Here's the deal. I was told that my friend "JJ" was getting married. I had been having sexual relations with JJ for almost 5 yrs. It has never been a serious relationship or anything but I have deep feelings for him and he knows it. He tells me that he cares about me alot but that he cant commit because he has seen alot of failed marriages in his family. Anyways, 2 weeks before they told me that he wa getting married I had asked him if he was seeing or talking to someone else and he told me "no". Now, I dont know what to think about this news, what should i do?? I love him so much but yet at the same time I know that all he does is keep hurting me. Why do I allow myself such hurt?
2007-11-23 14:19:39 · 16 answers · asked by Sandy H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think this is bigger than what anyone on Yahoo can answer, and honestly, the answer to that can only come from you. May I gently suggest that you find a sympathetic counselor to help you through this crisis and maybe find a way to move on from "JJ". You deserve to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone who is there for you and all about you.
Before you are ready for that though, you do need to find out why you would let someone treat you like that for so long and get away with it.
Please remember, what you are experiencing with JJ is NOT LOVE, although you think it is. Please go find out why you think this twisted relationship equals love in your mind.
2007-11-23 14:26:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going through many feelings with this.
First off JJ is my sons half brother, and has been married for a long time now. He isn't the Best man for you.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free....is an old saying that still holds true.
Cry a lot. Some attention is better than none is what it seems you are after.
Find another more honest "friend".
It is rare to find a Friend in a bar(or similar)..........try church gatherings.
2007-11-23 22:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by LandOfMisty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad, some people are like tht and it's just sad. You may want to find out where the wedding is and when they ask if anyone has an objection, speak up and tell them why and then ask his bride to be if she knew. If she tels you yes, then he will be back, if she looks shocked, then you may get him and she's the only one he messed with. On the other hand you may want to cut your loses and just try and see someone else, but for 5 years, no he must really care for you. If she's rich or something maybe that's why he is dong it. but you may regret not doing it and then again not. Sorry that's all I can tell you, but if you feel that much then just do it, like the basketball showe commerical. Hey what yo got to lose, nothing, but do it with dignity and like a lady. Take care.
2007-11-23 22:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be glad you are not his fiance. He is a predator. This is the kind of man that seeks out ladies with low self esteem and preys on them. He gets off on your tears and pain. You need to get a back bone and some self respect , I rather doubt the sex is even that good. Anyways your better off. Push through the pain of this loss and you will come out a strong ,smarter women. A women capable of choosing a man to have a relationship with.
2007-11-23 22:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a low self esteem...how can you even consider him to be a friend at all...he was obviously using you....he's been having sexual relationships with you but developing a relationship based on lies with his fiance. I'm not sure which of you I feel sorry for.....at least you are aware of what a slime he is and you (I hope) won't consider jumping in the sack with him after he is married...and hopefully his fiance will come to her senses on her own or with help that her soon to be husband is a real catch.
2007-11-23 22:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by i_b_winkn_at_u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably really love him and try to ignore all the bad things he's done to you because it's someone who you love and wouldn't possibly keep hurting you.
He's getting married, and he doesn't love you the way you love him. You deserve better and to be treated better. move on, go out and get some time for yourself and have fun.
2007-11-23 22:43:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a Liar, a Bounder and a Cad and you ... a "fool" for being his sex-object.
Run don't walk to the nearest EXIT and don't look back UNLESS you are indeed a ... fool with no sense of Self respect or dignity?
You asked ... now I told you.
Respect yourself!
2007-11-23 22:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the sex has bonded you to him.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from this guy. You're too valuable to waste your time.
You've learned a lot of experiences, which you can use in your next relationship.
2007-11-23 22:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by zeal4him 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you feel like you deserve it... you have no self respect.... when you have a little love for yourself you won't let anybody treat you bad or hurt you.
You set up yourself for that... you have no serious relationship you're a booty call for him... he will never accept that he lied to you.
2007-11-23 22:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guy are just thinking with their d*** and will not let go a sexual r'ship if they have... why do they need to tell the truth when the lie is what u are happy with... i suggest that you need to really leaave him and go away from his life... if not, he will hurt u more and more... please safe urself from this cruel man... its better to hurt once (by leaving him totally) than to be hurt by him again and again
2007-11-23 22:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by jinnui 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋