I'm pregnant, should i tell him?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend now for only about a month. After talking online and on the phone for a month, we found that we really liked each other. Even with my hesitation and at one time being just dead set against a relationship, he kept sweetly pursuing until I gave in. He has made me happier than I have ever been in a relationship, and feel more secure about relationships in general. /I was wary of any man because of past negative relationship experiences. To make a long story short: ever since I was raped at 17 after trying to wait until marriage, I lost my sense of self-value. Which explains all of the...not nice... men that i entered into relationships with thereafter. Which explains my firstn pregnancy, which was with a man that seemed as nice as my current boyfriend. Only with him the "act" stopped as soon as he found out i was pregnant. I'm definitely getting an abortion, I just wonder if I should tell the father. I know I could not handle a baby with my 4 yr. old.

FYI I did not have unprotected sex with the father of my first child, nor was he my rapist. We used condoms, but like the package says they arent 100% effective. I hope that some other answerers will actually read before venting their opinions.

opinion/frustrations

Answer 1

i think you should let him know
i had one and my b/f was supportive

http://abortionsupportsite.blogspot.com

Answer 2

Yes, you should. He has the right to know, especially if it's going to be aborted. It's better to know if he's rotten now than find out later; this baby is a gift to you, as telling your boyfriend about it will show his true colors.

From my understanding, your current pregnancy was achieved by your own actions? So then, why abort this child? It's not its fault this happened, so why is it punished; you, of all people, should relate to that perspective. Not to mention it's a fact that a woman becomes depressed and her self value declines dramatically after she has an abortion (I know this for fact, my mother aborted the child before me and has been depressed since).

At the very least, I would give birth to it and if I couldn't handle the kid, give it up for adoption. I'm sure it would appreciate that more than never being given a chance.

I was going to be aborted until my parents realized it wasn't necessary, so I value life in situations like yours; after all, it wasn't my fault nor your child's that we were conceived, so what has been given to us shouldn't be taken away, especially by the same person who gave it to us. To think that I would have never existed had my parents not gotten a second opinion..

Just my take, best of luck.

Answer 3

K honestly i think ur making a bad decision getting an abortion i mean everyone will tell you that it's not alive and all but there wrong, u have that baby for a reason, yeah you've made bad choices but that baby was not one of them, it's a human life and it can bring you so much joy and if u don't want to keep it then have it and give it up for adoption, u should feel lucky to be able to bear a child,there's alot of people who can't have kids, it's sad to think that some people jus throw them away, and to answer ur question yes, u should tell him, if he can't accept it then he ain't much of a man,

Answer 4

Whether you can "handle" a baby or not, you have one, and your baby doesn't deserve to die. Would you let someone hurt your four-year-old? If not, why is the child in your womb fair game? Your unborn baby is just as much your child, and just as worthy of your love and protection. Please don't let anyone hurt your child's little brother or sister. If you have trouble with a sense of self-worth now, believe me when I say it will be much, much worse if you kill your child. Please look at this information before you do something you will regret the rest of your life:

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.bcpinstitute.org/brochure.htm

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
US: http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
International: http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

And yes, your boyfriend deserves to know about his son or daughter.

Answer 5

2 wrongs wont make a right and regardless of your self esteem or self value, you KNOW what is right and wrong.After the abortion your self esteem will really go down the toilet and men will view you MORE as something to be used for sex and dumped at will.YOU are the one volunteering for this treatemnt by having sex out of wedlock and not seeing a guy for what he is BEFORE you have sex with him.Make him wait until after you are married to get sex, this will show whathe is about and also, does he have a job a car a place of his own/
Is he a player with a bunch of illegitimate kids he isnt or isnt taking care of by various women?
Adoption leaves much less pain and self torture than murdering the unborn child YOU irresponsibly made hon.You WILL be able to live knowing your child is taken care of by people who LOVE it and will take care of it rather than knowing it was exposed to chemicals that freeze dried it while the doctor broke it into pieces and yanked it out of you and flushed it down a sink.
If you arent going to change the way you pick men, and you are not going to make them wait until your married, then get your tubes tied, at least then no other children will have to suffer for your irresponsibility.

Answer 6

Handle your business but use it as a learning tool to slow down. Unprotected sex with someone you barely know is just plain dangerous.