Need counselling but I am scared they will take away my baby?

Question

I have been in a bad relationship with violence and also have been suicidal. I wanted to get counselling but I am scared if I tell them how messed up I am they will take away my baby. to be completely honest though I do not know if I am a danger to her but I do not want her to go into care or something.

Thanks for all the answers. I will not choose a best answer because there were many thoughtful responses.

Answer 1

Consider what your baby needs. If you are a potential risk to your baby, it is very unfair not to put her in a safe environment until you are able to take care of her. She could be in danger. You aren't sure if you are or not, so I think you could be. Considering the needs of your child is the responsible and loving thing to do.

Answer 2

Hi im not sure where you live but in the uk a counsellor only has a legal requirement to report it to there supervisor if a child is being abused and you have addmitted you are doing so ,the supervisor then has to inform the police and if you also said you were going off to kill your self they would have the right to do so,but its not a legal requirement.
I feel counselling would be very helpfull for you right now,and your daughter wont be taken into care,when your feeling low its not unusual to have feelings of how your going to cope, have you visited your GP? and talked about how you have been feeling? this would be a good idea
And try and use as much support as you have around if you do to help with you and your daughter,to give you a rest-Its not easy being a mum at the best of times!
take care ,stay well and it will be allright

Answer 3

Oyy Muppet!! Its easy for others to say think of the baby first, but that don't mean you have to go place your baby in danger of being taken into care. Care is not a good place for any child! And those so-called professionals, whom may be assessing you, may make a bad call, bad judgment, and you and your child could be screwed!

So take it easy, there are many sources of help out there, lots are totally independent, and will need not know anything about your personal life. The degree of your illness can not be assessed by you alone, but if you have the capability of asking for help, your clearly able to make decisions of importance. That includes your child.

Take one step at a time, go to some local counseling and group meetings, just keep it light to start with and seek help gently, keep assessing your progress as you begin to meet and converse with people exactly in your position.

You may fine pleasantly, that there are many others just like you, and that mental illness can be rationalized. Think you alone though, and you will continue to hurt x

Answer 4

Anyone who has been abused can very likely get some benefit from supportive counselling. Especially if suicidal ideas are hassling you too.

Many counsellors have a legal and professional responsibility to report people who are a threat to themselves or others. Perhaps they will assess you as no danger to your child if you have no real problems in that area. Getting help may actually be a factor in you being trusted with your child as they monitor your situation.

Ask around anonymously first for the policy of child welfare and community/counselling groups in your type of situation.

Answer 5

I do not think they will take away your baby if you get counselling.

To be honest I think they would be more likely to take a child away if you don't get help.

Getting help is a good sign that you are being a responsible parent and looking after your own welfare and the welfare of your child.

It takes quite serious circumstances for a child to be taken away.

You being 'messed up' will be very unlikely to mean your child would be taken away.

Please get the counselling for the sake of yourself and your child. Anyone who is suicidal tends to get worse without help. You need help so you can get better and be a good mum to your child.

Seeing a counsellor will help you to be a better parent and to keep your child. Counselling will not result in you having a child taken away.

Answer 6

If you go for private counseling (psychiatrist or psycologist) and not a public clinic, there are only two things that are not 100% confidential: any indication that you are a threat to yourself or other people. You might want to go to therapy and ease your way into it. Find someone you feel comfortable with and start slow with what you tell him/her. You will see that most things don't shock them and are confidential. Be honest about what's going on with you to get the most help, but if you feel like what you tell them might have them take your baby away, don't tell them. I may get a thumbs down, but I know that a caring mother who has some problems is ten times better than foster care ANY DAY. And at least you know you have problems and want to deal with them.

Answer 7

I can not imagine losing a child. I am so very sorry for you. Most of the responses here are very good and I would take the advice. Telling your parents is a good thing to do, you need the support, from them and maybe a support group. We all get over heartache, but we all remember, your loss will always be there but we go on. You mentioned that you lost the first baby to meningitis. Meningitis is a virus that is highly contagious and is spread by infected people. Once your baby is born, keep the wee one safe by limiting visitors and or outings. He/she will be fine. God Bless You

Answer 8

They might not do this. If you are providing loving and nurturing toward her than I dont think that they will do this because I know some people that needed to go to a safe place and get help for theirselves or even go to a counselor and felt like you do and they havent taken away their children. If you arent in an abusive relationship they shouldnt should I say but if you are then your child is in danger and then they might be.

Answer 9

Check out suicidal thoughts, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and print/copy hotlines & email addresses, trying some first, before seeking counselling. The fact that you are actively seeking help for your problems, and have a source of help at home, means they will not consider removing your baby from you. Because suicidal ideation is often related to depression, I have included the following: See depression treatments, at ezy-build in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his partner, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, as well, at http://www.mercola.com and avoid antidepressants (page 2V refers, & antidepressant websites: page 2). All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including others as options, such as herbal remedies. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even many weeks to become effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, in which case I'd take them). Also see www.drdrew.com on abuse.

Answer 10

They would only consider taking your child if the child has been mistreated or neglected. I am sure you are a loving caring parent who makes sure your child is well cared for despite other domestic situations. Don't worry about what has not happened yet but rather get on with being the great person and parent that you truly are. Good luck