Is there any way I can teach my toddler appropriate voice level?

Question

This may be a really silly question but I'm really having issues with my son. [He'll be two in February.] He's a loud boy. He talks very loud and when he's happy everyone knows. Now, it wouldn't be an issue if we never went anywhere but we do. For example, in the grocery store when he's just talking to me his voice level is so loud we get looks but he's not being bad--he's just talking. Last night we were at Olive Garden and again he was talking loudly. He's not being bad and I honestly don't think he realizes how loud he's talking but it's driving me crazy! LOL!

So, how do I teach him to speak in a normal voice? We play the 'shhh...' game all the time where we all sit around the table whispering but it only lasts so long. So, are there any solutions or is my son bound to be loud for a while yet? I feel awful when I punish him because he isn’t being bad per-say he’s just talking and doesn't realize that he's being loud. However, at this point I'm willing to try anything.

Thanks!!

Of course I've explained to my son that you are quiet inside and loud outside. He is still young yet though and if I don't point it out he doesn't realize how loud he's being. Even after explaining sometimes he is still loud.

Answer 1

Have you tried telling him he's loud and to talk quietly? lol. He's not stupid, he's a toddler, he doesnt know when, how, and why.

If you know his hearing is not an issue, teach him the right way to use his voice.

Tell him that we have to use inside voices when we're out at the store or out eating. Teach him what an indoor voice sounds like, show him how other people use indoor voices (point out others around him who are talking at a normal tone.) and then correct him when he doesnt use an indoor voice.

Answer 2

I understand you completely. My daugther speaks very loudly all the time. That's the normal level of her voice. We didn't have a problem with that till our second daugther was born 6 weeks ago. Then we started realizing how loud she actually is. She's been having hard time ever since because the baby stays in the same room with us and all my older daugther hears is "Shhh, be quiet! Your baby sister is sleeping!" My poor girl, she is 4 years old and we have heard her say to herslef: "I can't speak loud in the living room, I can't speak loud in the bedroom - where can I speak loud?!" It's good that she isn't resentful to her sister yet for being the reason for those limitations. And she is a good child - she does "turn the volume down" when we ask her. Actually we made a game out of it and it worked. I told her that I have an invisible remote control that can turn down he volume of her voice. I pretend that I hold it in my hand, I direct it at her and pretend to press the button that adjusts the volume. She laughs and starts speaking in a softer voice. But I can't encourage you too much because I don't think there is a fast solution to your problem. I think this is just a matter of temperament and it is permanent. I believe our children will learn to control it some day but even my daugther that is 4 is still too young for that and forgets it all the time. I probably repeat a hundred times a day to her to be quiet. And I take her out in the park where she can speak loudly as much as she wants.

Answer 3

Have you had his ears checked? If he does not realize how loud he is talking than he is pobably talking loud enough to hear himself. When my boyfriend who has ear problems and tubes starts talking loud and having the TV and such turned up loud I know it is time to see the EMT again.


If everything checks out fine I would just be consistant with saying indoor voices and demonstrating that to him, My son gets loud too but I get down so that I am looking at his face eye level and I talk low and calmly to him and that seems to work in lowering his voice.

Answer 4

A kid is a kid.. you can teach him a "inside" voice and an 'outside' voice but he is a baby not even a toddler yet!
People should understand its a baby and respond appropriately; they are the adults after all. Most people listening to a baby usually starts laughing or they just ignore .. there are a few grinches that will frown but they are the type to frown at kids in general just grumpy people period.

Answer 5

Play this game:

Say "inside voice" or "quiet voice" in a normal, quieter voice level than your son speaks. Have him repeat it. Then, say "outside voice" or "loud voice" in a loud voice level. Have him repeat it. Then, if he is too loud. Tell him in a quiet tone to speak in his "inside" or "quiet" voice.

Hope it works!

Answer 6

You can't punish him for having a naturally loud voice....just keep up the "shhh...and say in a quiet voice....use your inside voice" and eventually he will start to understand. It just times time and patience!

Answer 7

Have you had his hearing checked. You said that he doesn't seem to know he is speaking loudly. Maybe doesn't. You may not realize it because he seems to hear you. Small children are very adaptable. If he has been having hearing trouble for years, he has learned to compensate for it in some way. He might even be reading lips.

Answer 8

I noticed my children did this when they entered school - they had to compensate for all the noise in the classroom.

Play the whisper game. Speak to him softer than you normally would so that he has to come close to hear you. He might tone it down the closer he is to your ears. And yes, have his hearing checked just in case. Good luck.

Answer 9

Part of learning to talk is learning to control the volume of one's voice. Your son is not being loud on purpose, but rather because he's learning to talk and hasn't mastered that control yet. Gently remind him to use his "indoor" voice, and let it run its course. He'll learn as he gets older.

Answer 10

if they are intersted in it keep going but not do not force