need something?!?

Question

my mom has been sick in the past 4 years, first with ovarian cancer, then brain cancer last year. i can never seem to find a friend with a good enough shoulder to cry on, am i wrong to want some sympathy?!? any advice on how to explain this to my friends?

Answer 1

NO you are not wrong, my wife has cancer, you need an outlet. My suggestion is to go to a local cancer center and ask for help. There is wonderful therapy groups that meet that can solve your need. you need to look for the group, but when you find the right one, you will be suprised how helpful this will be.

Answer 2

I have had colon cancer this past january, and beat it. unfortunately, no one wants to talk about or listen to someone when the topic is cancer. It is a scary thing to most people, it reminds them of a contagious disease like AIDS. They feel as if maybe they should stay away, and they will not get the disease. Unfortuantely, what the common person does not know is cancer is not particular, nor is it prejudiced. I understand how you feel. I had the same problem at first, as did my husband, but then people we were acquainted with through our jobs stared to have their own medical problems and now they are much more sympathetic. Try a support group, or go with your mom to some of her treatments. You will learn alot, and meet some fantastic people. Real people. If you want to have a shoulder to lean on, try your mom, she probably feels the same way.

Answer 3

No, you are not wrong in wanting sympathy. It's just that many people cannot give it because they are overwhelmed. If you could be specific to your friends on what would be helpful "just be willing to listen to me and don't panic if I cry", "give me a hug when I'm hurting". Things like this will help because your friends need guidance on what it is you want from them. You will still find friends who cannot do this. If you feel you need more, call the American Cancer Society and ask them about support groups for this.