What are characteristics or insecure men or men with low self esteem?

Question

Do they always need to feel needed, belittle, women, and cannot be around strong women. I also wonder can they be around strong men? Do men who are insecure have a problem with their sexuality? Could it be possible that their mothers treated them very badly and that's why they are mean to women? Any suggestion is appreciated.

Kim W, thank you for this information...i hope this helps all the women who will read this. I am happy for you.

Answer 1

Having been in a relationship of 5 years mental abuse, I feel very confident in knowing the warning signs and red flags of insecure, low self esteem men. Primarily, they are contollers and abusers either physical or mental and yes can be both. Mental is sneakier and leaves no physical marks but can leave deep psychological scars. Many of them start not at the beginning but begin as a slow process where you are unsuspecting with little "innocent" requests, but as time goes by, their demands increase. Sexuality is not always a factor nor is a mother's influence. The man I was with was both sexually proficient and his mother was overall normal but she was controlled by her husband. In fact we were both very much sexually compatible, just not in many other things. Actually, most moms appear normal, but if you look at the way their husband's treat them, I think that is where the "role model" begins. As to being around stronger men? They tend to either be very quiet or timid or over loud and screaming from the top of their lungs in a manner of "look at me!" In the mind of a low self esteem man, they actually do not see themselves treating their women bad at all. In fact, many see them treating you better than you "deserve".

The only cure for such men is when they choose their behavior is unacceptable and abhorring. YOU cannot cure them through your love or anything else.

Low self esteem I think is a combination of environment and psychological. If you end up with low self esteem because of such a creature, please be aware you can recover from it and realize you are not at fault for being in such a relationship. The biggest common thing I find with other women who get caught up in such relationships is they feel "The guy hasn't known a nice person. Let me be that person and show how I care" I was guilty of that thinking.

Red flags to be aware!

1. Control. Somewhere between dates 1-5 HE starts suggesting how you should behave, what you should wear, eat, etc. because it makes him happier. Remember, supposedly we are on our best image ever in the beginning of relationships to show what a catch we are! Imagine how we are once we begin relaxing and we are used to each other, how much worse such a person would be more demanding.

2. Jealousy. Jealousy over seemingly minor things is not cute and it is not because he cares. It is because HE feels threatened

3. Guilt. He always tells you "Look what I have done for you!" Somehow all events and conversations turns to it is about him and what HE has done for you

4. Your Fault. Any disagreements or strife is always gets turned around to somehow it was your fault that created it. HE never takes accountability for his own behavior

5. The Answer Man. Too ready for an answer. If you look at most abusers, they always seem to have some realistic answer as to why and how that happened and of course it is directed away from him. Remember the OJ Simpson comment on how Nicole's bruises were not bruises but her playing around with make-up? Also, he came up with an answer with anything else that was held in doubt.

6. The Apology. "I don't know what I was thinking and I am sorry and I will never do it again" They may actually feel sorry for the time especially if it is the possibility of losing you and the control they have over you. They actually "behave" themselves for a period of time

7. Inability to sustain the regret and apology. I have never known a low self esteem abuser to sustain for the long haul a true remorse. They usually go back to their original bad behavior once they think they have snagged you again.

8. Energy taker. They want constant reassurance in how you perceive them and how your friends perceive them. However, they put down all nay sayers and berate those people in how stupid and insignificant those critics are

The secret for me to break such a cycle of choosing another man of the same nature was to break the mold of what was attracting me to such a guy. So I created my warning flags to be more aware of the behavior in such men. One date even was so bold to tell me on our 2nd date that when I was with him I was to only talk to him if I cared anything about him and not be so rude to talk to others. I can't and refuse to imagine what kind of man he really is, but I was prompt to tell him over the phone and away from him why we would no longer be dating. Do not give away where you live and use a phone number that cannot be traced on public records to protect your anonymity. Meet mutually in public places. This way, if it ends up not a good date, then you won't have fear of stalking. Take a different set of roads home than your normal path and I have even gone as far as "park" elsewhere to ensure I was not followed. so simply enjoy your date without rushing into long term plans.

May seem paranoia but I call it being safe. Once you discover what is attracting you to such creatures, change your "profile" of those men and look for something different. It took me 3 tries and in the end, I unknowingly ended up married and happy in a good mutual relationship that compromises and where we both take the blame in our moments of disagreements. We do not argue, but we do take opposite sides of a room to get a breather and come back to the round table to discuss what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again. Now I think that is a strong man who is sexy and does not feel the need to exert his will onto me nor I onto him.

Only suggestion I have for those uneven relationships? Tell yourself you deserve a whole lot better and you are not a bad person, Just guilty of caring and trying to be a nice person. Leave him and find a healthier relationship. Good luck , be safe, and much prayers

Answer 2

Insecure Men

Answer 3

If you intend to be desirable for a lady you need this guide https://tr.im/oYBJj , The Tao of Badass which can “convert you” right into a guy who draws most of the women.
The Tao of Badass is a famous step-by-step system for picking up girls that is proven to work for anyone. Regardless of age, appears or how unskilled you're around women. The program teaches you how to become ‘that man'who is needed by a lot of women.
The Tao of Badass  it will make you ‘that man'by arming you with the information of why you have to be like ‘that guy'though providing you all the pick up abilities you'll need to become ‘that person'who women are attracted to.

Answer 4

Abusive

Answer 5

You should really check out Mike Walden's (dating coach) report on how to make any guy, doesn't matter if is your boyfriend, husband or someone who you just met, feel so attracted to/in love with you, that he will get obsessive thoughts about you, all done through text messaging.

I know it sounds crazy but it works. I've tried it and I still can't believe how some simple text messages changed everything. Get the report here for free: http://www.texttheromanceback.link

Answer 6

He's the man every man aspires to be: the captain of industry, a star of the big screen, at the helm of the ship, the leader of the pack. He's the Alpha Male. Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. Do you want to be seen as an alpha male? Here are some tips on how to be that man

Answer 7

I think they can be secure around men and I think in a lot of cases it is linked to their mothers treating them bad or not wanting them. Yes those characteristics you listed apply but with time he can overcome this completely. I don't think sexual problems would stem from this unless they were sexually abused.

Answer 8

For the best answers, search on this site https://shorturl.im/axaLt

I think alot of the ones on yahoo answers who do that are insecure gay males, and they are jealous of black females.

Answer 9

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/47anj

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.

Answer 10

Guys with low self esteem have problems sometimes cause they were abused by some one like a parent or another person.
But , that does not stand for all men
there is guys like me , Who was abused
by peers and had a poor home life But i am a very sweet loving guy!

Answer 11

You've probably figured it out by now...but I would say jealousy, quick to anger, controlling, demanding.