My father, my best friend, died last January. It still seems like yesterday that it happened. I feel such an emptiness inside and miss him more than I can explain. Never to hear his jokes, see him carve the turkey on the holidays, and the empty seat at the table is just too hard. Have any of you found a way to help in the healing process over the holidays?I used to love the holiday season, now I dread it and the rest of the family doesn't seem to be having a hard time with it.
2007-11-23 11:05:00 · 8 answers · asked by heartwhisperer2000 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My dad died many years ago and it will be 3 years in Feb. for my mom. I'm still having a hard time with it. I love decorating for Christmas and she absolutely loved it, I used to try to out-do myself every year....I haven't decorated since...... I'm having a harder time than my sisters because they're married & I still live in the same house. I'm sorry for your loss and wish I could help you.... Try to have Happy Holidays anyway!
2007-11-23 11:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother my best friend died 5 years ago this November 4. She loved the holidays. Expecially Thanksgiving and Christmas. It took me 4 years of not really decorating or celebrating christmas but this year i want to. I am happier. You just need to take it one day at a time. There are through hospice goups for losing a parent or partner. They helped me in the begining. But there is never a time limit and it will be hard but keep pushing your self to go higher. Be with the people you love that are still here. Good luck. Do not listen to your family only you can say when your ready to say goodbye.
2007-11-23 11:09:59 · answer #2 · answered by Carlie S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how that feels, it takes a whole lot longer than a couple of years to actually feel as if anything is changing. I would like to say handle the holidays as he taught you, but i couldn't take my own advice back then. To this day, i don't celebrate my birthday, as his was so shortly after mine, as mine drew nearer, i became sadder. Just do the best you can for the rest of the family and try for yourself cause you know he would want you too. You can be sure the rest feel the same but are putting on airs for each other, trying to be the strong ones. When you are alone try talking to him, or write a letter, as dumb as it sounds it helps. Time is the only healer, in time i think you will feel his presence, and know things are gonna be ok. But i don't know what else i can say, knowing the feelings, i wish i could take them away from everyone out there. Just know you aren't alone with this in the holiday season.
2007-11-23 11:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by ferochira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never lost a parent thank god for that. But I did lose my best friend in July my uncle about a month ago, and one of my aunts about two months ago, So I think that makes up for a parent (but maybe not). But I know I just want to skip the holidays and not even put up xmas stuff, I miss them a lot but try to remember the good times. I can't stop the holidays I have a 16yr old girl 19yr old son and a 23yr old son and a 3 yr old granddaughter. So good luck to you and remember the good times. Happy holidays.
2007-11-23 11:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by answer machine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had no choice...I was alone, no family nearby and no friends and I worked at home...and neither one of my brothers came to see her or be with me. My uncle came up but after she passed away no one came. In lived across the street from the hospital where she passed and I had to walk my dog right across the street. I died a little bit every day there for quite a long time. This was July 2004 and I still dream about her literally almost every night. I only lost it once when i came home and she was gone and I just yelled "I WANT MY MOMMY!" Then I broke down completely. If I hadn't had my little dog (that my Mom bought and picked out for me) I would have just ended it. Two things stopped me; one, I don't believe suicides get to be with their loved ones in the Afterlife and two, I couldn't go and leave my dog. She worships me and I'm the only mommy she has ever known.
What hit me hardest was the fact that I no longer had a place or a home anywhere in the world...because Mom was my home and she always wanted me with her. Now no one did.
One day my uncle brought his wife with him and she remarked that she loved her kids mroe than anything in the world, blah blah blah and I wanted to scream at her "My Mother loves me more than anything else in the world!" But I couldn't. And my Momwas lying there a few feet away and unable to respond, she was so drugged up and had tubes down her throat. I can't tell you how hurtful that remark was!
Anyway, it gets a wee bit easier day by day, month by month, and eventually you will be able to live with your loss as I have with mine. Good neighbors help, and a decent job and of course, a loving little dog.
And also you do it because you have no other choice and you must keep going for yourself and for your Dad who is watching over you 24/7.
There is no set timeframe for grief; everyone is different...
2007-11-23 11:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my Mom 2 years ago and find that talking to friends and family about it relieves some of the pain and emptiness. There will always be the gap in your life for him, but remember the all good times helps ease the pain.
2007-11-23 11:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by 'Old & Cudley' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father died on March 1st of this year. It has been a real battle to get our mom moved to her new house, maintain and then sell the ranch, and get everything completely moved out of there.
My brother and I tried to crack the jokes during our thanksgiving celebration. I really felt Dad's presence.
2007-11-23 11:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lost my dad years ago. there's nothing you can do but deal with it. mine died on christmas eve from a car accident.
2007-11-23 11:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋