Ok i'm your average 12 year old girl who goes to middle school. I have this one friend who i think might be bio and likes me. of course we're friends but i'm not like that at all. i hav a crush on a boy. my friend would say things like "I had a lesbo friend who liked me and I was still her friend!" when i never even said anything. she never came straight out with it, but when i went over her house she would put on porn. God wants me to guard my eyes and my heart, but how can i do that in such an uncomfortable situation with a best friend who i think is a little "off track?"
2007-11-23 04:41:52 · 18 answers · asked by hayhay12m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well start by asking her to try and confirm whether or not she is bi. then ask her if she is interested in anyone, and let her know that your not like that but will stick by her side even if she is bi, and help her with the troubles she will have to face down the road. just continue to be a good friend:)
2007-11-23 04:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by Isaac van Mosley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, this needs to stop. You are verrry uncomfortable as you put it. Your friend is attracted to you and other women. This is probably new for you. You need to invite her over or get together in a private place where no one will overhear so she's not embarrased. Tell her that you like her as a friend but absolutly NOTHING more. Make this point very clear. Then tell her that you don't appriciate her comments because you are not bisexual. Ask her to please stop the porn and these things because it makes you very uncomfortable. Tell her it is ok for her to be a lesbian or bi or whatever she is but that you arn't. And tell her that you support her and will be there for her every step of the way as long as she respects your feelings when it comes to your love life.
If she's a true friend she'll get the picture and stop the behaviors around you that make you uncomfortable, but it will take time and you need to say your willing to help her.
Hope this helps!!!
And good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-23 12:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by 7th heaven freak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things are happening here. 1) both of you are just coming into learning your bodies. 2) If you are a Believer, you must run from any form of this kind of evil. You stated you must guard your eyes, ears, and you must guard your heart. Sit her down and let her know sex and sexual things are not on your list of things to do. Tell her about the love of Christ Jesus and what he would want for both of your lives to be. Then YOU be a friend from a distance. You must make a choice. Once you know the right way, you are obligated to do the right things. There is no way she can be your best friend and not be like you. You have to show her GOd's love and not the other way around. Remember, when Jesus was around sinners, his job was to bring them out of - he didn't stand around and socialize. You can't either.
2007-11-23 12:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can't change her, but you can say you are not comfortable with the porn and her tendency to focus on her sexuality. If you want to remain friends with her, she needs to understand there must be a boundary.
Ultimately, you can choose to not be her friend. But, the fact that she's been exposed to pornography tells me there may be something deeper going on with her and her "lesbianism."
I think the fact she has access to pornography is a bigger concern for me. At the very least, her parents are clueless enough to let her have access to it. At the worst, there could be some abuse issues going on.
The fact is most young adults struggle to understand their sexuality, lesbians and gays doubly so because they are still told it's not "normal." So she may be just trying to figure out her own sexuality and hoping that you can help.
But you're not ready, so keep yourself safe. But perhaps, your friend needs to be kept even safer. And I'm not talking about God here. I'm talking about her home environment not being safe for her.
2007-11-23 12:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she DOES like u in that way, she probably is just cllinging to a little bit of hope that you might be bi. she maybe wants to try to "turn you bi" so that she can have a shot with you. or, lots of young girls do experiement with kissing and such with their trusted friends, so that they wont feel stupid when they kiss a boy the first time. maybe she is wanting to do that. it sounds like your religion is important to you, since you said God wants you to gaurd your eyes and heart. maybe you could tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she watches porn when you are around. is bi/lesbo against ur religion? if it is, you shouldnt tell her that u think shes going to hell or anything, but just tell her that its not something u agree with and you are not that way and have no intention of experiementing.
2007-11-23 12:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't mind that first answer. The guy's a jerk. I find it so awsome that you like God. You don't find many people who even care about God these days. I think you should still be friends with her, as long as she dosen't come onto you (i mean really... come onto you) and when she puts on the porn find an excuss to leave!!!! If she dose come onto you just let her know (in the friendlyist way possible) you're not like that.
Do you like Switchfoot?
2007-11-23 12:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by Concrete Boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
understanding goes a long way..... as long as she hasn't made any sexual advances towards you you should accpet her for who she is for good and bad... but when she does things like show prono etc. i think it is best you tell her that you are not interested in watching that. you must at least draw a line and know what is and isn't acceptable.. these will occur during your friendship. you always must be honest and to start being honest now will be a lot easier later on in life... Excuse me (friends name) i feel very uncomfortable looking at this can we please watch something else... in most cases she will abide with a little snickering.. when she does snicker ignore it and change the topic of discussion to something else. if you stay silent she can more or less accept it as a yes signal from you.
2007-11-23 12:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by rob_nillify 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you like being her friend, but nothing more past that....next time she trys to "come on" to you or make some kind of advance sit her down be sure to stare her straight in the eyes then she knows your serious about this or she wont take you seriously and if she doesnt take you seriously then she will keep doing this...so be very stern and stare her down... tell her that you understand her situation, but you dont want to be a part of the situation, tell her that when she does things like that, it makes you really uncomfortable, and you want her to stop and hopefully, she will...and hopefully, i've been of some help
2007-11-23 13:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by Colonel Sanders 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all this is not ur friend-get that straight NOW! I would advise U to seek out better friendz and now to socialize with this person. I know U know when U feel uncomfortable in a situation...the feeling is there U know it. Well it's there with this person so move on and make new frinds. Remember: everyone is not your friend just because you thank they are. everyone is not like you either. Take this good advice from Dr. Poobah he has been there..move on.
2007-11-23 12:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Poobah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't judge her because of her sexuality...just politely let her know that you are not comfortable with what she is doing. If she is a true friend she would understand. Learning to stand up for yourself is tough but has to be done or ppl will walk all over you throughout life.
2007-11-23 12:47:04 · answer #10 · answered by crazystarz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋