I have a friend who's an alcoholic. He's 30, unemployed and doesn't want to stop drinking. He knows he's an alcoholic & he has a problem. He drinks until he gets sick, does not want to have a job (it would interfere with his drinking), is unreliable, calls booze his *best friend* & many other things. Someone told me that real a alcoholic doesn't drink because they *want to*, they drink because they *have to*. Even if he were to separate himself from his drinking friends and environments, *he will still drink* no matter what! He once told me drinking makes him happy so he wants to continue drinking until it kills him. I never pushed him to go to AA. I told him I would support him if he did, but we agreed that it won't do him any good unless he really wants help. He does not. He is very unreliable of course. My friends tell me to stay away & not get too close b/c I can't depend on him. I have been hurt by him in the past & they don't think it will stop. How close should I get?
2007-11-24 09:48:55 · 10 answers · asked by Sara 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
even if you want to help this person....it will hurt you....better to do the opposite of wondering how close you should get to them....rather how far away from them you can get from them....
...it is sweet you want to care....but sometimes people are very toxic to you and you have to also take care of yourself...since they will not care ...and will actually easily hurt you and just keep doing so....
...I have known some people who might not have a drug or chemical problem...but just the same they are people so bad....you can't help them and they will only hurt you...
...when you get involved with people...pay attention to your instincts and the little things...and don't let yourself be pulled into their negative lives....live your own life...be as happy as you can be....
2007-11-24 10:17:37 · answer #1 · answered by answergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question. I believe you already know the answer. At this point in time a relationship at this point would not be a good idea. I would suggust you continue to be a good, caring friend. I am told that A>A> has meetings for friends and famliey members of alcoholics, may get some ideas there. This man is very lucky to have a friend such as you, in time he may see that. I wish you and your friend all the best. John T
2007-11-24 10:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by john t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're wanting him to go to AA, you should be going to AlAnon. That's for family and friends of an alcoholic. If you need to ask how close you should get to him, you need help just as badly as he does. It won't tell you what to do, it'll just make suggestions and tell you how being associated with an Alcoholic was before AlAnon, and what it's like now. If you can't find it in the phone book, call AA, they'll know just where it is.
Blessed Be
2007-11-24 09:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should still persist. Never give up trying to make him stop drinking. If he won't listen to you, call his family together or yours if he doesn't have one and bring him with you. Have the entire family, you, and your friend, in a room together and you all need to explain to him that he needs to realize that what he's doing is wrong and he needs to stop. If it works and he listens, have him go to AA. I think in the long run he will thank you, but if he doesn't, you should still know in your heart that you turned someone's life around.
2007-11-24 10:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can not be convinced to stop, no m atter how badly they are hurting themselves and others.
It seems like you have tried to be the best friend you can be. One day, possibly when he's sober, just explain to him he's hurting you and you don't think you can be around him anymore. Make it clear if he ever wants to change his ways, you will help him and support him 100% but until then you can't have any contact with him.
2007-11-24 10:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a sick man and will only drag you down so let him go and stay away who is contributing the money for this alcohol habit of his you just tell him one last time I'm sorry i cant watch you kill yourself and you wont get help but i cant be around you i care about you but i cant deal with this but if you want to go to get help call me
2007-11-24 09:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by dreamweaver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get too close to him nor would I drink with him. Alcohol is an expensive habit, if he doesn't work, who buys it for him?
2007-11-24 10:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by maddiekaykay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, "when you're really ready to quit, call me. Don't call unless you really, truly mean it, because I'll be picking you up and dropping you at rehab."
TX Mom
2007-11-24 09:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A hand shake.
2007-11-24 10:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with witchy woman in ohio !
2007-11-24 09:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by A & F chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋