BF lied about having Mortgage, dump him ?

Question

I feel like Im going to puke.
My boyfriend led me to believe he has been trying to pay a big mortgage while out of work since May.
I felt badly for him and suggested he refi to get money cause he kept telling me he was broke/in debt.
He said yeah he should refi.
It turns out his Dad bought him his house, the house is in his Dad's name and his dad even pays the RE Taxes!
I only found this out 2 weeks ago.
Now BF has great new job making mid six figures but says he has no money for xmas.
I have spent so much money helping him out and pay for dinners/travel.
I feel used.
I have my own mortgage to pay and now I AM totally screwed up financially BECAUSE i helped him.
I have been laid off recently.
Should I confront him or just vanish ?

I should add that my dad was a lwayer, before he died he told me NEVER to date a lawyer!
This guy is a lawyer too.
I feel so gullible! I was only trying to be nice.
Ill be okay I just feel used and it sucks at xmas time cause i have no family! :(

oh and he also told me point blank he was using his credit cards to struggle by because of his "mortgage debt switched back."
thats when i offered to help.

Answer 1

I am so sorry.

Yes, dump him. He's a user and this is abusive behaviour. Six figure income? Christ what an ********.

You sound like a great person. Find someone you deserve - not a lying loser.

Added this after reading your extra details:
It's a really hard time to be alone. I have been alone at Christmas before and to get by I involved myself with good causes. At least then I didn't feel like going crazy being alone.

Answer 2

You have been used. I do not know the laws of your state or location, but if you have documentation of money that you have paid or given him for his bills and it exceeds five thousand dollars, you may well have a small claims case against him. You could contact a lawyer for some professional advice.

If you are unable to recoup any of the loss, take this as a big learning experience....neither a borrower not a lender be.... You should just become unavailable, no calls, no chats, no visits....no nothing.

Do not fall into the trap of feeling as if you have to help out in a relationship, especially financially, you are not married and are under no obligation to do so. Women have a tendency to try and save everyone else, usually to the detriment of themselves.

Good luck in your job search.

Answer 3

I would say confront him, but he sounds like a total user and may not even care enough for it to be worth your time. I say just chalk this one up as a loss, explain (in writing or whatever way you think best) that you know he lied about the mortgage and all pf the money you've been spending to help him out has put you in a financial bind. Explain that because of his callousness and deceit, you are no longer able to trust him and want him out of your life, and THEN vanish.

Answer 4

Definitely confront him. Thats an awful thing to do to someone! Sounds like he has some serious issues that could become a MASSIVE problem later if you carried on your relationship but make sure you get the whole story before making a judgement.

God Bless and I pray everything goes well

Answer 5

if u love him try and work it out. love conquers all right. either way u need to try and get him to help u financially. men are dumb about a lot of stuff. my boyfriend spoiled me when we first got together we both had good jobs and i got laid off he got invested in a business that isn't going well. i help him he helps me it has to be a balance. there was a point when i felt used and when i finally calmly explained it to him he began helping me out more and quit asking for some of the favors he was getting from me that made me feel that way. now we are both broke all the time but happy.

Answer 6

If he lied to you about being broke and lied to you about the mortgage, what else has he lied to you about? It's obvious he has no consideration regarding your finances and you did not have enough self-respect to be honest about about yours until now. I would tally up all the money you spent on his lying a**, confront hin and ask him to pay up. If that doesn't work, take him to small claims court and sue him for the money snd then drop him like a rock.

Answer 7

he's a liar and a serial cheater. he will (and it feels like, he's) cheat on you. he's quite undesirable information. i'm sorry, yet he won't exchange, issues will never be the way you desire them to. you're subsequent in an prolonged record of ladies he's putting into his harem, and there'll continuously be extra. you need to no longer basically circulate away this dating, you need to RUN from it. those are no longer "matters" you're having with this guy; this could be a heavily disturbed and unacceptable dating which you're throwing your life away on. Please look for psychological help as quickly as accessible. that's the main needed element so you might do precise now, before doing yet another element.

Answer 8

wow, that's does seem a case of u being used. however i would suggest u not to make any rash conclusions. talk to him, let him explain why he claimed he was in a financial crisis. i found talking and confronting the problem much better than letting it rest. Also since u helped him, u should ask him to help u in return.

Answer 9

Something is just wrong here. Where did the six figures go? Up his nose? If not there, then where?

You definitely need to confront him and find out what the heck is going on.

Answer 10

Wow...that's a pretty major thing to lie about. Why would someone lie about paying for a house? And where is the money going??
Whether you confront him or just vainish, either way make him history.