How to tell your Catholic parents that you are an atheist /agnostic?

Question

Maybe this will make it worse......THEY ARE IN THE CHURCH CHOIR!

So yeah.....they are extreme devote to this.

Answer 1

I just said, as politely and gently as I could, "Sorry, but I don't believe any of this anymore. It's nothing personal. You can believe if you like. I just don't." -- or something like that.
Of course, for a while I had to engage statements like, "Oh no, do you realize you might be going to hell!" and questions like "How did you lose your faith!"
I just smile and respond that I don't believe hell is waiting for any of us, and that I "lost" my faith on purpose as a result of asking questions, reading, and thinking really hard about it.

Answer 2

Well, that depends. If they're very anti other religions, then I'd just not tell them. I'd pretend, and once I became a legal adult (18) I'd tell them. Just to humor them. I mean, they did raise you and presumably love you. So just pretend to make them happy.

However, if you're desperate to tell them, get it off your chest I'd phrase it like this:
"What would you guys say if I didn't want to follow the Catholic religion anymore?"
Wait and see how they respond to this. If they seem kind of open-minded, then tell them:
"Well, as I've gotten older, I've started thinking about religion a lot, questioning things. And, well, I just don't think that Catholicism is the right religion for me anymore. I think that I'm an Athiest or an Agnostic."
If they freak out then say this:
"Please respect my beliefs. It doesn't change who I am. I'm still the same person, I still love you guys. I just hoped that you could be understanding."

Answer 3

Try this: "Mom, Dad, I know that your religion is something that you are very passionate about, however, I do not feel the same way as you do. I have tried to go to church, but I do not feel comfortable there. I do not embrase the teachings of the Catholic church. There are too many things that Catholics believe, that I just do not believe in. I would appreciate you trying to understand my feelings as I have tried to understand yours. I just do not believe in (fill in the blank, what ever you don't believe in). I'm sorry that this differs from your opinion, but on this, I think we need to agree to disagree."

If you believe in God, but not church, tell them. If you don't believe in any of it, be specific, but tell them. I had to do this with my grandparents when I turned 21 and wanted to change religions. The Catholic church wasn't for me either, but I did believe in God, just not church. Surprisingly enough, my grandmother took it well. She said, I don't care if you are Catholic or not, as long as you believe in something. The discussion never came up again. It's worth a try.

Answer 4

Just come out and tell them. It can never get any worse that telling Catholics; believe me, I know.

They might cry and wonder what they did wrong, or not talk to you for a while, or take shots at you for the rest of your life, but they're all about "the truth" anyway, right?

Don't worry.

But also, make up your mind if you're atheist or agnostic. Agnostics are atheists without balls... just remember that.

Answer 5

Tell them that you hve chosen a different spiritual path than what they raised you in. Tell them you are thankful that they taught you what they thought was right. Let them know that you appreciate other things they did for you. Tell them you love them. (I'm assuminng all of these things are true, or you wouldn't be worried about hurting them.) Tell them you don't want to hurt them, and that this is not a form of rebellion. Be prepared to answer questions about what EXACTLY you do believe. No yelling, no alcohol, and no other people should be involved (drink after with my blessings).
I dreaded telling my conservative evangelical pastor parents that I didn't believe what they did. Turns out, they figured that they did the best they could, and if I was going to turn away, it wasn't their fault - pretty much. They hate that I'm raising my kids differently than they would choose, but I don't hear much about it, really. It was way worse in my mind than it was in reality.

Answer 6

First, do you even understand why you're doubting that God is and always will be? There is a force that is creating this disbelief in the first place. Have you questioned the motive of this doubt? All the answers you've received so far are from unbelievers.

As my father used to tell me, he would only believe someone that said they were an atheist if they were seconds away from death and they still would not call out for God to save them. Perhaps, you are not where God wants you to be to enjoy His full blessings. What stumbling blocks have you put in the way from receiving His guidance?

May I suggest that you read C.E. Lewis "Case for Christianity", who was a scientist that began to disprove God's existent but through his exhaustive research was actually converted into a believer. Perhaps, it's the thought of man-made religion that is turning you off to God but that is man not God. I was there myself early in my life but I finally realized that it was man that frustrated me not God.

All of you on here that gave flippant answers, I pray you will seek the truth yourself. How can any of you say that all the beauty of this world was an accident that was not devined by God? To encourage another to deny God is walking on scary ground. You should also question what spirit is motivating you to make the choices that you are? I can assure you that C.E. Lewis was much more learned than any of us on this forum and yet he changed his disbelief into belief.

Free choice is given but so are the consequences without His guidance. So do all of you think that when we die that this is it? We simply live and die and no more. What would be the point?

Answer 7

Talk to them, explain how you feel and be mature and adult about it, if they start with rude comments or anything like it, walk away and don't put up with it, they need to respect that this is where you are in your life and if you change your mind latter that is your decision too.
I used to be a christian and when I changed my religion and became a muslim my family didn't like it at all, but I told them that it was my choice and that was it. I am a muslim now and my family is okay with it. But why do you have to tell them, if it come up you tell them, it is not something that they must know unless they ask, then you have to tell the truth!

Would you be a honey bee and check this out!?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnWtJCFPI0cU2C1y5iMrvuTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071124002909AAm0Xj2

Answer 8

Declare your views in the parlor or the den when an intelligent discussion can be ensued and not at the dinner table or in Church.

Before you make that claim why don't you just brush up a little more on the subject of atheism or agnosticism so you can have logical and definitive reasons for your disbelief in God rather than an empty opinion based on feelings and the inexperience of youth.

Please carefully read this interesting article discussing Atheism:
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02040a.htm

Answer 9

The same way you tell any parents.

Honestly, the denomination isn't the part that decides how upset they are going to get, it's how open minded and open to free choice they are. You know your parents better than us, so we can't tell you. Try getting into a conversation about atheism, then you'll know what they think about it and can figure out how to go from there.

Answer 10

yeah my parents are mormon. they kept making me go to church until one day i told them they'd turned religion into a punishment.... that opened their eyes a little. they just notice with me, like i never pray over my food anymore, i dress how i want, i go out on sundays (pretty bad in their eyes) but they seem to think its just a phase. my dad brought it up recently, and for the most part i keep my mouth shut.... i dont want to sway their beleifs, theyre happy lil mormons. but when it comes down to it i'm pretty firm about what i do and dont believe, i just dont go into detail as to why. ok this is turning into a novel... in short, you dont have to sit them down and make a big deal of it. they'll notice you're not living catholically, just stand your ground.