Is he fully committed?

Question

My bf and i are engaged. We have been engaged fo a moth or so but i have been seeing some things that i think means he not fully committed to me. I was cleaning up the house and i saw he had a playgirl magzine and some other porno mags. I got frustrated and i asked him. Then of course we had sex. The next day i wanted him to stay home and help me do some chores because i'm pregant but he said playing football with his friends is a lot more important. Another time i asked him if he could wash the dishes and he said he was tired and he didn't have to work or even cook. Are these signs to me that he is not fully committed not only to me but the baby? will he respect me more if i let him have more sex with me?

Answer 1

It sounds to me that he is not ready to be in a relationship with anyone seriously. The signs are there that you will be doing all the housework by yourself. If you want to be under his thumb, and wait on him hand and foot, then stay with him. If not you should leave him. Letting him have sex with you more is not the answer. I suggest you ask him just what he wants from this relationship. If he says he has no proclem with the way it is now, get out. It sounds to me like he will not change his ways. Good Luck to you.

Answer 2

I would not worry about the porn magazines at all. Look at them with him and tell him to show you waht he likes. After you have the baby and recover, you can always role play and dress up like the girls in the book! Every woman needs to be a little freaky for their man. A man likes a freak and will get it outside of a comittment if he doesn't get it at home. As far as the lazy part....that is just not going to change. You are seeing how he is now and that is the real him. Have a heart to heart talk and perhaps you all can share responsibilities in the home. As far as friends and hanging out with them, let him go out with his friends and play football. It is not more important. A man and a woman both need some independence to have a fulfilled life. As long as he is not out all night or having disrespectful friends over it is ok. Have his friends come over and bring their girlfriends. You ladies can get to know each other and the men can go outside and play football or you ladies could watch. Overall, join in everything, allow some indepence, and talk about sharing the chores! Communication is 1/2 the work! Good luck!

Answer 3

Sex is not the answer. You're pregnant; how can someone who really loves you put his tiredness from not working, his football friends, and the rest of his selfish self before you and your baby?? He doesn't seem to respect and appreciate what you're doing and going through. So, no he doesn't seem to be fully committed to you. And as TheOnlyBeldin brought up, Playgirl??? Is he gay too?? I'm not sure what you can do here. Perhaps you can talk to him, tell him what you think, and hear what he has to say. If he doesn't bother changing or putting you and your baby as a top priority, perhaps you should reconsider having him too close in your life, esp. in one of marriage.

Answer 4

sex has nothing to do with these issues honey..

non of these things mean that he isnt commited to you! it only means that he isnt commited enough.. being commited comes from understanding each other well and long time knowing one another.
you should sit and talk to him about ur concerns and tell him that being engaged and having a baby together means alittle sacrifice from both sides and that u expect him to do his part of the work..
see how he reacts to it..
if he takes it well and tries to change then great, but if he says yeah yeah and then does nothing about it, then i think u should re-think where ur relationship with this guy is going coz trust me, him being irresponsible will cause problems between the two of you and eventually, ull have more frequent fights.
trust me, u dont want to raise your baby in a potential danger zone full of fights..
it'll be best for you and your baby to be alone then with a father who doesnt help around even a bit.. the next thing u'll know is that ur taking care of two children instead of one and that'll tire you even more!

so share your concerns with him and hope for the best..
i personally think that having an empty glass is way better then having a glass full of crap if you know what i mean ?! :)

Answer 5

This is just the situation I'm trying to help people not get in to. He is possibly a slave to porn and using others to fulfill his desires....You got pregnant and now don't feel loved by him....See this guy is actually in love with the girls in his magazines and pretending you are they...He may never have sex with you but the girls in the books.....You are in a bad way I would say....It might not even last.....Now a baby is on the way.....the poor little thing will not come to a loving christian home with mom and dad in love.
You can either put up with this for life or go to a home and have the baby and put it up for adoption and start over or live in the hell you are in....
But please pray a lot and repent of sin and be a Christian and walk with Jesus in this life, doing his will. Things will turn out a lot better for you.
If you choose to stay with this guy get into a good church that is teaching the bible and where you can live for close to Jesus. Start going to bible studies and learn about the Lord's will for you....Before long you will have a child to raise and think about. That child needs to learn of the Lord's way and be taught to follow Jesus.
There is a difference in love and lust.....Because a guy wants sex a girl thinks it is love when it is really just lust and any hole will do for the most part.....

Answer 6

I don't think the porn mags are a big deal cause just about every guy has one but if playing football with his friends is more important than helping the mother of his child then there are definatly questions that need to be answered BEFORE you get married. You shouldn't have to resort to bribing him with sex to get his help and attention. You need to have a long talk and tell him you won't get married unless he shows you he is mature enough to handle being a husband and a father. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Sex is not the answer to ur problem. and as far as commitment is concerned i think he seems to have a very I DONT CARE attitude towards u n da baby. The fact that ur pregnant n he's da least bit interested says it all.
I suggest u talk it out with him. Tell him how u feel abt u being pregnant and he not helping. try talkin cooly. N if u c no improvment i guess u gotta say gudbye or live like dis 4da rest of ur life.

Answer 8

First of all, you never get more respect out of sex! It's not that he is not fully committed, guys willalways have porn material, either mags or videos. It worries me however that he is not helpful around the house even thought your are pregnant. He is not being considerate to you, and trust me, if he thinks playing ball with his buddies is more important now it will not change in the future. Talk to him and lay the law lady, be strong.

Answer 9

well finding the pron magazines is not a big deal. Well to me its not but it might be to you. Your Boyfriend should help you around the house.... Giving more sex is not what you should do because that will make him realize that he can have it when he wants.. you are letting him have comtrol over you... Dont let him do that.. you need to stand up for yourself...tell him that you are living in this house to and that he needs to help you out... if he doesnt then he is not ready to get married or even take care of a new baby.. i think that you have alot to think about .... Good Luck!

Answer 10

no....sex is never the answer!! and your pregnant. just take a step back and ask yourself if this is what you want. Obviously he is very immature and in no way ready for marriage when he is putting his friends ahead of you. you should have a very long conversation with him and see how it goes, if it isnt positive then you should call the engagement off...i know a little drastic but it will help.