have no truck and his car broke down over the holidays. my van alsobroke down on me due to the facti bought it used and "as is"....i was screwed with a bad van....now i have no way to get to work ..i work 18 miles away from home and my parents have 1 car and not time to drive me to where i need to be...not that they care anyway...they nag and yell at me for everything...like for example...if i put my youngest child in his highchiar with something to eat long enough to go potty...i get yelled at for not watching them. and i just took my youngest off his bottle...well he won't take a nap now because of it so i let him just play but come 5 or 6 pm when he really starts to get crancky and tired...they couldn't take the crying so the bought him another damn bottle and gave it back to him

Answer 1

Well I would just say that the past is the past people change
for the better and it seems like you have. Don't think of your
children as mistakes but more of a stepping stone in life.
Obviously having a child at that young age made you more
responsible right? You understand right and wrong now.
So hey prove them wrong do what's best for you and your
children. Get yourself together and don't let anyone hold you
back PROVE to those who put you down show them that
you can come out on top. And I wish you the best of luck .

Answer 2

Obviously your life will be harder, having 2 kids by your age, and no husband to split up the responsibility with. It doesn't mean your life is over or hopeless, just that it's harder.

What you did as a teen wasn't good, and you know that, but there's no changing it, and if you've cleaned up your act it shouldn't affect you now.

To report you to child services they'd have to have some specifics on how your kids were being endangered - just because you'd be living with your boyfriend doesn't mean they'd be endangered unless he's a drunk or adruggie or thief or abusive or something. Does he have a job, and a reasonably normal life? If not, you should think not twice but a couple hundred times before you move in with him both for your sake and the sake of your kids.

Good luck. And believe it or not, your parents, whether they're right or wrong, might be just trying to look out for you and keep you from making any more mistakes that would make your life harder than it is already.

Answer 3

If you are not paying rent at home and your parents help you with the kids, I suggest staying and going back to school to get your degree or a certificate in a trade or something so you can be self sufficient without a guy. Then you can live on your own and make your own decisions. But I also think that you should follow your intuition and maybe this guy isn't the best choice for you and your kids. Now that your a single parent, you can't just go out with whoever you choose, you have to think about your children and put them first. I know because I am a single mom and yes it is hard and sometimes lonely but it will all work out in the end. Kids get older. The main thing is to go back to school. Good luck!

Answer 4

I would not worry too bad about your family bringing your past into the fight for your kids.First off,if they file a complaint,you would be checked out by cps.This would require an interview and a home study of where you are living,as well as the place where the kids could possibly be taken to.If you have been doing well for 5 years,the courts wont even consider it.Do what you know is best for your kids,and tell your parnts to back off,it is your turn to learn and no one is a perfect parent.Then,I would contact cps myself and tell them what is going on and request to go ahead and have the home study.Then they can go ahead and tell you where you are failing and what to do to correct your mistakes.Beat them at their own game.The police won't arrest you for mistreating your kids unless there is evidence to back it up.

Answer 5

wow you have got a lot against you. first how do you know that your boyfriend is trustworthy and a good person. how do you know that he is not going to hurt your children. how do you kow that he does not have any criminal records. do you know anything about hir backround like family, friends, relatives. if you know everything about him 100% and everything is good and you don't have anything to worry about then try to make your parents understand. how about if you take care of your kids for know and later when you have some amount of money in the bank and youn know taht if one day your kids are sick you can have the money to take them to the doctor or by them the medisen they need. after you kow that you shokd move out and get an apartment alone and love with your kids. try to count you kids first. i think you should not think how your parents are making you life miserable. think how you parents are in such a tight situation. think that your parents wanted you to graduate high school and go to a great unversity and have the best time of your life without having any real resposibilites eccept school. they wante that life for you. right know it is hard for them becasuse you have two kids and they did not even except to be grandparents this soon. think that they also wanted there little girl to have a great time. you might think that they want the worst for you but they are the once that are hurting and you. not you boyfriend or your friends you parents are the once that are worried about hoe your life is going to turn out, and of course you. before you say that they hate you you should think twise before saying it. they want whats best for you. they want whats best for there grandchildren.

Answer 6

Well my friend, it's time to get the heck out of there as soon as possible. Leave your stuff there if you have to. Cut all ties with your family and don't look back.

I was 19 years old when I had my first child and went through family troubles too. However, it's been 16 years and we are very happy about the choice to leave everyone behind. My kids are happy and healthy.

Get a police report so your family can't harass you or your children.

Answer 7

If your boyfriend is such a stand-up guy, marry him. Then let him adopt your kids. After that, you will have no legal questions at all. The kids have a 2-parent home (hopefully far away from g-ma & g-pa) where they are loved and taken care of. If you want to take away the power of your parents, marrying is a good way to do it.

If you'd rather not, then you need to move someplace away from your family out-of-state and don't tell them where.

TX Mom

Answer 8

Sorry I cannot please you... but I can tell you that you haven't proved that you are a responsible person... If you want to give your kids a home start one... marry this guy... and then move with him... show your kids the way things are suppose to be.
How long have you known this guy... where you meet him... is he responsible, can he support you and your kids? Are you sure he's not some kind of psycho that could hurt your kids?
Does he drink.. smoke... do drugs? There's a lot of things you have to see... you cannot just take the kids to see if it will work... you gotta be sure of what you're doing. You screw your life already... don't screw your kid's.
How can you say you are responsible when you live with your parents... that doen't sound too responsible to me... grow up...

Answer 9

To be truthful you may consider a lawyer if they are really serious about the arrest thing. Though I would fail to see why a cop could arrest you if there is truly no harm that could be caused. And there is always the option of suing them for harassment if they try to take it too far. Your past is just that and that is where it should remain. Tilt up that chin and stiffen up that upper lip.

Answer 10

You need more YOU time to recover from your past and to even catch up with your present.

What I mean is you made a lot of mistakes, and before you had time to think about them, you had kids taking up a lot of your time and energy.

They need you, and when they are asleep, you need time to yourself to make a life for yourself - before you loose yourself again in someone else's life.

Take some college courses, get a good job and then look around for a man.

Listen to your family - they can see things you cannot see because you are up to your eyeballs with everything!