Why won't this get any farther?

Question

this a follow up to a previous question of mine, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArBjXYXT987_8K9ZA8.UpQDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071109185145AAsPQMP
Before I talk to him, i'm just a little nervous (but this apprehension goes away once he responds) I look forward to talking to him. After talking to him, I always feel like we've had a good conversation, and we always end up talking for 2, 3 hours. I always get a good feeling and like we have a connection, but I don't understand why he doesn't seem to show any initiative to be my friend. i even invited him to an event at my school (i asked him indirectly, because i didnt want it to seem awkward) , but he didn't seem too interested to go. If I see him(which is not often), its a little awkward because I always feel nervous, and I'm always the one to say hello first. I don't understand how we can get along so well online, and have great conversations (I don't talk to anyone else I know in the same way) but he still doesnt seem to care

he doesnt just give one word answers, he actually listens and talks

Answer 1

Hi Sakura,
It's hard to say exactly what's going on here. But it does sound a little dissappointing. You can get some positive vibes from him but you get a lot of negative too. You'd like it to go farther but he seems happy with an on-line relationship. I'm not sure if there's much you can do about this. Some peoples hearts are locked up. They feel affection and attraction to others, you can feel it from him when you talk to him on line. But they can't ever seem to close the deal(this is the frustration you feel) or validate their feelings. I know this from first hand experience.
I think he likes you but he's having a hard time admitting it or doing anything about it. My advice would be to back off and let him initiate the conversation for once. This advice is hard to take I know because you don't want to let go. A part of this makes you feel good and you don't want to loose that. And you're afraid that if you let it go it may not come back to you. This is a possibility. But holding onto this erodes your self esteem because you're in a relationship where you're not sure if you're wanted. Feeling wanted is important. Believe it or not, you're a great person and you deserve to be wanted. And I'll bet there're a lot of guys out there who want to be with you.
But like I said before, follow your heart and do what you think is right. Stay with this as long as you want. One of two things will happen, your perserverance will pay off and you'll get this guy or your frustration will get the better of you and you'll say "forget this, I'm outta here". But you will learn something from your failure, and you'll not repeat the same mistake twice. Trying and failing is better than not trying at all, as long as you learn from your errors.

Answer 2

When you say you "always end up talking for 2, 3 hours" don't you mean YOU talk and all you get from him are occasional brief words such as "yeah", "probably", "maybe", "uh-huh", "what?", "I guess so", "I don't know", and "huh?".

If HE is talking for 2-3 hours, then he is not going to ignore you when you see him. Guys simply do not TALK that long -- they will listen that long while they are playing games on their computer, watching TV, etc. while they wait for the girl to finally run down and hang up -- they don't want to hurt the girl's feelings.

Answer 3

Lots of guys do this.
It's easier for them to chat on a computer than to make conversation face-to-face.

It may have to do with his age/your age, his personality, or that he's just a guy who sees you as a friend.

If he's shy in person, that could be why...and if so, he may really like you but be nervous too.

Maybe he feels like he doesn't see you enough in person to really connect with you b/c you go to different schools?

Or might just be a jerk who acts like your friend online, but likes to ignore you in person.

I hope this helped....try to explain the details of the situation better?
If you really like him, keep talking to him unless you think he's not really your friend.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

um think of that's merely too some distance once you insult people for his or her comfortable issues, like disabiltiy or that somebody cheated on them. Ya, comprehend like "low blows" too some distance whilst your "hitting under the belt"

Answer 5

well i think you should leave it at that talk and be done he should make the first move not you if he says nothin when you walk by dont say anything just talk on the internet and if he says hello start talkin