How can I forgive someone who has committed a mortal sin against my family?

Question

This woman has stolen what little money we had. Thout shall not steal? This money was to buy food, pay our mortgage, buy Christmas presents for our 8 yr old son. The police won't get involved because it's considered a "business deal gone bad". She cashed a check written over 7 months ago that was to have been destroyed. Yes we know we should have put a stop payment but we knew her and trusted a little old Catholic woman. Anyway, I am so very angry and disappointed and hurt. Not to mention hungry and cold. We are a family of working poor. I know that God will forgive her if she asks but I am being eaten up with anger that someone could and would do this. It has shaken up my faith in humanity and that makes me so sad.

Can anyone give me a prayer or a book or advice to sooth my soul? (Yes, we will be filing in Small Claims court in 2 days.)

Mr. Barney, actually now we probably will have to cancel it. Besides, this just happened yesterday.

Many thanks to all of you!!! Tears are pouring down my face as I read your answers. You have reminded me that there still are good people left in this world. We shall get through this. Merry Christmas.

Answer 1

Psalm 9:9-10 - "The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee."

Matthew 6:14-15 - "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

While I think she should have called you and told you she was going to cash this check before she did it, you really need to lay this in the Lord's hands now, trusting that He is aware of your needs and will supply them. I will be praying that the Lord give you peace and comfort during this difficult time you and your family are going through. God bless you!!!

Lovingly,
Virginia

Answer 2

you have been given some very good scriptural answers on so far.
It is hard to forgive, especially when we think of forgiveness as condoning or accepting as okay what a person has done.
What this person has done is not okay- it was wrong and it was sinful- ultimately, however, it was a sin against God and He can deal with her heart better than you or any small claims court ( I am not saying not to pursue justice- this route is fine, however, it is not going to be the thing that changes her heart though it can be used as a tool)
Forgiveness is a must though, at this point your anger and hurt over this issue are not in any way affecting her- it is eating you up, affecting your choices, it is making you miserable. You might not realize it but you are putting this person in the place of God, you are letting this person be lord over your emotions, your identity and your choices.
Know this, all things work together for good for those that love the Lord. This may be a really hard time- but do you believe that God IS God? Can He take this situation to teach you and your family something? Pray, ask Him what it is that oyu can learn and gain from this, pray for this woman, obviously she is hurting and has some serious issues- is it more important that vengeance is sought or is it more important that she be healed, come to a saving knowledge of the Lord and never do something like this again? Ask God to help you to forgive her, ask God how to pray for her and ask God to give you discernment in future dealings with people. Then , in this time of need, trust that God will provide for you and your family- He will send someone to help take care of your needs.
Take this woman off of the throne of God in your heart- go to her at small claims court and tell her you have forgiven her, lay her deeds at the cross for God to deal with and seek your comfort, provision and strength from the very one that created you and knew you before you were born- from the very one that created her and knew her before she was born- from the only one that can bring deliverance and healing to both of you.

Answer 3

My DEAR, You must forgive this Person, Or God says He can't Forgive us. However, If you find it impossible to forgive her...Then you must ASK God to put the Forgiveness In your Heart....And He will. You may not forget it ever, But you will know that you have truly forgiven When It no longer "Hurts" to think about it. God will Bless you and Provide all your needs If you will lean On Him. HE LOVES YOU, and does not want you to have a Troubled Heart. Trust HIM. LET HIM SHOW YOU. I will Surely Remember to Pray for You & Your Family Daily.


<> Victorious Prayer Warrior<>

Answer 4

You have \my deepest sympathy. Something similar has happened to me. When someone you trust has broken that trust it really hurts. However if you allow it to consume you then you are now allowing that same person to have control over you. Matt.6 in the Lords prayer, in part it says "Forgive us our debt as we also have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; whereas if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive YOUR trespasses. In other words, you must forgive that person even though it hurts so much, if you want God to forgive you. Also you will be doing this for you and your family. That way you can have peace in your heart and can move on to find the solution.

Answer 5

First and above all, pray. Pray for her, pray that God reach down and bring her to repentance, and that He reach down and help heal your hurting heart. It becomes impossible to be angry with one we are praying for, and you will find forgiveness to come sooner.

I would also pray and see if the Lord wants yo to file this in court, or if this filing would only be revenge. Is God using this to make you lean on Him and trust in Him.

My family does not have much to spare either, and when my mother died, the condo she owned, and my disabled brother lived with her in, was to be sold an split between us. Not long before her death, my brother had her quick claim the property to him. It has been two years, and he has made it quite clear that he believe he should have it all anyway because he is disabled. This was very hard for my sister and I, who also struggles, to take, but we did. God has provided what we have needed, including a safe car to drive, and food and friends.

I undestand you are angry. It is natural for you to be. Just make sure you pray and pray and pray some more for God to guide you in this matter. Make Christmas about Jesus, not presents. Make it about love, and family, and being together. You'll be amazed.

I will be in prayer for you.

Love,
Sue

Answer 6

Don H mentions A Course in Miracles (ACIM), and i will tell You what it taught me about forgiveness. It sounds nuts, but i promise that it worked for me when nothing else would.

In Your imagination, go to this little old woman You once trusted, and ask HER to forgive YOU. I'll leave the rest of that to Your imagination.

The first thing You will notice is that You don't want to do this. SHE should be asking forgiveness! SHE is the one who sinned! Well, remember, this is not about HER. SHE will never know You did this. It's about You and about release from emotions that are natural and just but they HURT, and they don't hurt HER; they hurt YOU. So try this little exercise anyway.

Blessings!

Answer 7

I'm certainly not justifying what she did, but the fact that she waited so long to do it makes me wonder if she was acting out of desperation. Lots of old people are on fixed incomes which don't make ends meet.

But the real thing is, as you are learning, that forgiveness is more for the forgiver than the forgiven. Not forgiving is much more harmful to you than it is to her. Your forgiving her never makes it right for what she did, just relieves you of the burden of holding the anger in your heart.

And if Christ could forgive his crucifiers, can we do any less?

Answer 8

It would be hard to forgive, but one must or this keeps eating at you. I have a small problem with my husband's sister, and I am hoping this year for Christmas she will not say what she says most the time to make me mad. If she does I am going to have to talk to her and just lay it out for her. Forgiving is so hard to do, but if we do not it lets in bitterness and when bitterness takes root it brings forth bad fruit from us.

Answer 9

Hon, You must forgive this person. It will eat YOU alive and you will not accomplish anything.

Please contact a local church and explain your situation. I assure you they can and will help. Come back to your family (Your God family) Let the family help. they will even help get a few Christmas gifts for your child.

Don`t let bitterness get to you. Remember that what you put out comes back. let God handle this one. I assure you, God spanks very hard...I am praying for you and your family.. Blessings

† Lonestar Prayer Warrior-ess <>< †

Answer 10

I would just concentrate on the court case and try not to think about anything else. Easier said than done, of course. Sometimes it's a hard lesson to learn that, even when you think you can trust someone, you really need to watch out for yourself first. I guess you should have asked her to bring the check back to you so you could destroy it yourself.