Its happening more and more lately and I can't take it anymore. We have a 4mth old baby together so it really needs to stop. I've tried to be supportive, I tried to be firm but nothing seems to work. He knows he has a problem and does want to change but can't seem to take those steps. How can I help him? I live in Australia.
2007-11-24 07:52:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
You can start out by getting your doctor involved. Often a recommendation to go seek help from your doctor is a good start. Visit an AA meeting together if your husband is reluctant to go.
If you can't get him to go yet make him read information on alcohol addiction. Key is to get him to face and admit his addiction. If you can't do that alone please seek help and remember you are not alone!
Check out the website for AA Australia and contact them to find out how they can help you.
2007-11-24 08:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tantalizing Dutch Delilah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for thirty years to a wife with a serious drinking problem [we've been separated for the past five years]. After one arrest for Public Intoxication; one arrest for Theft (of a bottle of wine), and two Driving While Intoxicated arrests in less than three years, she's finally (hopefully) on the road to recovery.
For years I attended Al-Anon meetings. They tell you the same thing: you can't help an alcoholic until they want to help themselves. Our family conducted interventions; the cost of my wife's alcoholism over thirty years has been more than $250,000.00 (when you factor in damage to cars and homes, legal costs, job losses, etc.).
I'm 64 years old and have been an enabler for most of the past thirty years. Nothing worked until I finally put my foot down and walked away. While I'll never return to the marriage, I will also never abandon her (as long as she continues to stay sober). The best advice I have to offer you is simple: walk away now and stay away until he's proven over a period of YEARS (not weeks or months) that he's clean and sober. Believe me, "being supportive" is not going to change him; "being firm" is not going to keep him from drinking. He must know that his "drinking problem" requires professional assistance in the form of counseling, rehabilitation, or deterrent programs - or he will absolutely, positively lose his wife and child.
I have always considered the "four A's" to be concrete reasons for walking away from a marriage:
ALCOHOLISM
ADULTERY
ABANDONMENT
ABUSE
Unfortunately, if his alcoholism escalates, so will the adultery, abandonment and abuse. -RKO- 11/24/07
2007-11-24 08:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by -RKO- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fallowing is a great article:
Living with an alcoholic – some dos and don’ts.
By John McMahon
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/McMahon3.html
If he doesn't want to get the proper help. I suggest finding a group that you can join ie Al-Anon.
Best Wishes!
2007-11-24 08:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, you can only hurt him by supporting it. Ihave been through this and he has to make the decision that he wants to get help. For years my husband wouldn't even admitt that he had a problem. I almost left him, and took the kids, when he finally decided to stop.
2007-11-24 08:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by hello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello like alot of Aussie men they love their beer (I'm Aussie)i would suggest may bee go to a counsellor ,Ive heard that centerlink offers free counseling to some people if he dosnt want to go then AA is avalabile here look in your local paper
2007-11-24 08:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to Al Anon yourself first, if he won't go to AA. They will give you the tools to take action. Good luck.
2007-11-24 08:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by snowbaal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to AA, but he has to want the help!
2007-11-24 07:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋