Why is he doing this?

Question

i went out with this guy over the summer and he was super sweet he'd picked me even though hes going to the 9th grade and there are prettier girls there.he loved me alot and for the first time i had a chance from being self concious about my look.then school started then we broke up becuase i was still stuck in middle school [8th grade.].then back together because we really liked each other.over that time ive been highly depressed [im a pessimist] he offically broke up with me but still liked me and wanted to be frienfds with bebfits but no the sex part lol.so yeah he came to see me as much as possible. we kissed and more stuff.then he liked 4 diff. girls their alll pretty,skate,cheer,good personalities.
my friend secretly talked to him and said he still loves me. but then why the hell does he sex talk other girls [litterally] :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

we just play ing around i mean who ever thinks we're having sex is the perv
my mom thinks its cute that teens hold hands,tiny kisses,and hugging for our age nothing more than that

for us friends with benefits without the sex.

Answer 1

he wants to seem cool to highschoolers=(

Answer 2

The parent in me shudders at your question because you're far too young to be anyone's friend with benefits. That notwithstanding, the reason why he's talking to other girls about sex is because he's a teenaged boy in high school...one big walking hormone in search of a situation. Yeah, it's annoying and confusing, but it's predictably age-appropriate behavior. My wish for you would be for you to minimize the significance you place on this guy (or any other guy) for now, and focus instead on educational pursuits. But I also know that your fixation at this stage is also age-appropriate, so I won't take it personally if you cannot take my advice. No matter what you do, keep your eyes on the bigger picture...preserving the sanctity of your future. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

he prob doesn't want to limit himself.. i feel you should talk to him about his actions.. if he still continues doing so, dump him.. don't let yourself continue hurting

Answer 4

You are so not going to like what I have to say about this topic, but I do understand what is going on here, and I have been in this situation when I was your age. On top of that, I am forty four, and have some degree of experiance in life, with the opposite sex, and life in general.

First off all, you both are far too young for any type of sexual contact. Kissing is sexual contact, fondeling is sexual contact. Fondeling is when you touch each other in your personal areas. Such as your private areas both above and below the waste. Many young people are unaware of the sexual deseases that can be contracted by touching. If you have a sore on a finger, and the other person has a disease, you can catch that disease by touching him in his private area with the finger that has the open sore on it. That is considered a blood born disease. There are also diseases which are spread by other bodily fluids. Then there is the possibility of pregnancy, if the sexual activity suddenly turns into actual intercouse. Often even adults find themselves in a fully sexual activity without meaning for it to go that far. When we are unprepared for a sudden onslaught of hormones, we take the risk of a unexpected pregnancy, because often precautions are not taken in those sudden moments.

OK, enough of the sex lecture. On to the topic of how different boys are from girls. Boys and girls want different things in a "relationship" I put relationship in quotes because you both are far too young for any real degree of a male/female romantic relatinship.

Boys usually want one thing from girls at this age and while they are still teenagers and young adult males. They want sexual contact. As they get older, the more they expect from girls. However, the truth of this situation is that boys simply do not respect girls who give out. They will date girls who do so, but not respect them, and they will blab to their friends what you do with them. Then their friends don't respect you either, but think because you gave out to one, you will do so for them too, and they will attempt to suduce you into thinking they really like you, and when they get what they want they will dump you. This is the truth. If you don't believe me now, you will in a few years. I hope you choose to believe me now, because it will save you a world of hurt, confusion, and your self esteem.

Now, one reason he is different now is that while it was still summer time he was technically still in Middle School too. He was soon to become a High Schooler, but he wasn't one yet. So, while it was still summer, he felt you were still his equal socially. Now that he has entered High School, he views you as a baby, and the girls he goes to schhool with at High School are his peers now, not you.

However, because you allowed him to touch you in a sexual way over the summer, and you touched him sexually too, he still wants that from you. He may not be getting those types of sexual touches from these other girls yet, and so you fill a need in him right now. As long as you continue to let him touch you that way, and you touch him that way, he will still see you, but "on the side", where it is secret, and not in public. Is this really what you want from a boy? I hope not. As soon as you stop allowing him to touch you, and you stop touching him, he will stop seeing you all together.

So, it is up to you. Do you want to keep your self respect, and raise your self esteem, by not allowing boys to treat you like a sexual object, or do you want to be used by boys who know you will give them what they want?

If you stop allowing boys to touch you sexually, you will keep your reputation, and later on down the road you will meet a nice boy who wants more than just sexual touching, a more real relationship where sex is only a part of it, not the entire thing. A boy who respects you and wants to just spend time with you because he enjoys your company. A boy who will take you out in public, such as a movie, or to just hang out with.

Sure, later on a sexual relationship is part of a romantic relationship. However, right now boys want one thing and that is sex. If you give it to them that is all they want from you. Test it out by not allowing him to touch you and see how quickly he hits the road and doesn't want anything more from you.

I know it hurts, but this is natural on a boys part at this age. He wants to experiance sexual activities, as his hormones are raging and he is curious. Plus, boys like to brag to their friends that they are more experianced.

Please don't allow yourself to be used by boys. They don't care about your feelings, as all you are is a sexual experiment right now, not a person with feelings and needs of your own. They are simply too young to understand that there is more to a female than the sex they can offer. As they grow older they see that girls have more to offer, and that is when you can have a more fullfilling relationship. Around seventeen or eighteen is when boys begin to see girls as more than sexual objects to meet their hormonal needs, and their desire to brag of their sexual conquests with friends.

I wish you all the best, and hope you make the right decision to respect yourself and keep your reputation and self esteem high. If you don't respect yourself, who will? People will treat you as you treat yourself. If they see you disrespect yourself they will also disrespect you. If they see you respect yourself, they will respect you too. It is as simple and as difficult as that.

Answer 5

well he likes u n everytan but guys go looking 4 wat u dont give them on otha gurls....