I've been considered a nice guy by many people. For some reason however, I always seem to slip up along the way. Some small thing will set me off and I will say something I later regret. For example, a woman at my office often says "what" when I ask a question of her. I repeat the question each time. Recently however, I was having a bad day and was unhappy. My reaction on one of these occasions was rude, and I blurted out " you need a hearing aid"!. I realized what I'd said shortly thereafter and apologized. This wasn't enough for her. She said from now on we will only talk about things strictly pertaining to business. I felt horrible and tried to explain myself. It wasn't going as I would have liked it to, and it was the obvious cold shoulder coming my way. What do you think I can do to reconcile this situation? We used to be friends, we haven't known each other for very long, but I thought she'd be a little more sympathetic. Please let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks a lot.
2007-11-23 05:12:02 · 10 answers · asked by Smiley509 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look, right now she's just a little upset and really embarassed. Just leave things quiet for a few days and then maybe send her a silly e-card kind of making fun of yourself or, like, some candy saying sorry or something. You can also simply drop by and keep it simple. Say, listen, I was having a really crappy day, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. But don't keep begging for her forgiveness. And it give it some time.
FOR THE FUTURE: We've all had those days, when a little kid asking you to buy some cookies from Girls' Scouts is enough to want to call the cops on her for trespassing. Next time you feel irritated and tired, try this: stop for a second. Take a slow breath and think: is this what's really making me angry? Or am I about to hurt some innocent person's feelings? And then go do something afterward to calm down: tea, write in a journal, take a brisk walk. If you're in a really crappy mood, try and stay away from people you really care about or people you think will irritate you easily.
Good Luck and don't sweat it too much; life's short! :)
2007-11-23 05:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by Navy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely could have been more sympathetic but I think that someone would more likely to quickly forgive and forget if they'd already knew you a little better- and knew that what you blurted out was not the real "you" talking. I think that you might attempt to reconcile the situation by writing a sincere note- just because she doesn't seem to want to speak about things not work related- you will have her attention nonetheless. Simply re-iterate that you did not mean to hurt her feelings, explain you had a bad day and regret that the two of you are no longer on friendly terms. But also indicate that although you would like to continue to be friends, you will respect her decision if she doesn't. Personally I think only a real B***H or a psycho would still give the cold shoulder after all- and that means you probably dodged a bullet by not actually letting a friendship develop.
2007-11-23 05:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Tooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Overcoming this condition is called "maturity" and one must work to achieve it. After all,you're the only one in that skin,and you have control. As to the office incident you can't depend on the sympathy of others. Your co-worker is obviously hurt and may possibly not recover. If that happens remember it was your choice. Try to be civil,and give the situation some time to heal and think about your apology,was it sincere? Just apologizing sometimes isn't enough.
2007-11-23 05:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by PeeTee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadness
2016-04-05 04:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be too hard on yourself
we're humans and bound to make mistakes... what is important is that you have realized your mistake and that you asked for forgiveness...
we all have our differences.. what is important is on how we adjust on different situations being presented to us...
with your office mate, don't worry, give her time... after all, the burden will be on her, she will only carry a heavy load on her shoulder if she keeps on carrying grudges... it's hard to live in hate... give her time, eventually she'll get over it... if not, then there's nothing you can do, as long as you did your part
2007-11-23 05:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by ♀ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She overreacted- I would say something like the hearing aid comment as well. I mean, if you said it with fury, thats kind of uncool. But if you apologized and meant it....she needs to forget it.
2007-11-23 05:15:03 · answer #6 · answered by The Urbanized Hippie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are a human being you have a right to be upset once in a while. Just try to be nice to her, if she doesn't come around, thats her problem.
2007-11-23 05:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by crissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm... u r in a tough time, but try to be cool. if u r out of mood...just think ur fav r else just try to smile. i don't know its a gud idea r not...its just my thought.
2007-11-23 05:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by preeti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me a bit. If you are like me, you probably wear your heart on the proverbial sleave. But, you cannot change who you are :)
2007-11-23 05:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like maybe it was cognitive dissonance
sometimes when people don't want to hear you, then they can't
2007-11-23 05:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋