Muslim husband wont allow our two kids to go to church. I was Muslim but, now Christian. Scripture advice?

Question

We have been married ten years. He was Muslim/I was Christian. Four years later after studying I became Muslim. I stayed in the muslim faith for six years but never practiced much. Then we had two boys. After studying again this year I made a terrible mistake/should have NEVER become muslim. I wish I could take it back but I can't. Now he says that in Islam he is the head of the household and he is responsible for the kids. He thinks that is what the Bible says too. I am aware of that passage but I believe he is using that to prove his point but he doesn't believe most of what the Bible teaches. I think that is written to Christians and I am only bound by that rule if I can be "in the Lord." If I am not allowed to raise my boys in the Church should I stay with him? How should I raise my kids without church? Should I tell him they must go or else I am leaving him? He wants them to go to a private Muslim school. My son will start K next year. I need honest scriptural advice/guidance???

Answer 1

I Timothy 5:8, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

The husband has the primary responsibility to provide physically and spiritually for his household.

I Timothy 3:4-5, "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"

Titus 2:4-5, "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Today, women often shirk their responsibility to their family by devoting too much time to working outside the home.

I Corinthians 11:3, 8-9, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God . . . . For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."

I Peter 3:1, 5-6, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives . . . . For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

Ephesians 5:22-33, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

Husbands are the head of the family. Wives are to be willing partners of the family team.

Answer 2

Mormons (self proclaimed christians that they are) do not baptize children until they are 8, for the sole reason that they believe that before the age of 8 a child has hardly any capacity to make any sort of important decision like that. And in my experience, having once been a member of that religion, even 8 years old isn't nearly developed enough to properly judge and make such a decision. Your husband, and many of the people who answered here are likely missing a very important point. What is really best for the child? And the only honest answer that anyone could give to such a question is: love them, and give them as much information as possible and the support to make choices of their own. This isn't really about you or your husband. Parent's do not own their children, and what religion this child will one day partake of is out of both of your hands. It's between them and God. To otherwise insist they do one thing or another is selfish. That is of course regarding the beliefs they will one day have. As far as traditions and culture, I agree with some others here that a mix would almost be inevitable.

Answer 3

This is something that should have been discussed before marriage. The bible says that a believer should marry a believer. If you want to stay married then you two will have to come to an agreement. But it sounds to me like he won't change his thinking at all. You may have to leave because you will be miserable if you stay. You can get a divorce on the grounds of irreconsilable differences.Islam may say that he controls the house but the US of A says you have a choice. Good Luck.

Answer 4

We are told in the bible to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he wont depart from it. It is your responsibility to teach your boys about Jesus . The husband is the head of the home, but he cant make you be Muslim. If you cant work it out, you may be better off leaving and sharing the children and you can then take the children to church when they are with you.

Answer 5

May I ask you what your husband does? Were you desperate to marry him? Why did you become Muslim?

He sure is head of family and is feeding you and your children. That is the reason you are still with him or else you would have divorced him by now and taken the children away from him.

I suppose he makes good money so you don't want to leave him. You can not have cake and eat it too. This is how life is normally. Either you enjoy life and keep spending his money or leave him and starve. Why are you not taking the choice you have? If he is rich he might prove you unfit mother, take custody of children and leave you out in street. Take your pick. You became Muslim and God forgave all your previous sins. You left Islam and now you wrote your fate in hell. That is what Islam says. Sorry I am not making it up.

If you stay with him, he will raise your children to be good Muslims and good humans and will have college education too. If you leave him, you will suffer and your children will not have college education. And being non-Muslims they will learn to sleep with girls, drink liquors and will be doing all kinds of dirty things that most of the non-Muslims youngsters do and pile up nothing but sin in their lives and end up in hell in next life.

So decide what you want for yourself and your children.

Answer 6

This is a very serious situation you've gotten yourself into.

--Your husband can't stop you from talking to your boys about Jesus, and who Jesus is and what he did for them.

--You may have to tolerate your husband teaching them about Islam.

--You should not let your boys go to the Muslim school. Tell your husband that the public school is where they need to go, because they live in a diverse world where everyone is not Muslim, and they need to learn to get along with non-Muslims. At the Muslim school, it will be too sheltered.

--You must not let your husband use the Bible against you, since he believes it is a corrupted book--he has no right to use a corrupted book in an argument against you. If it is corrupted, then it doesn't mean what it says, but if it's not corrupted, then he needs to believe what it says! Not only that, though-- the passage he is referring to also tells HUSBANDS that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, by laying down their lives...is your husband able to do that? If not, then he has no right to quote that passage to you anyway, since he's only quoting 1/2 of it and that 1/2 does not stand alone.

--If he wants you to stay with him and he is not abusing you or your boys, then you need to stay with him, as long as none of you are in danger. BUT-- don't EVER let him leave the country with your boys to go visit relatives, no matter what--there are too many horror stories about Muslim men leaving the country with their children and the mothers never seeing them again. Really, please be careful, and make sure you have American passports for the children. See a lawyer before you need one!

--Yes, I think you can say to your husband that you think it is only fair and decent that they go to church as well as the mosque or muslim school, and put your foot down about that. According to lots of Muslims who post here, women are equal to men, so you should have equal say in this matter (sorry for the sarcasm -- I never believed it when I saw people post that, either).

This is a serious situation -- if you think you are going to leave your husband, then you need to put a plan into action right away regarding custody, and disallowing your husband from taking them from the country under any circumstance.

May the strength of Christ and the comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit be with you.

Answer 7

I think both of you must have honest discussions regarding which faith tradition your children are to be brought up in. He knew you were a Christian when he met you and he knew that when he married you. His faith tradition is as important to him as yours is to you.

I think both of you should bring up your sons in both traditions until such time when they decide for themselves what is right for them. You and your husband must have ongoing, honest discussions/communication with them about Christianity and Islam. They should become familiar with both the similarities and the differences. In addition, they must see both of you sincerely practicing what you profess to believe in. If not, they may not take you seriously.

Your husband must be open to really listening to your views, thoughts, etc. on this issue. If you really do think you made a mistake in embracing Islam and want to return to Christianity, then you should make that clear to him. Both of you are responsible for your children. They don't need to see you both at odds with each other, especially when it comes to faith and belief.

As a practicing Muslim woman, I believe that if Muslim men want their children to be brought up in Islam, then they should marry sincere, practicing Muslim women. If some of them insist on marrying Christian or Jewish women, then they should expect their wives to teach their children Christianity or Judaism.

I wish you well. I sincerely hope and pray that your marriage does not end in divorce.

Answer 8

How dare this man talk to you like this? You cat let him run you and youre childrren like this. Get out a.s.a.p and bring your children up as christians if that is what you want for them. Although I wouldnt warn him that you are going to leave him becasue then he could try and stop you. And ignore the fool that said husband are head of their wives. Were in the 21st century not the 18th!!!

Answer 9

Dear Sister,

Its by GoD's grace you came to learn the truth,
What's GOD's wish? No one will not loose !

Your husband too may get belief later. Pray for the grace to
come upon him, 1 corint 2/8

You can continue in the belief and prayers eventhough your
husband doesn't allows you to goto church. but you can request him to permit so. first let us become a model of christ.
from us our relative should learn about the life of Christ. we must live a life to testimony Christ.

Truly Jesus can hear our prayers wherever we are.
if you wish to be baptised, keep it in mind and submit the
desire to God. It itself is the begining of your baptism. God approves your belief.

Once again, I advice Live as a christian in the limiatation of
approving your husband. It is the same God gave you ur husband.

Thank you,

GOD bless you and hear your prayers

your loving brother

sabu

Answer 10

You should stay with him and follow his direction. 1 Cor. 7:13 talks about the unbelievers. Your children will learn from you and him. Two perspectives are better then one. When they grow up then they can make up their own minds. Your job is to be obedient to God's will which includes allowing your husband to be responsible for the spiritual guidance he provides for his family.

Answer 11

This calls for some serious prayer. Know that God is with you every step of the way on the path you need to take. The path will become clear. God Bless.