Adolescence, Teen confusion, self esteem, Perception, change. Someone Help me please...?

Question

Hello,
I am 16 years old male. From the age of 8, I was bullied throughout school as everyone at school called me a 'girl', and 'gay' for the things i used to do. However I have changed completely from that time, where I did 'girly' things. Because of the way i was in the past and the way i thought, i feel very confused. I am not gay, but from a very young age people put me down and now i feel very insecure, paranoid and self conscious about my appearance, because i feel that even if i meet new people they will think of me as the person i was in the past, which is something i DO NOT want. Can someone please help me.. I am very depressed all the time and do not have friends, who i can speak to.Do you think this change and state of confusion and mental problems like low self esteem etc is due to adolescence? Growing up?.. Can someone please explain.. I always worry that people will still think of me as a girl, when i am not. Please help me... What is happening? .. Anyone been through it?

Answer 1

It's not unusual what you are passing through. I suggest you to be more reserved and less talkative for some months.Ignore what others say about you or , what others may think about you.Be more studious and perform in your assignments putting in your best efforts. Don't smile or giggle when others pull down anyone or tease anyone. Just remain calm and refrain from passing any comment. Do more physical exercise and try to develop personality of your own .....wear manly dresses....talk more serious stuff when you think you should. After about six months, you will notice dramatic change in attitude of others towards you.
Never think you are inferior to others in any way.Don't behave "girlish".After all, you are a man.
I had similar phase of life and in some way like yours. I had simply ignored what others think of me , or, what others tell about me , although , I heard on many occasions those utterances.
I simply tried my best to perform well in my study .....I hardly used to talk with girls and gave up the habit of acting girlish.
Please try the way I am suggesting you to do.I am sure , you will overcome the trauma ....adolescence invites many uncomfortable things/traits in life.You are a man.You should believe in your ability and your manhood.
God bless.

Answer 2

What you have is a combination of problems. First, you are at the age when puberty is in full force. The surges of hormones through your body every minute is very difficult for even the happiest of persons to deal with. Add to that the social insecurity of your past and you've got a rough row to hoe! Best thing is to take it in small steps. Find a few people you can be friends with who treat you like a regular person. The circle will naturally expand from that. But know from the beginning that not everybody is going to like you. Statistics say one out of every three people you meet will dislike you on sight! So if your percentage is better than that, give yourself a pat on the back!

And be patient! As with everything else, this too shall pass.

Answer 3

well this is somewhat of a hard question to answer but i will help you.

first of all if you really truly dont act like a girl than go for it. the people you meet will know only what you express. the people at school were a bunch of freaks that were only looking to have some fun. I will bet that nobody thought you were really gay although you were sort of on the feminie side. besides it is perfectly okay to act somewhat feminie because nobody could really help it it is the type of personaity they have. so i know u prolly tried really hard to become what you have become so get out and have fun. make friends and live like any other teenage guy. and if certain people dont like you 4 who u are than forget them. move on there are billions of other people on this planet. but rememebr to always act like yourself and not act like something you aren't. hope this helps/!

Answer 4

im a girl but i know exactly what you're going through...
the best way to get through this is to make new friends(join clubs or hobbies you like so you'l meet people with the same interests as you)this well get your self confidence higher...but when you meet these people imagine the way you want them to see you....and i know its not easy but try to act it out...just be happy and friendly....eventually they'l get to know the real you....and dont worry they won't think you're a girl because they don't know about your past ! and if people say you're ugly im telling you now its because they're jelous!!!!!!!gd luck :) i hope i helped.