I was divorced before my son was born and now I started dating again. I am with someone whom mihgt be my long term partner right now, so it is time to introduce him to my son. Ideally, my son had a bio father who loves him very much, and a step father who is a great friend and good influence to him. I seem to be relaxed about the relationship between my son and my ex, and I know I need work on the relationship between my son and the potential step father. I am not sure how to do it. Any advise?
2007-11-23 09:00:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is mommy's "new friend ___" you may call him (whatever) if you like. After they bond for a while, if they do, you may start hinting that it would be great if mommy's friend moves in. It has to be difficult for your boyfriend as well with daddy close and wanting to stay in the picture (which is good for the kid). Make sure that your boyfriend makes it clear that he does not want to take "daddy's " place. Hopefully your ex and your future get along. That would make it much easier. If they don't then you need to be very carefull about what they say about each other in the presence of the child. Any personal conflicts must be hidden from the child and he should not be made to feel that he has to make a choice. So there is Daddy and Mommy's friend who can teach stuff and do stuff and advise just like daddy because he is an adult and thats what adults do. Good luck
2007-11-23 09:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by crackerjack 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it slowly. You might plan some day time dates like the zoo where it's appropriate to bring a kid along for a couple of hours.
Some men should never, ever be allowed to become stepdads to other men's sons -- there is a propensity among them to mistreat other men's kids and the boys suffer the worst. So really keep your eyes peeled for any kind of curtness, remoteness, unrealistic expectations about your son's abilities (expecting a 2.5 year old to have the control or manners of a much older child for example) and so on.
2007-11-23 09:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only introduce them when you are 100% sure you have a long term commitment. To do so prematurely will only cause your son more emotional loss if you and your BF don't work out.
The 2 1/2 yr old won't really know what a BF is...so why bother making it formal. Just invite him over to your house for dinner with you and your son, when the time is right.
2007-11-23 09:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Enlightened One 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is your boy friend the father of the child? If you are sure then there is no issue as you can introduce your two year old once you are certain that there will not be a second step father as children get confused when there are more people in their life.
2007-11-23 09:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by fatandsmooth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
invite your boyfriend over for diner. It would be most relaxed if you did a finger food relaxed night. Like get pizza rolls and watch a movie you son would like. You can of course pick whatever food that is easy to make and eat that everyone will like. Doing this will create a relaxed situation that will allow for easy bonding. So hope everything works out good for you.
2007-11-23 09:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by guymandude 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd say maybe start off with just having him come over and hang out and get to know your son a little bit... and then tell him that he's your new boyfriend... or even just wait untill you to decdie to get married or something and try to tell him that his new daddy? It's going to be extremely confusing for him since he is so young... but children are very smart and they can understand things we don't think they would be able too... so I'd start with just bringing him around at the house and having him play with him... good luck to you! I hope things work out for you! =]
2007-11-23 09:04:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go to a play place or a park. Somewhere that they can interact with each other. I wouldn't have him come to your house for a while since that is your child's safe zone. Do this a few times and then if all goes well and they get along have him have dinner at your house. Make sure they get along well. If they don't I would stop dating him. It could make life hard later on.
2007-11-23 09:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't introduce him to your son until your absolutely sure your relationship with your new boyfriend is going to be long term. You don't want to confuse your son.
2007-11-23 09:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by peaches6 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
just introduce him as a friend and let your boyfriend take it from there. watch how he gets along with your son. and no pda around him it will confuse him at 2. i waited until mine were a little older before i introducted my husand to them. it is a terrible thing to march men in and out of his life. good luck
2007-11-23 09:06:12 · answer #9 · answered by sheilasays 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-17 22:17:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋