I know a woman that is constantly interfering in other family members schedules and plans by changing times, dates or pick-up's and "drop-offs"....particularly if the activitivity is something that she was not asked to be involved with.
If someone has planned an outing or trip and the trip involves something she doesn't approve of then she does her best to re-arrange times, places, who's going etc... or to cancel the trip altogether.
She is a "Director" where she works, but how can we as family members keep her out of our scheduling and plans? She is always wanting to be "in-charge" of our lives, our household and our relationships with others.
It's very frustrating because she won't take "no" for an answer..... and if she's caught..... she'll cry and try to back-peddle" her way out of what she's done or said by saying it's her job to be "concerned" about the family and the kids.
Any constructive advice would be appreciated.
2007-11-23 09:42:35 · 5 answers · asked by Kaybee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
control freak. only had to read the first paragraph to figure that one out.
2007-11-23 09:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Strengthen your backbone. There's an old saying, "No one can take advantage of you unless YOU let them."
1. Say "No," and mean it. If she doesn't take no for an answer, then let it be egg on her face when no one shows up to whatever "thing" she scheduled you for.
2. When she backpeddles into the "concern" thing, then tell her, "Fine. Be concerned. Have a mug of hot coffee and get some good concerning in. But we are doing things "this" way.." or whatever the situation is.
3. If she cries, reiterate that you love her, but that you are all grownups and can make your own decisions.
4. Maybe try mixing things up a little. Make some spontaneous plans (an ice cream outing or something you guys like to do) and call her up, spur of the moment and invite her. Really try to get her to come and enjoy a walk on the spontaneous side. This will also keep things friendly as you try to break away from her "control."
2007-11-23 17:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Organized...my butt! why do you still change plans? just because she says so? well, you guys are the guilty ones here.
You need to talk to her and in well manner and good behavior you can explain what's she's doing. You all know she wants the best for you, but you are not kids and you are not in her school. As adults you can make decisions and when you have an agreement, you guys make plans to fit the plan, but it's very unreasonable for her to come and change the plans again.
This reflects a big impact on the arrangements that you already made.
So, it would be very much appreciated if she doesn't change plans already set.
I don't care if she feels bad, irritated, offended or cries like a ridiculous freak, these are her own consequences, if she acts like a child, she'll be treated as a child. She need to behave as an adult. Please don't feel she's in charge, you are totally capable to do things on your own.
What she's really doing is create friction in relationships.
Next time you guys have a plan and she wants to interfere, don't follow her plans but your plans.....................
2007-11-23 17:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if she has low self esteem, she feels powerless and not valued, so she trys to control what she can. She WILL take no for an answer if the rest of your family refuses to budge. Just tell her these are the plans, and if she wishes to be involved then she must work in with everyone else, because this is what suits the majority.
2007-11-23 17:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think someone needs to slap her. Or you could try talking to her about her butting in and how she cannot over take everything. Tell her she needs to consult with all of you before making changes and if you don't like something, just say no. Hope I helped and good luck:)
2007-11-23 17:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋