how do you get over someone you live with?

Question

aside from moving out, how do you get over someone?

I've tried keeping busy!
I've tried finding another lover!
I've tried winning him back over!
I've tried fully ignoring him!

But nothing for me seems to work. Yes I have a choice to move out but right now it's not an option, and the same goes for him. The thing that really sucks the most is the fact that I have to get over a guy that I live with and at the same time put up with him and his "bf" flaunting their affection right in the front of me. The negative vibes are filling the air and I just want to move on like he did.

Every advice would be greatful. And though it's easy to say "just move on" it's harder than you actually think it is to do when you live with your ex.

Answer 1

Sounds like you need to watch Brokeback Mountain a few more times. that should do it.

I can't quit you.

Answer 2

Sometimes there is no other way .... but to move out! I can imagine how upsetting and painful this must be for you.

Sounds like you've been through many of the typical steps of losing your ex. The only other thing I suggest is that it will take time ... which can also be tough to bear. But since it doesn't seem to bother your ex to be around you and flaunting his affections for someone else ... then I really think you're being shown in no uncertain terms that it's over between you and him.

I'm truly sorry that you're going through a situation like this but that's all part of life .... living and learning .... not to make the same mistakes again. Perhaps you could try to not be there when the ex's new boyfriend is over. Don't hurt yourself each and every time. Let you wounds heal and try to find a new place to live. Also remember that if he did this to you ... he's likely to do the same thing to the new boyfriend.

I hope you don't receive numerous smug and contrite answers ... because matters of the heart aren't easy to deal with or heal. I wish you the very best of luck and wish you strength to move forward! =}

Answer 3

Time time time like someone already said is the healing factor.

However, people and relationships being so changeable, it seems to me that there is more going on here under the surface of how it looks. Both of you are still in the same abode. Since I don't know what caused your 'break up' and you seem obviously in love still, realize that a part of his 'heart' may still be connected to yours in a very deep way even he is unaware of.

People act out in all kinds of ways.

And, I suggest you journal your emotions over a length of time. That way, and I am serious here, when you do 'get over it' (mourning and grieving is part of this process and you are well into the process) you will have material for a book to help others.

Also, don't think it's about who hooks up with someone else first. Often the 'offender' hooks up long before the 'offended' and sometimes the other way around. But I also don't know what kind of history you two have. If you've been together a long time then it will take awhile.

No one shows all their true feelings, esp men, so, check out your heart and find out why you are staying in a place that causes you so much pain. Maybe it is telling you to sit this acting out of his out. Maybe it is telling you to move on.

Either way, I feel for your loss. If you are a decent human being, there will be others who will appreciate you shortly.

But, please, give yourself a chance to heal and
STOP TRYING ANYTHING
Just be for awhile
Be in the limbo
Be in the inbetween
Be in the space of being out of control over how he is to you
Just be
and breathe
and know there are people who hold you compassionately in their thoughts and hearts
Like I do.
Blessings

Answer 4

If you have no choice but to stay there. how about saying away when he's there and come back to end the day for the night. or if you don't feel like leaving the premise, stay in another room and keep occupied with entertainment or talking to friends.

Most of all, if you work...work until you're able to save enough money to move out right away...waste no time getting out.
don't let this get to you. never let a man get the best of you.

Answer 5

Use his petty, annoying traits to your emotional advantage, reinforce by thinking about how awful your life would be if he was a permanent fixture in your life. If the reason you can't move out is financial or legal, think of a future time when that situation changes. You know how people in deep love have to get over stupid, little things their partners do, you go the opposite way and think how glad you will be once it's possible to take a hike.

Answer 6

I don't think there is any way to resolve your feelings if you stay in your situation, especially if your former bf is bringing another girl to what was your home. I don't know the living arrangements, but if you share expenses and a lease, I think I would just tell him that until I could make other arrangements he should not bring her home, they could "visit" at her place. If the lease is in your name, change the lock and put his stuff on the curb. The best thing to do is move if you can temporarily stay with friends or family it would ease your mind.

Answer 7

it's very hard you said you "have a choice to

move out but right now it's not an option," so if

it's not an option there is really nothing you

could do the best & only thing to do would be

to move on/out but if you can't then I guess

puting up with it is your only choice.

Sorry but you don't seem to have many options.

I really wish there was something you could do.

Answer 8

The only thing I can suggest would be a crossed dresser if he likes men more than women. No one can tell you how or what cuz it comes in time when its official over. As for myself, I do feel for your situation as I am still trying to stop loving my EX since he left me in Aug 2004. I divorced him May 2005 but he kept coming back into my life until I had to place a restraining order on him in Nov 2005. During 2006, he kept coming over to my place and I kept letting him come in until the courts place a probation on him. I still love him as of today. I don't know why when he was so mean to me. He has a gf but I feel he had her just as an alibi for court. I remember several times he stated he never wanted to be divorced so thats probably why I cannot stop loving him. I believe him. Ok, no one will understand and this is why I understand your feelings. No one can understand unless they see the entire picture. Sure my EX abused me but he did it cuz his life at the time was bad and he didn't see it. I see my EX with good qualities. No one is born with anger nor disrespect its a learned process so I know he was angry for not knowing his dad plus losing our child. Anyways, as this unfolds your situation will not change cuz he's stuck with men. Once your gay your gay. Ok, I am making it worse but the only soluation is becoming a man. I say give it to God. I always say there's a reason why one's feelings are strong and there has to be a reason. I say just put those feelings in the back of your heart. I have done that with my situation. Not sure what will happen but its only time that will tell. Just enjoy life for now cuz its the only one you have left...smile

Answer 9

Unfortunately it's going to be hard until something happends...whether you finally get the money to move out, or you meet someone else. Eventually you will move on and get over him...it's just the way it is. But you just have to give it time, and keep doing what your doing. You'll meet someone...good luck

Answer 10

The same happened to me. I broke up with my ex, but I had to wait 5 months before she could move out.

I just had to do my own thing, and go out. And find other girls. And hang out with family and frinds more.

Best thing to do IS leave though.

Answer 11

Start dating someone else. Only problem with that would be introducing your new guy to your roommate and ex-boyfriend. Eventually you need to move out, but in the meantime make the best of it.