I am a freshman in college and met a nice man on campus whom I was friendly with.
I don't see him very often, so when we would see eachother he would try to hug me or touch my shoulder and such and I had to explain that I do not like to be touched.
He said that he understood but ever since then he has been very strange around me:
-He once came up to me as I was having an instant message conversation, and began to read it over my shoulder. When I asked him to stop, he got extremely offended and left in a huff.
-I was once speaking to another friend about a private matter when he came up to us. My friend asked him to leave and he replied, "Whatever you can say infront of her you can say infront of me," causing my friend to leave and tell me he'd just call me later.
I don't know this boy very well so that second situation scared me a bit...
How can I tell him to leave me alone without causing him to make a scene?
2007-11-23 06:16:10 · 15 answers · asked by sofia 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Do not hesitate to tell all your friends & acquaintances that the guy is wierding you out. Ask them to watch your back. If you see him when you are alone, go to the nearest person you see and calmly ask them to let you stand and talk because there's a guy who makes you uncomfortable.
Tell him to leave you alone when there is a witness, and if he makes a scene you should both go to the administration and discuss his behavior. If he's just a harmless nerd, he can benefit from some social-skills coaching.
2007-11-23 06:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by noname 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest saying it once, honestly, and firm. Tell him you do not know him very well and his actions have made you uncomfortable. I would explain that even though you two are friendly you are still strangers and you don't appreciate his assuming that private information about you can be openly discussed in his presence. Don't forget to say that it makes you uncomfortable. Tell him you'd like to stay friendly with him but he needs to respect your space and if he can't you aren't afraid of seeking assistance from campus security to make sure you receive this space. I know this may sound silly or even a bit much, but trust your gut instinct on this. If this guy is creepy and it sounds like you've given him several chances to NOT be creepy, then you need to let someone know. I went to Virginia Tech and everyone I know that has come across the student who took several lives back in June keeps saying they had an uneasy gut feeling. It's best to report it immediately rather than let it go. Most likely, that alone will scare him off.
2007-11-23 06:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by Rainey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK you're on college now so you have to stop acting like a little kid and trying to be nice to people you don't even like. You're not in high school, you don't have to be friendly to someone if you don't want to. The next time he comes up to you just say you have to go and walk away. Ignore him if he calls you. Tell friends and family about him that way they'll know to look after you.
Also, tell the campus police about him. You never know, maybe he's done something like this before or will do it again.
And you don't have to tell him you have a boyfriend just to get him to leave you alone. What if that just makes him angry? He's not important enough to lie to. Just tell him to leave you alone.
2007-11-23 06:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by Me 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first two responders- report this guy to the campus police. He may have a record or the police may know about him already. He needs to leave you alone. It seems like shows up without warning....is it possible he is following you?
Make a report. So, if this persists, the police have a record or complaints and can ask him to leave campus and/or leave you alone.
2007-11-23 06:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Daisy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you be really blunt about it so there's no confusion.
Tell him in a public place that there is no way that you know him well enough for him to read your IMs or to say that to your friend, that it bothered you a lot and that you want him to leave you alone.
Also, have someone else with you when you say it as a witness and write down the date and time that you tell him to leave you alone.
If he bothers you after that, you can pursue harassment through the university.
2007-11-23 06:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by Greywolf 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let the cops know what is going on. This guy could be a stalker. If this guy seems to be getting more obsessive , have a friend with you at all times while on campus.
2007-11-23 09:54:10 · answer #6 · answered by pete 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont mess about with this one !
Tell him you are scared and that he is making you feel uncomfortable. If that does not work then try telling a teacher at the collage who might know a bit more about him.
You have a right to enjoy your collage days without some moron messing with your head !
Good luck !!!!!!!!!
2007-11-23 06:24:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he needs to grow up ~!~!
just tell him to grow up and leave you alone next time your in a public place~!
2007-11-23 08:22:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has no boundaries by the sounds of it..you should (in a public place) explain your boundaries and ask him to respect them...find out if he has any friends ...he may be super shy and to compensate bullies his way in....
He is not your problem ...but be civil ....
2007-11-23 06:21:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a possible stalker...I agree with the ans. "report him to the campus police".
He could be harmless...but he could be a dangerous nut case. Better to be safe than sorry.
2007-11-23 06:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by KyLoveChick 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋