I am in college and I have been unoffically dating this guy for 7 months. We are really in love I even took his virginity. But the reason why I say unoffically is because our parents dont really know we're dating. Anyway we have met each others parents and stuff and my parents love him and vice versa. Well like I said he was a virgin cause he was raised to save hisself for marriage and just resently hia mother asked him is he still a virgin and he told her the truth. She now knows we date and are having sex. Thats not the problem, the problem is now she's pushing for grandkids!!! She claims she can feel we are to get married in the future and she's ready for grandkids now. We're in college we dont want kids right now and not saying we wont get married, we dont know.....but thats a huge commitment. We both have dreams and want careers. How should we handle this problem???
Thanks for your help
2007-11-23 10:25:07 · 8 answers · asked by smilez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not a problem when you really love that person.
If you are not ready for that kind of commitment, then you shouldn't be shacking up. It was better to have left your boyfriend a virgin, if you knew that you both are not ready for marriage and a family.
2007-11-23 10:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You two better get your priorities straight and tell his mother immediately that your plans are your business and your business alone . She is wayyyy off base . His virginity or loss there of is not now a free-for-all to procreate . I hope to goodness that you know what you want in life and can stand up for yourself. You do not need another women's fantasies to ruin your life , because that is what you would be doing . How about all that hard work that goes into all those years of study and knuckling down to amount to something . And what a nerve to ask her son if he is still a virgin . He is under her thumb, so do beware . Love is blind you know.Keep your eyes open .
Your sex life is nobodies beeswax . Say that. Bedroom secrets are taboo for discussion . Say that too .
Well, enough of all the rhetoric .
It will become a problem only if you have no backbone and can't open up your mouth to tell her : Not any of your business .
2007-11-23 10:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well for starters, I think you are totally right in wanting to wait for children. You both are still young and you havent been dating for that long. I think you should wait untill both of you are out of college and have settled down and found a carreer you are interested in. It is not fair for his mother to be pushing the two of you. It would really not be fair for the child to be born into an unstable relationship.
Im not saying you and your boyfriend are unstable or anything I am just saying i think it would be best to wait until you have a steady job and are married to settle down.
I think if you talk to your boyfriend about this and he agrees, then he should talk to his mother. I hope this helped!! Good luck with your relationship!!
I wish you the best!!
=)
2007-11-23 10:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by Emily B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why but I really want to answer this question. You are young, vibrant and you got your whole life in front of you. Make love to him as long as you want, remember the protection, and persue your dreams as a career woman. If it turns into marriage, good for the both of you, and then you can decide what your plans will be for the future with regards to kids. And after that you can decide if you want to let your mother in law know what both of you decided. Don't give up any of your dreams to give somebody grandchildren please.
2007-11-23 10:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i would say that take your time kids are a huge responsibilty believe me im only 16 and i had a baby 5 months preme earilier this month and he passed away but i was so scared cuz my parents dont even no the father even though we had dated for almost a year... but i am a god mother and raising a baby is so hard expecially trying to go to school at the same time!
2007-11-23 10:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you want my honest opinion, finish college and get your dream career. you can get married as you finish college but i would wait for children until you can both support kids and are ready for it. don't listen to his mother, though. only have kids if you wnat them. it is a huge commitment and you should only get married and start a family if it's really what you want. stay strong and follow your heart.
2007-11-23 10:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Josie S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let her keep saying that.
its better that she wants grandkids than shes making u guys breaking up
2007-11-23 10:28:50 · answer #7 · answered by vicnbie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just smile say you want to finish school get a good job so you can give your children everything they need -- clothes education etc --- i think that will if not stop her at least give you time to decide what you both really want to do ---- best wishes
2007-11-23 10:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋