I've an unusual situation and plz don't bash me on it. I'd problems in my marriage and separated but during that time I met a guy whom I met 6yrs ago. At the time I'd no feelings for him but he did and even wanted to married me, but I said no. So, now 6 yrs later we met again and this time is different, he is divorced and single. I told him everything about me and what is going on in my marriage and my husband constantly cheated on me. For the 1st week we talked, he told me he still loves me with his heart and wanted me to married him. But I'm in the middle of things, not yet divorce. And told him I can't. So, things went on as usual. Until he told me that I had to make a decision him or my husband b/c he also has to make a decision. I was surprised and said what type of decision? He also has someone on the side who is more than friend. I was hurt; I felt cheated and lied to. That girl called everytime we hung out. So, now I stop talking to him and him to me.Do Ihave the right to upset
2007-11-24 10:29:49 · 41 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
definitely yes!
-HeartBrokenForever (Diane N)
2007-11-24 10:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Di [Pro-Love, Anti-Hate]♫ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to go through with the divorce before your husband gives you aids.
Then you need to stay single for a yr or so and learn to make it on your own,date the other guy if he is still interested but realize you BOTH need time to heal instead of jumping out of the frying pan and into a roaring fire.Your emotions are going to do flip flops about your husband for a while after you divorce, and you and the other guy have probably changed some in the last 6 yrs and may not be the same people anymore.You need time to really get to know one another first before getting serious.
2007-11-24 10:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes & No... Here's why. He hurt you & you are intitled to your feelings. No, because there is no guarantee that in this day & age that people are staying exclussive. Had he committed to you & told you he would wait for you then, he would have. He knew that you were not ready for the committment he is seeking, so therefore he still "saw" the other gal "just in case" you stayed with your husband. I cannot say that I blame him. He didn't want to go through a whole other heartbreak when he could have the feel good of being in love. The sad part & the part that hurt you was that he wasn't up front with you to begin with. You could have kept a very good friend had he not lied to you! Lessons learned...
2007-11-24 10:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I understand how things like that happen its a crazy life....
Bu tI think this other guy just moved in on ya too soon you need time to sort things out and if he has a girlfriend why is he chasing after you? anyways I am just concerned for you being confused! MY husband cheated on me too and I jumped into a relationship with a guy but he just wanted you know what and He knew what I was going through.
anyways I am sure its hard but being alone can actually be good for one! I am feeling so much better and I know that I am glad that my husband left me,I deserve better and it sounds like so do you!
2007-11-24 10:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by dawnO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right person will wait for you!!! Will take things slow and will not put a deadline. If he really has sympathy for you then he of all person's will understand how difficult a divorce can be. I say take time to heal first and then try again to find love. If you do have kids then worry more about helping them get through this difficult time. Yeah and if he has someone else then I wouldn't bother wasting time with him. I wouldn't recommend being angry at him but I would be careful. You will find someone who is dignified of your love and who will love you unconditionally.
2007-11-24 10:41:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.. you have reason to be upset about alot of things..... but ya have to get things in perspective... Your in a bad marriage.. husband cheating and such.... so address that first! It seems your friend shares the same traits as your current husband... he will cheat on you as well... given the "chickie" calling when you guys were together... don't get out of one bad relationship.. to get into another... It's kind of a repeating pattern we all gravitate to when feeling vulnerable..
My advice would be to focus upon what you really want out of life and a true relationship... Focus on "YOU!" and where you want to be... take some time to 'stand up on your own two feet" so to speak... step back and figure out what you want... If he's not talking to you.. well.. I think he was only interested in one thing... ya think? Warmest Holiday Wishes!!!
2007-11-24 10:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by Alan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the guy seemed to have liked you, but rushed things so much that of course, you said no, and now you are upset because he did that to you. its his fault for rushing things. some people think that just because they go out with you it automatically means that the person they are going out with or spending time with is going to be married to them. NO! it doesnt work like that. and of course, its upsetting, so yes, you have every right in this world to be upset! upset that he loved someone else and almost cheated on you. upset that he was nice and rushed things so it ruined everything. and most importantly, upset that your husband is putting a lot of pressure on you and breaking your heart by cheating you.
in a nutshell, yes, you should be upset.
2007-11-24 10:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by mcr_fanatic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be upset if you thought he had become a monk during the last 6 years! It's obvious he has something going on but you are first pick, make up with him or dump him for good.
2007-11-24 10:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by p h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to write a long answer because you wrote a long question, which makes me angry. I was too lazy to read the whole story, so I stopped at Do I have the right to be upset? and my answer to that question is yes, but if you are sad cause you lost in a game, then no because you would be considered a sore loser. I hate sore losers. I always beat people in everything and they get mad at me. I hate jealous people everyone is jealous of me and I am tired of it. I hope you learned your lesson on writing long questions.
2007-11-24 10:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by hk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you two were just friends. He told you how he felt about you, and he told you about the other girl. He was just letting you know that he was not going to put his life on hold while you try to find out what you want. He did not lie you two where ONLY friends. Do you like and do you want to give him a chance?
2007-11-24 10:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by ♥LS♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget both of them.The one you met after your separation for
the second time has a girlfriend already.Your husband is a cheat so you did right to leave him.Try and find someone thats decent this time and stop accepting losers.It's your time now
2007-11-24 10:40:41 · answer #11 · answered by j.p. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋