28 year old male living at home! What's so bad about it?

Question

I am a single, straight, 28 year old male that lives at home with his parents and other adult siblings. I am very successful in my career and I am highly educated as well, so it's not like I am a lazy person as some may want to believe when they hear I choose to live at home. My parents actively encourage their kids to live at home as long as they would like and rent free of course. What I don't understand is the jealousy people have of my living arrangements. If they are so jealous, most of them, I am sure, could make arrangments to move back home. I am the brunt of many nasty comments/jokes like this due to many forms of jealousy. It is worth noting that these arrangements did not come easy. I had to cultivate this great relationship with my family over a number of years. So it's not like anything was doled out to me. Plus, this is the least our parents can do considering all the years of joy we have given them in the past. They get a real kick out of that when I tell them that!

But I digress. Another thing I don't understand is why girls my age claim that this is such a turn off. Why can't a relationship flourish if I live at home? Oh, I get it, they want to have premarital sex etc. Forget it, I don't believe in that at all. But that doesn't mean that they can't come over or that we can't go out. People are really silly when you think about it. And it's not like I am a "mama's boy" either. I simply respect the other people that I live with. I try not to be home too late and when I am I call etc. One more thing that I get abused over is the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss. I have been so busy with school and work that this simply was not a possibility. When I am done with my masters next year, I will give it a shot again. I have only gone on 2 dates in my entire life and that was when I was 23. I think most people from my type of background as mentioned above have little to no experience with relationships either.

I'd like to read what you think.

Answer 1

Well, you certainly are alot different from other men, in a way its kind of refreshing, I am glad to hear that you have a great relationship with your parents, and as for women, one day you will find the type of woman who has the same values and beliefs as you do, I have to say, keep up the good work mate.

Answer 2

You have experienced life in a way that not may people have had the chance or the luxury to do. It has it's pros and cons and It is of course your decision. The inevitability of life is that you will be on your own eventually. The questions is do you want to do it while you have the social support of your family or will you be a deer caught in headlights?

One thing I have learned thus far in life is not everything is what it really seem and almost everything in life is a test and a way to prepare for the future. If friends make fun of try to really understand their thought process (they may have insights that you never considered) Of course the decisions is your in the end. The best thing that can happen is you will be closer and learn more about each other... the worst is you may not agree but both will know something you didn't before (growth).

Words don't mean much if there is no action that follows.

Answer 3

So, you know nothing about selecting an insurer or deciding on the best utility provider... you probably don't have a bank account or know the rates on CDs right now. You've never lived around other young people your age but you're old enough to get a master's degree. Hmmmmmm.

Personally, I think you are emotionally immature and that is why you are still at home. I have a wonderful, supportive family... I left home when I was 17 to attend the university. I still go back to visit but no way would I move back unless I was desperate. And most definitely, I would not date some guy who was still living at home and in his 20's !!!! That would be a red flag! No way!!!

Answer 4

I do consider your style of living together with your family a natural one.....all siblings and parents.It's simply great!.I hardly see or hear such thing in western society.
I am an India and what you have been doing , is simply praiseworthy.
Many City dwellers in India have started living life without family bond which they originally belong to.That's very sad.
I congratulate you for setting up a good example for many in your neighbourhood.You will always be having a great pleasure in sharing all good or bad things together with the rest of the members of such a great family.
Goodluck
God Bless

Answer 5

Oh,...you just make me so proud. I am proud of you. What a smart boy you are being. Rent free means you are saving money (or it BETTER mean that you're saving money!!!) for a house payment once you are married. It also likely means you have no debt load.

Ignore the jealous people. But, if you're living arrangements turn some of the ladies off, then they may not be ladies after all. You probably want to hang out with your pastor or church elders and meet women that attend your church, or are of similar passion for their faith. Girls that wait are nearly impossible to meet nowadays because they are waiting in safe places, not out and about at clubs and such.

Only in the USA are we so particular about living alone. You're smart to stay accustomed to living with others. It forces you to stay sharp on your interpersonal skills. Ignore all the people that comment with negativity, you are being smart, socially well-adjusted and economically wise. Just make sure you are banking and investing that cash flow for your future bride and babies. Don't forget that fun vacation either, all work and no fun...and all that.

Keep it up!!!! You're doing fine.
By the way,...who gave me a thumbs down??? What do YOU care how I might comment to another answerer. I *have* a blended household, and everyone is perfectly healthy, mentally and physically.

Answer 6

Honestly, I really see nothing wrong with it if you moved back home after college or if you need to come back home and save some money. But the words "come back" is what is key. My boyfriend and I both moved back in with our parents. We both had financial problems and decided to come back and save on some cash. I'm 26 and he is 27.

The thing is, we've MOVED BACK. What is unattractive is not the simple fact that you live at home, its the fact that you never left. It sounds like you have a lot of social problems. You made school your main priority instead of sataining a social life for yourself. You dont need to bring girls home. When my boyfriend moved back home with his parents (before he met me 7 months ago) girls had no problem inviting him over to their house.
If you are really interested in dating can I suggest online dating? You really do have a chance to meet a lot of girls out there who dont care where you live.

Lastly, who cares what people think and/or say. Life is too short to worry about it. Think of it this way, in 100 years who's going to care? Just live life the way you want to and enjoy :)

Answer 7

It is just natural to fly the coop and stand out on your own. I personally think it is poor parenting to give kids a free ride once they are able to support themselves. You lack an understanding of responsibility that is unattractive to other adults.

Jesus man, get out on your own and cut the umbilical cord already! No wonder you haven't dated! It's not that girls just want sex...it's that you are perceived as a needy and non independent person that is probably a momma's boy. Very unattractive to ANYONE! Grow up!

My parents always said that if you can support yourself, you should move along in your life and stand up on your own. It teaches you how to survive. Of course we would always have a place to stay if we hit troubled times.