It seems that memories and fallout of being abused have visited me without let up. How can you step out of this cycle without having a brain transplant ? im not trying to be funny. I rly want to know. I want to know how to do it Gods way.
2007-11-23 11:50:01 · 21 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I feel for you. May God grant you His PEACE that passes understanding. And JOY unspeakable, and full of glory!
Snuggle up to Him, and accept His love. There is no other answer on earth!
I believe this is why we must return GOOD for evil, because our anger and frustration will grow unabated, unless we give it up!
I believe this is why we must FORGIVE. Jesus taught us to pray "Forgive US as we forgive others".
Doing no harm, minimizes the hurt.
Doing good, despite the hurt, is a soothing balm! It helps us heal.
Jesus turns our SCARS into STARS!!! And He alone!!!
My advice to not to meditate on the verse "turn the other cheek."
In the heat of the abusive moments, turning the other cheek may be the smart thing to do...but... you MUST step out of the abuse cycle.
Some foolish codependent women are going to be victims for life, forever turning the other cheek. That can get you dead.
We are to have knowledge of Gods will, and teach others. That's what God requires of us.
This takes time, studying, analyzing, and meditating on Gods WORD, and praying to understand the Bible!
That is the path God requires Christians to do. Seek the Kingdom first. And all this healing will be added unto you!
Blessings dear, in His love.
2007-11-24 01:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard, but you can do it. You need to make different choices, affirm yourself, and take the time necessary to heal from the abuse you suffered.
I don't know if you have tried this yet, but there is some healing to be had in the exercise of writing the abuser a letter and telling them everything they did, why it was wrong, and what lingering effects it has had on you. Send it or not, it's up to you. The healing comes from acknowledging all that happened and what you lost because of it.
Then once everything is acknowledged you can begin to set it aside and realize that the abuse that happened to you was something that *happened* to you -- it is not YOU. Make a list of what you are. You have strength -- look what you survived. You are fighting to recover, you have the guts to acknowledge it and not let it remain hidden. That means the secret can't harm anyone else because the abuser did not get away with it.
You were abused and that is hard to get over. I know you mentioned that you had therapy, but maybe it would be helpful to try again with a different therapist, now that you are at a different point in your life, the outcome could also be different.
Another therapeutic intervention is to write the story of what happened, and where you are now. But then write the ending to the story how you WANT it to turn out, and keep reading it every so often to remind yourself that ultimately, you are taking charge of your destiny.
God is with you and wants you to be healed!
2007-11-23 16:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, you have to decide what kind of person you want to be--and then stick to that decision.
Next--and this can take decades--you have to learn to recognize that the person who abused you is a person, too, who doesn't know how to manage anger very well.
If you are lucky, you'll be able to determine whether this person actually loved/loves you. If you know that the person did or does love you, that will help a lot toward seeing them as a person and not just as an abuser.
At some point, once you've grown into adulthood and are able to look upon things with more objective eyes, talk to the person about it. The person might acknowledge to you that s/he caused harm. They might even apologize--or they might shy away from the issue. In any case, you will have confronted them in a calm way and seen what they're made of.
The memories might never completely go away. I think your best bet will be to replace them with better memories.
Best wishes.
2007-11-23 12:04:32 · answer #3 · answered by Chantal G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just the idea of being overheard or seen abusing someone can cause a person to stop. I have offered to call the police in situations such as this, and was actually asked to do so on one occasion. I have even intervened when someone was kicking a dog. If more people got involved, there would be less 1:1 violence. People who abuse others are really cowards---a show of force or a mere witness who is willing to report the facts shuts them right down.
2016-05-25 03:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
((hugs)) I know it's hard! Keep praying. Ask Him to help you do this. Go with the things He then sets in motion. You also have to want this - but once you are sincere and ask be prepared! It may be quite a work but trust Him to lead you. If you need physical (friends) support pray for that too. Because you probably will need that. Make sure you get a good therapist. Set goals. I know what you mean about needing a brain transplant!! Email me if you want to chat.
2007-11-23 12:53:04 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just turn your problems over to God. I know it sounds easy, but Iknow alot about abuse, and the baggage you carry with you, after wards. Pray, Jesus says to take up His yoke, and His yoke is easy. You worry about Glorifying God and let God worry about your problems. Besides, if your past is haunting you, it's just the devil trying to get you down. When you accept Christ, you are transformed into an all new creature. You no longer have a past. You are a Heavenly creature living on Earth. Let God handle it, and don't bother with what satan is trying to do.
2007-11-24 01:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Splinter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having memories is only human. You cannot just discard them as they didn't exist. You can use those memories to guide you future away and break the cycle, or you can use them to reinforce the cycle and use them as a weak excuse for cotinued abuse. The choice is yours.pp
2007-11-23 11:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by ttpawpaw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know people who have done it. They completely remove themselves from the situations and people that caused it and work diligently to prevent it from happening again. Some people are haunted by the memories, but they can also see how far they've come since then, too.
Best wishes to you. It can be done! Have courage and take the steps necessary.
2007-11-23 11:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by kriosalysia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be able to forgive yourself before you can truly forgive others.
I've been through this myself. I grew up in an abusive household and then married a husband who was very much like my father. But I broke the cycle, my story is linked below if you are interested.
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-BYLCI14waatRCG7bDVrLiy2aIuzT?tag=why_i_believe
2007-11-23 11:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by Last Ent Wife (RCIA) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was also abused, and as you grow in faith, the memory does in fact dim. Of course it comes up again--just one more reason to be of good faith! You should also get counseling--that's been very good for me over time.
2007-11-23 12:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anna P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋