Where do I start? Ok so we invited my 4 yr old son's friend and his parents over for Thanksgiving and they were delighted to come join us. I asked the mom before hand if she and her family were allergic to anything or can't eat any foods. She said they can't chocolates or drink sodas but everything else they can eat. So we made a lot of food and cleaned up our place to make it comfortable for the guests. When the guests arrived, I welcomed the parents by hugging them and when I hugged the dad, the dad just stood there and didn't hug me back for some reason. This made me feel weird so I let it go.
I asked if they would like anything to drink or eat and they all ate but the mom didn't want to eat anything or drink anything at all. I soon found out before I served her turkey that she didn't eat meat and she was a vegetarian. I wondered why she didn't tell me beforehand that she couldn't eat meat, so I could fix her something else. Continued......
2007-11-24 02:55:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Continued... The mother only ate but 2 tablespoons of mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and then she wasn't hungry anymore. She didn't even want to taste the green bean casserole that we made. She didn't want to drink juice. She only took a sip of water. And she asked if she could take the rest home, if that's okay. I felt so offended that she didn't make an effort to eat.
I even played a little bit of piano but they didn't say any comments after I finished playing.
Then the mother asked me that I shouldn't worry about anything. It's the people thats more important than the food. She got her intuition wrong because I didn't have a reason to smile anymore because I tried to make the guests feel uncomfortable but I ran out of ideas. I packed food for them so they could take it home.
I didn't receive a thank you note from them yet. Should I send them one?
2007-11-24 03:00:04 · update #1
Oh and by the way, when I greeted the guests goodbye, I hugged the guests bye and the dad the didn't reciprocate the hug, she just stood there clueless.
2007-11-24 03:02:13 · update #2
I meant the dad just stood there clueless.
2007-11-24 03:02:43 · update #3
I saw the dad before and I shook hands with him before but when they came over, I found it more appropriate to give them a hug this time, especially, when coming to our house.
2007-11-24 03:06:47 · update #4
No, you are not supposed to send them a thank you note. They should have sent you one. These are very ungrateful and ungracious people. It was a mistake to invite them. They behaved strangely. Just forget about them. They are not worth the trouble you went to. I am sorry you had this experience when you went out of your way to be nice to them.
2007-11-24 03:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people are not comfortable with hugging especially if they don't know you well so I wouldn't worry about that. The woman should have mentioned being vegetarian since you asked, however, there were lots of veggies by the sounds of it. Maybe she is just a very shy person and was uncomfortable being there since they don't know you. I would however find it very odd for her to ask to take stuff home! I don't think there is a need for a thank you note, however a phone call thanking your for the lovely dinner, etc. would have been a good thing to do.
2007-11-24 11:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, when I started dating my husband, I hugged his mother and then his father. His father stood there like a stick! The next time we saw them was at our house. He snuck in sideways when I opened the front door so as not to get hugged. Strange, but some people don't want to be hugged. Their loss!
You need not feel badly because your guests didn't eat. You were nice enough to invite them for dinner. It was their loss if they didn't eat. Let it go. In the whole scheme of things, you were the perfect hostess. I don't think they need to send you a thank you note. You need not send them a note either.
Next year, invite different people for Thanksgiving. It's the act of opening your home to others that's important.
2007-11-24 11:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by Juanitaville 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you invited them.. you owe no thank you note. You could write one if you felt like it. Don't feel unappreciated if you don't get one from them, either. Not everyone thinks like you do.
Two other things:
Your guests probably didn't want you to feel like you had to go all out for them, and that's why she didn't mention she was a vegetarian. There are many things to eat, without worrying about that. (I do not eat turkey or ham, and never bother to tell anyone..)
Also, not everyone likes to hug, so don't be offended that the hubby didn't hug you back.
But I do think it's QUITE rude of your guest to accept an invitation to dinner and not eat anything at all.. That's actually insulting.
2007-11-24 11:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by *Smiley* 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That sounds like a very uncomfortable experience. No, they should send you a thank you note. But don't expect one because they sound like rude people. The mom should have told you she was a veggy. I can understand the hug thing but you obviously went out of your way to make these people comfortable and they just weren't. Don't sweat over it!!!!
2007-11-24 11:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by countrygirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I find hugs a very personal thing (I'm not a touchy feely person) and find them somewhat awkward.
You tried to findout about thier special diets before hand , so you did alright there.
It could still turn out to be a great friendship that lasts for many years , so try being a good host again , they may worm up to you , they may not , all you can do is try.
They may be used to a differant style of celibration and I'm sure they didn't know what to expect.
2007-11-24 11:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by Robert F 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I wonder why you would send a thank you note as they were your guests and it is strange she did not mention she was vegy before hand. obviously they are not a very demonstrative family.
No you should not send a thank you not but you could write a short note saying you were sorry she was not able to eat and that if she had warned you you would have done her some thing different. it is certainly up to them to say thank you if they want to stay on good terms.
2007-11-24 11:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by Mim 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very delightful of you to even think of sending a thank-you to the other party involved. Yet, I don't think you should anymore. You have been kind and all. They should be the ones sending one to you after your friendly efforts.
I admire your humble personality but know the limits and be aware. Other people might just take you for granted. I hope not 'coz you're not worthy of such. =) Take care!
2007-11-24 11:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by sweetpau_27 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not the one to send the thank you note...she is.And if you didn't really know these people that good then you shouldn't have been hugging them.Not everyone likes to be hugged...especially when they don't know someone very well.They shouldn't have asked to have food to take home with them if they couldn't eat it when they were at your place either.
2007-11-24 11:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Janell T 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no.. you are not obligated to send thank you note, some people are not as appreciative as others so i don't usually expect anything in return after giving ? but a simple " THANK YOU " would be nice to hear from them when they were living your house ?...hugging .. some people are not really comfortable to be hug.... but you learned & live!!!! i'll give you good credit for being a great host !!!
2007-11-24 11:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by lovely 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋