Feeling very guilty?

Question

My mom let me buy a few things off of the internet, but I bought about $40 worth of more stuff. I don't know why I did, but now I feel really bad. Should I tell her? I thought I would just sort of sneak the money into her purse or something, although I wouldn't be comming clean. I'm think I'm going to return the stupid extra items that I bought as soon as they come in the mail.

I just added it up and it's actually around $80 that I owe her. Ah crap.

I'm positive she has the $80 in her bank account.

Answer 1

Admit what you did right away. She may not have the extra $40 in her checking/savings/ or available on the credit card you used! It could end up costing her a wad of cash in fees. Just tell her you lost your head for a moment, messed up and bought some extra stuff, but the guilt is eating you up and you realize that you could have messed up her finances. Tell her how bad you feel and that you will return the stuff the minute it arrives. She'll respect you for being honest and telling her yourself. She'll also respect that you considered, even after the fact, that it could have messed up her other finances. She'll definitely go more easy on you then if you let her find out next week when the order arrives or she gets a notice that she's overdrawn on an account. Even if money isn't an issue, she'll still appreciate that you thought of that and were concerned enough to fess up.
I would also check the order and see if it has shipped. Many places will let you change an order right up until it ships out. It can't hurt to try. Even if you get the order changed you will still have to fess up because they will probably already have billed your moms card and will have to do a partial refund for the order change. She's still see the charge anyways.

Answer 2

Just own up to your mom and tell her that you made a mistake and got carried away. At least you know that you messed up and the mature thing to do is to tell her. Don't sneak around as that will only make things worse. By trying to cover up you get more bogged down and then you will have a problem being trusted. She may not be so mad that you made a mistake but if you try and lie and cover up then that would really be upsetting to her. Besides she may already know or it's certain that she'll find out. If that happens then she'll feel even worse if she felt that you were deceitful rather than simply admitting you made an error in judgment. Tell her how bad you feel and that you'll make it up to her. By coming clean and being honest you won't have the added guilt to carry around and the whole thing can be cleared up. Realize that, besides being your mom, she's also human too and she's also made a few mistakes of her own during the course of her life. So don't underestimate her capacity for forgiveness and understanding and above all, you're her daughter who she will love-no matter what.

Answer 3

Yes, tell her right away. Don't make the mistake of trying to "sneak" the money into her purse. Tell her before the items arrive. Keep your explanation short, sincere, and to the point. You can say something like, "Mom, I got carried away when I was ordering on the Internet and I clicked on more than I was supposed to. I am going to return those items without opening them. I'm very sorry, and I won't do it again." Tell her that you will pay the shipping charges, because you will still have to pay those when you return the items. You are doing the right thing by telling your mother immediately. You don't want to damage her trust in you. The fact that you feel guilty indicates that you have a conscience! Good luck, and stay honest.

Answer 4

I understand what you're saying. Happened to me in a bookstore once. I needed a book for my creative writing class and when I got it, I also found a few other books that I liked. I asked if I could get them, expecting she'd say no but she said. I didn't calculate the prices correctly though, and it ended up being $58.... O_O it was only 4 books though... they've gotten expensive.

Anyway, the point of me recollecting my own experience is that eventually that feeling goes away. I think I know that feeling... you feel like you took advantage of her kindness and maybe you don't feel like you did anything to earn that. I know that feeling, eventually it goes away, usually within a few days. However, I must say that if it doesn't go away, I would suspect that there may be an underlying problem. There may be something that happened in your relationship, or maybe beyond, that's making you feel guilty now. Maybe you bottled up that feeling, and now it's pouring out through what seems, to me at least, something rather insignificant.

If you're comfortable doing it, maybe you should show this question to your mom and explain why you asked it here. That could be a lead to the conversation, and it may uncover deeper, subconscious, unresolved issues. If you're not comfortable however, which I can understand especially if you're a teen like me, then go to your dad. If not comfortable with him, try an aunt/uncle or a sibling maybe. If none of those, try an extended family member, a family friend, one of your own friends, or a teacher. There's a lot of resources, whether you realize it or not, and I sincerely hope that you can realize that you're not alone.

Hope this helps. Let me know how things go for you. Good luck and I wish you all the best :)

Answer 5

YES you should tell her! It doesn't matter if you sneak it back into her purse or not, since you "stole" 40 bucks from her account that she wasn't planning on spending it may cause her to overdraft. Fat lot of good that money is doing sitting in her purse! Tell her you screwed up & bought more than you should have then ask if she wants you to return the extra items when they get here, or consider it a Christmas gift that she didn't have to shop for. No matter what though, you need to tell her.

Answer 6

In all honesty, you'll feel so much better if you be honest with your mother and tell her the truth. We all make mistakes but do learn from them. I am a mother of 3. If it were me it would mean so much to have my child no matter how old apologize for making a mistake or admitting they were wrong. I've always taught my children that they won't get in as much trouble if they tell the truth. If they're dishonest and I catch them, there will be stricter consequences than if they were to tell the truth. You also could ask if there was anything you could do to earn the money to pay her back. That's a nice gesture. Good luck.

Answer 7

You should tell her right now! Depending on what you purchased and where, she may be able to cancel some of it. You will feel a lot better, and sleep better, when you come clean. Take your punishment, apologize, and consider yourself smarter for doing it. Everyone learns this lesson. Even adults sometimes compulsively spend and then regret it. It's just a life lesson.

Answer 8

You need to be honest with her as soon as you can. She'll feel better knowing that you owned up to what you did. Then the two of you can decide what to do: give her the extra money, earn it, or return the extra items.
I know it's embarrassing but it's better to be honest; then you can fix it.

Answer 9

well its hard cuz u dont want to get in trouble but the right thing would be do tell ur mom and tell her that u are sending the items back and u will repay her. thats the responsible thing...she might be mad for a day or so but she will get over it! Good Luck!

Answer 10

I think your mom would be proud if you hand the money to her. Just explain to her that you purchase more than you should. Let her know how much you appreciate for allowing you to order on the internet. Just be honest with your mom. God bless