Is it wrong to feel resentment or envy towards and younger student?

Question

I have been doing MA for 3 yrs now and still have alot to learn. I pride myself in learning all I can both physically and mentally towards MA. A younger student that started a yr ago has just recieved the belt below mine and I feel resentment towards this young man for doing his best. Should I just doing the minimum to get the belt or should value MA as I have been doing. I have been doing kenpo jujitsu for those asking.

Answer 1

To be envious is wrong. You should appreciate his efforts and support him. You ask if you should be doing the minimum to get the belt?. That is the wrong attitude. You should be trying your best to push yourself beyond. Why settle for less when you can have more with a little more effort. Keep your personal standards high. The reason he is probably moving up so fast is because he is doing more than just the minimum. We have a saying in our school.."Strength through each other" draw from his strengths and learn from them and he will learn from yours.

Answer 2

Kenpo Jujitsu? Which one?

Anywys, you should help him be better. If there's things you can do to help him be better then do it. You will be better as a result, you may not progress as fast as he does but no matter what he'll always respect you and your opinion because he knows you've been around longer. There's something to be said about longevity you know. I've been in situations like that before but mostly with playing the guitar. Sometimes the other person involved becomes somewhat arrogant, if this is the case and why you feel threatened just be as helpful as you can and always show an extended hand. It's not his fault he doesn't know how to act when he realizes he has a talent for something. That is something taught. Maybe you can help him learn that part.

Answer 3

The real question is this.. is the resentment towards the young man for doing well or is the resentment towards your instructor for his "judgement" of the person.

As someone who has 25+ years I would say it's too early to start feeling that way. You've been taking for 3 years, still just a "baby" in the arts. So while I understand that from your view of the situation it appears one way. From my view there's little difference (if any) in one year and three years. They're both at the beginning with still so far to go.

It's in your perspective, do it because you love it, give it everything, or do nothing at all. The reality is this, the "self defense" payout will never weigh in to balance out the time of training. The years and countless hours spent (if it's just for learning to protect yourself) would be a waste of time. You're better off to take a couple minute beating and move on. So always do your best, it's your time your wasting if you don't. Get something else out of it besides learning how to punch and kick, because time can never be replaced. You can replace money, possesions, even relationships and on occasion people, but never time. Don't waste yours and don't waste your instructors and classmates.

Answer 4

If your instructor grades like mine does, he/she grades on a bit of an "age curve". In other words, a ten year old takes a test that a person of that age could handle, whereas a fifteen year old would take a harder test because someone of that age should be able to handle more responsibility. Getting "outranked" by this younger student may only be a matter of age. You wouldn't want to do the same test for a belt that a younger student did, would you? That only says, "I'm only capable of limited skills." Your teacher probably is holding you to a higher standard, and that's something to be proud of. Remember that ranks are temporary, and a year from now this won't even be an issue.

Answer 5

There are always going to be people who progress faster than you, it's something you're going to have to learn to deal with. I started training Shotokan Karate when I was 6, and I had someone who started a year after me, and someone who started 2 or 3 years after me, and they both got their blackbelts before me. They were my friends, though, and I was proud of them for doing their best and for progressing so quickly. I also had someone who started training about a year and a half before me, and I got my blackbelt first. It all has to do with what you're capable of and what you want to get out of it. I find that the students who are more concerned with testing and getting the next belt are worse off than the ones who focus on getting it right and improving their Karate (or whatever martial art you happen to take). Someone who is only or mainly interested in getting the next belt will do well in the beginning, but when it gets to the point where they actually have to figure out how to be better and they don't just have their instructor telling them every correction, they're going to have a much harder time. So yeah, focus on the actual training, and you'll be fine. Don't worry about the belts, they're not really very important, really they're just a way so the examiner knows how far your training has gotten. (At least with my federation.)

Answer 6

Since when does anyone look better as they get older? A man of 34 will more than likely be a lot more handsome than a man of 64. People should understand though that we all age and we all have our youth. edit: all the men that age usually have a wife. It also depends which social class the man is. I am working class and knew mostly working class people growing up and know some 60 year olds are low paid manual labour workers, like my partner's dad.

Answer 7

usually when people envy someone younger they are really thinking about their own age and maby having some regrets about something they couldn't do. Usualy when people have a problem with you it's their problem not yours, but that goes the same for you, so when you have envy its usually something to do with yourself that you have to deal with

We all get old and eventualy die, it's all about looking to the future and not worrying about what you could and couldn't do in the past but what else is possible before your life comes to an end.

Were all in the same boat here and that young guy is probably going through alot in their life, i think if people can understand that were all going through the same troubles they can make the right choice

Answer 8

dont worry about other peoples progress. Martial arts is a journey of self. A blet dosent really reflect all that much skill. It just says how many techniques youve learned. Grow in your own manner and encourage the young man as well

Answer 9

It's not the right attitude to have, but it's normal. This is one of the many things martial artists try to overcome.
Remember: You're not trying to surpass anyone else. You're trying to do the best you can possibly do. Stay focused on that goal and it will make everything else easier.
Plus, remember the words of Mr Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt is to hold up your pants.

Answer 10

Instead of wasting energy resenting him, strive to surpass him and the others around you. It wastes time and strength to envy or resent, rather you should focus on your own progression. If you work hard, you don't have to worry. If you're not progressing, work harder. The only time once ceases to progress is when he accepts his limits.