I met this amazing girl. She's smart, beautiful, interesting, and hot. We started talking on the phone for an average of at least an hour a night. I wanted to date her. I asked her out and found out that she has a boyfriend. She loves him but he cheats on her. She wanted to be friends-with-benefits with me behind his back. I told her that I wanted a meaningful relationship with her.
We are just friends for now.
I took her out on a date and told her that I have feelings for her and want her to break up with her boyfriend and date me. This upset her.
We are still friends but she has pulled back a little. We talk regularly but not as much. The (college) semester is coming to an end and we won't see each other anymore. We have to decide how we want things to continue. I really like this girl and wanted to date her but I don't like the ways things are.
What do you think about this?
2007-11-24 07:18:56 · 20 answers · asked by bumblyjack 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You did the Right thing, She would have just used you and broke your heart in the end, weather that was her intent or not. There are a million other fish in the sea, so grab a cooler full of cold ones an get out there and FISH!
2007-11-24 07:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you did an honest and honourable thing. FWB relationships usually end up having the same type of jealousy, etc that regular relationships have. Besides who's to say that if she cheats on this fella for you that in time she won't do the same with someone else behind your back. You sound like a pretty mature young man so why not get involved with someone who is interested in you and wants the same out of a relationship as you. Live is far to short to play these childish games.
2007-11-24 15:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off I will say you are not crazy for turning down a friends with benefits offer at all. It always turns into a messy situation when someone starts to develop feelings which you already have feelings for her. Plus she has a boyfriend to, you did the right thing. I know you like her but maybe things weren't meant to be. Doesn't sound like she's willing to break up with her cheating boyfriend. Also if she was planning on cheating on her boyfriend with you, then if you did get together who's to say she wouldn't cheat on you, think about it.
2007-11-24 15:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by HoneyBrisk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah this isn't a good arrangement as she already has a boyfriend. In fact, it is a good way to expose yourself to STDs by sleeping with someone who you know has multiple partners. Also friends with benefits only works if you don't want to date the person (which is obviously not the case for you). Run away. Thisgirl is nothing but trouble.
2007-11-24 15:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anybody who is going to do that has no respect for themself or others.Especially her boyfriend.Im sure you could do better.If you really like her and want to be with her dont you think the friends with benefits will just be messing with your emotions?Your smart for saying "just friends" because the more you let yourself get attached to her the more it will hurt you to hear her say "lets just be friends with benefits".Im sorry but dont you think this is her way of getting pay back on her man?Im sorry about your problems with her.Good luck with whatever you end up choosing.
2007-11-24 15:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by elmo_1191 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's very noble of you really. But it's a tough call; it's hard to trust someone in a relationship with you when you know that she's cheated before (just because he was cheating, that doesn't make it ok for her to cheat; it just shows nowadays what kind of crap relationships are usually built on, but I won't rant on that here) but it's your call. If she seemed taken aback at your idea of her breaking up with her boyfriend and dating you, it makes it seem as if she really doesn't want a committed sort of relationship....
2007-11-24 15:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by pieninja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not! Things can get complicated in a "friends with benefits" relationship. I tried it once and wound up in a horrible 3-year-long relationship with a pathological liar who I wasn't even attracted to.
2007-11-24 15:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by alex_from_sf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps this lady wants to know how good you are in bed, before she ditches the other guy and goes with you.
You are basically asking her to make a blind decision and choose you without knowing you that well. And probably this is asking too much of her.
I suggest that you do as she wants and more. Exceed her expectations in bed. And perhaps then she will realize that you are better than her other guy and choose you.
2007-11-24 15:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i was in the same situation as in that i fall for a guy who was in a relationship and he suggested to have a relationship behind his gfs back that was a complete turn off for me because if they are really that unloyal then the aren't potential good relationship material are they
2007-11-24 16:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by polexia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that your smart not to have taken the friends with benefits offer and i think that you asking her to give up her boyfriend wasn't quite the thing to do because if someone cheats on the person that they are with they have the capability to cheat on you and could you really trust someone who cheated on the person that they were with not to cheat on you ?
2007-11-24 15:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by mamajohn 55 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋