I feel that im losing my 6 year old emotionally help!!!!!?

Question

I have a very angry little 6 yr old boy, i think it may be due to me leaving his father, but the relationship wasnt good. I knew i had to leave for the bst interest of our children. He saw alot of things that he shouldnt have, and there ws alot of bad influence at times. After leaving my husband, my two boys and i were forced to live in a shelter until we found a secure apt. Since then his father has been put in jail, will be geting out soon. My 6 yr old talks to him on the one 1xper week and is aware that he will be out soon.
The anger comes from him when i discipline him, he yells back at me, or tells me he hates me and hates our house (our new apt.) He has dificulty getting along with other children, always tries bullying them, wants to be superior. When attention is shown elsewhere, he hs a behavior.He is mean to his 4 yr old brother, and gets so angry he throws, kicks,&punches. also, fears being alone, whether dark or not, always uses fear as excuse to not do things.

Answer 1

Can you get him exposed to spiritual influence somehow? Something like church, or read scripture to him? Something somehow get God exposure, which cures a million ills?

Answer 2

Your little guy has gone through an awful lot of hard stuff already at his young age. It is not your fault. He does sound like a good candidate for some counseling. You can contact his pediatrician for a referral or his school should have resources to you as well. If you are part of a church family, speak with your pastor. There are many resources available, you just have to be persistent in finding the ones that will be most beneficial to your family. You have gone through some rough times as well and being able to talk to someone about them and getting help in dealing with your son's anger should help your family. Family and individual counseling would help a lot. There are many that accept payment on a sliding scale if funds are an issue. Additionally, some insurances will cover therapy. I think your son's future and happiness depend on getting him some help now before his anger issues begin to control him or he injures you or his little brother or another child at school. I am sure he is a terribly scared little boy and he needs you to be strong and help him. When he lashed out at you, do not take it personally, he is simply needing to vent and you are a safe person to do it to. He trusts you and knows you won't leave him no matter, but he doesn't know how else to express himself.

Answer 3

You need to get your child into counseling Right NOW!! Everything he is doing is a scream for help. He doesn't have the vocabulary or the ability to tell you how he is feeling so all his anger, hurt, & fear is coming out in these destructive ways. This is not about you, it is about how he is relating to his world. As hard as it was for you to go through everything that you have been through it was ten times harder for him. He is just a child and really doesn't understand why his world was turned upside down and inside out.

Keep your rules simples, your discipline consistant & firm. Get him and the rest of the family some couseling and in time everything will work itself out and be better than before. Best wishes and good luck.

Answer 4

He's trying to express himself, in the only way a 6 year old can. Life has been tough on him with all the changes and upheavals and this has left him confused and angry and helpless. The fact that he's shouting at you is a good thing because he's choosing to communicate with you because he trusts you not to reject him. If he was withdrawn / clingy it would be worse, even though it doesn't feel like it. My 5 year old also shouts and tells me he hates living here and he's leaving etc - he's being melodramatic and he calms down after a while and he isn't having any of the issues your little boy is having but even a tough day at school can really take it out of them at that age. They don't have many ways to tell you how their feeling so you need to see this as his way of letting off steam. Try giving him a hyg, and talking him through his anger, tell him you understand why he's angry and its hard to express but there are better ways because this is upsetting you / his little brother etc. Be firm that its not acceptable to behave this way but try not to get angry about it. Maybe you could give him another outlet, drawing pictures about how you feel or letting off steam at the park or reading books about separation etc, you will probably have to try lots of different things before you happen on something that he responds to. Don't take it personally he's not aiming this at you but he's trying to establish boundaries etc and it'll take time to settle down again. Good Luck

Answer 5

He has just gone through a very hard time. His whole world has been turned upside down, shaken and tossed around. Even though he saw the worst of your relationship with his dad, he wants to believe in the best. To him, his father is still a superhero and he thinks you took that away from him. Get him to a counselor (his school should have one if you can't afford your own). Be honest with his teachers, let them know of all the changes and ask for their help. And be consistent. Kids need structure. They thrive on it. Make sure you stick to punishments and praise him when he does good. You are the mother...make sure he knows it. You might want to get him involved in a sport to boost his self worth. Look for a good coach that knows how to raise confidence!!

Answer 6

It sounds like you should get some therapy help. There are very good family therapists who will help in these types of situations. A good therapist will include both you and your son in the therapy, both singly and together. He or she will counsel you on good parenting techniques for this situation and try to get underneath the anger to the causes of your son's difficulties.

They also say that a little boy who is acting out like this is basically saying that he needs more love and attention. He's feeling abandoned. Love him more, be with him, make sure you are scheduling quality time with him. Get down to his level to talk with him. Take advantage of the good times when he is not angry by giving him lots of attention and TLC. Reward good behavior.

But get professional help too.

Good luck.

Answer 7

He is insecure...you have obviously done the right thing in removing him and his brither from their Father...but he will be out soon and the contact, unless handled very carefully may disrupt him further.

If he does not alrady have a very strong daily routine, I would suggetst that you make one...certain times for eating, play etc. also a rewards chart...keep it positive...One star for being especially kind to his brother for example will enforce the idea that kindness is good....it only has to be something like, he plays nicely with the 4 year old for ten minutes...then he gets a star...give the 4 year old his own chart too...
When they have twenty stars they get a treat.

With contact with the ex. I would make sure it is only for short periods of time...and that they are accompanied...can they go to the Exs Moms house for example?

Good luck and Im sure it'll all work out...you obviously care a lot and thats the main thing.

Answer 8

have you tried therapy or counseling? sounds like your child has an emotional loss due to his father not around, which is the cause of his anger. no one likes to hear it...but ADHD is what it is. I have it, heck nearly 99.8% of the U.S has it. nothing to be ashamed of, nothing new. get him in counseling which i can assure you will result in them recommending medication. as far as discipline, you need to put your foot down. granted it can be rough as a single mom, and you dont have a male figure around who is usually a little more intimidating. dont give in is the best advice i can you, you need to let your child know whos boss, if it comes down to it, take things away from him that he may enjoy or give too much attention too, Foods, tv, games, and if you havent done it yet. make sure your child gets 12 hrs sleep every night...no matter what! cant stress that enough. sleep and a healthy sleep schedule result in a good behavioral balance in young children and will make it easier on you when it comes to discipling him.

Answer 9

This anger comes from being scared. So does yours. Don't yell at him, start talking. Everything that was "normal" to him before is gone. You will have to teach him how to live in safer times.

Answer 10

hun this may or may not have to do with it! when you punish any child (no matter age or situation!) they probably will say they hate you and try to hurt your feelings some how. but if it does have to do with your situation then maybe he should meet with the school counciler (excuse my spelling!) just to make sure! im not saying there is something wrong with him, but every child has their own way of coping with these situations! best of luck!