because she's having financial problems... she's very difficult to be around as it is. Does anyone have any advice before we make a decision either way?
2007-11-23 14:07:59 · 14 answers · asked by Shana B 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
RUN!!!
2007-11-23 14:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by fnd40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!!! If she is already difficult she will make your husband feel guilty and he will wind up in the middle...not wanting to throw her out and not wanting to have you put up with abuse. Not doing it solves the problem. How old is she? Dave Ramsey has an excellent program for helping people get out of debt by following a plan of learning to use money correctly. Buy her the plan or get the book from the library (free) and help her learn. Enabling her will not solve her problem. Even if you have to give the down payment on a small, cheap apartment it is the best thing to do....
2007-11-23 14:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh no!! There has to be another solution to this. It's hard enough on a marriage to have relatives living with you that you do get on with and that are fantastic, someone who is difficult will have a disasterous affect on your marriage.
Unless there is a time limit put on this stay - and the shorter the better - I don't know how you will be able to cope.
You would have to discuss the type of things that she is usually difficult about - out in the open - before she comes, to establish how these are going to be overcome.
2007-11-23 14:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come up with some rules. What does she do that irritates the sh!t out of you? Everyone of those irritants is a rule.
Ask you husband how long will it take her to get out of her financial problems. If it is too long, tell you husband that you don't think it's a good ideal for her to move in.
That is your home too. You shouldn't have to dread coming home and dealing with your MIL.
2007-11-23 15:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Eye B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in that same situation with my MIL a few years ago. Before you make any decisions, insist on being allowed complete access to her financial records. Find out how much income she has, how much debt she has and what her expenses are. Find out where this debt is coming from. Is it from uninsured medical expenses? Is it from credit cards? Is she living above her means? If she's in debt way over her head and depending on her age and physical condition, bankruptcy might be her only option. Does she have anything she can sell to pay off her debts, like stocks or property? Does your husband have any siblings that could help out? In our family's case, we cancelled all of her credit cards, sold some of her stock to pay off her debts and now she is on a tight budget. She is able to stay where she is, but my husband and each of his six siblings are helping out $150 a month (everybody takes a month). It was tough going and initially she fought it, but no one was going to allow her to move in with them and disrupt their entire family without having a crystal clear picture of what was going on with her finances. Now, after all is said and done, she's happier. She really didn't want to have to move in with any of us and lose her independence and she wanted to be able to stay in the house and neighborhood she's lived in for nearly 40 years.
If she won't allow you to go over her finances beforehand, tell her you won't even consider allowing her to move in with you. This is not an attempt to strong-arm her, but it's only fair to you and your family. You should know completely what you're getting into before you agree to take her in.
2007-11-23 14:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have already tried what you ought to. you have already seen the end result. you have a call. Suck it up.. and enable her camp on your place Have it out along with her... and danger your destiny relatives along with her. the only element i can recommend is that this: you already be attentive to you do not have a call. the toddler-vulture is circling your door. tell her this: we could time table. whilst can we time table you again over? that way, you do no longer ought to knock on our door- and you will constantly see the toddler. tell her the unscheduled aspects of her visits became into inflicting issues.. you're able to truly want to have her... yet are you able to time table? determine you tell her beforehand which you will choose her to flow away at a undeniable time how approximately this? invite her over to flow to once you're making dinner? you have a unfastened babysitter on a similar time as you do chores!!!!! ( i be attentive to somebody's mom in regulation that became into thoroughly and fully unreasonable. no longer a logical bone in her physique. no quantity of reason got here into any decision she EVER made)
2016-09-30 01:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to your husband that he helps your m.i.l to get financial advise. Living with you isn't going to help her, it's going to be a crutch - she needs to learn to sort her own life out and not expect others to pick up the pieces.
2007-11-23 22:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you really don't want her, then be honest with her. You could give her a chance and get it clear to her that she has to be good. If she disobeyes you and starts to annoy you then it is your house right? Do whatever you and your husband want
2007-11-23 14:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by Mozzerella20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow the advice of bvrossg to the letter I you do not you will regret it the rest of your life Its not a threat its a reality
2007-11-23 15:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would say it all depends on how much she does for you if just just makes your lives difficult and never does much for you then no but if she does things for you then give her a set date to move in and move out. but i would not let her move in and then kick her out. i think that that would just create problems. good luck!
2007-11-23 14:57:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say be nice and allow her to come stay with you. But the moment she starts becoming difficult have your husband kick her out.
2007-11-23 14:10:53 · answer #11 · answered by jessica 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋