28 year old male living at home! What's so bad about it?

Question

I am a single, straight, 28 year old male that lives at home with his parents and other adult siblings. I am very successful in my career and I am highly educated as well, so it's not like I am a lazy person as some may want to believe when they hear I choose to live at home. My parents actively encourage their kids to live at home as long as they would like and rent free of course. What I don't understand is the jealousy people have of my living arrangements. If they are so jealous, most of them, I am sure, could make arrangments to move back home. I am the brunt of many nasty comments/jokes like this due to many forms of jealousy. It is worth noting that these arrangements did not come easy. I had to cultivate this great relationship with my family over a number of years. So it's not like anything was doled out to me. Plus, this is the least our parents can do considering all the years of joy we have given them in the past. They get a real kick out of that when I tell them that!

But I digress. Another thing I don't understand is why girls my age claim that this is such a turn off. Why can't a relationship flourish if I live at home? Oh, I get it, they want to have premarital sex etc. Forget it, I don't believe in that at all. But that doesn't mean that they can't come over or that we can't go out. People are really silly when you think about it. And it's not like I am a "mama's boy" either. I simply respect the other people that I live with. I try not to be home too late and when I am I call etc. One more thing that I get abused over is the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss. I have been so busy with school and work that this simply was not a possibility. When I am done with my masters next year, I will give it a shot again. I have only gone on 2 dates in my entire life and that was when I was 23. I think most people from my type of background as mentioned above have little to no experience with relationships either.

I'd appreciate any thoughts you may have regarding this matter.

Answer 1

I don't think it is a bad thing for a grown man to live with his parents, as long as there are some boundaries. Men who live with their parents may be financially independent, but they are usually very dependent on their parents for everything else. Also, there is the lack of privacy and the fact that the parents begin to get in the middle of everything. And sometimes, even after married, the guys can't do a thing without the parents opinion, and ignoring the fact that they have a wife. I think that as long as the parents don't interfere so much, it is ok for a man to live with them, but NEVER after married.

Answer 2

Hey, don't beat yourself up over it...Yes i know that women think it's "gay" or "immature" to live your parents at such an age...I have a friend and he's Italian and had the exact same situation as u..he waited until he was 30 then bought himself a Townhouse which he absolutely loves. Listen, u have worked soo hard on your education and that says sooo much about you! Be proud of yourself! The rest will all come later, and it will. Hopefully u meet someone that will be just as committed to family values and education and Abstinence, as u! I think it's great that u have these morals in place and u will be rewarded for tall your hard work in the work force. Get situated with your career choices first, then worry about a relationship! Once you meet the right person then u can worry about a different living arrangement..when and if your ready! My guy friend (the Italian guy i mentioned), has a great job, and finally a girlfriend he really likes, the only thing is she has 3 kids, but he's managing. (the only set back at your age, a woman whom has been married or has kids), nothing wrong with that at all either, but sounds like u need to meet someone out of school and with the same morals u have! Good luck! Hope i'm invited to your wedding whenever the day shall come along!!

Answer 3

well, you are rare in this world. Most people your age, as you know, have screwed around a lot. And in traditional American culture, it's typical of kids out move out at 18-21. I know in other cultures staying with parents until marriage is not only typical or smart (e.g. benefits of a close family and being able to save money, etc) Some people may be jealous but I think it's more they don't understand. Most of us have parents who were jerks more or less (e.g. physically or mentally abusive, alcohol or drug addicts, etc) and can't imagine wanting to ever live with those type of rents. Keep on keeping on. Ignore the naysayers. I hope my best friend finds a nice guy like you, but you're a little too young.

Answer 4

Hello,
We joke about our kids leaving the house etc when 18. But in all honesty I do not care if my boys stay here forever.
It sounds like you are in America. America is a great place, I know nothing different.
BUT America has lost many values which are essential for a society. Family is something America has lost.
Look around and even the most ignorant can see that our mothers, fathers, grandparents are in the care of absolute strangers who do not care about them. Steal from them and abuse them.
You are right about the women. Most American young women want to have sex, party etc. Most of these young "girls" have no clue what family means, or even is.
I do not think it is jealousy you are feeling. I think it is living differently from others around you.

When you find the women who falls in love with you, you will have the ability to buy a home for your family, and actually support them. Unlike many of your peers.
It does not sound as if your family has been in America that many generations, so hopefully you can find a women who understands your morals.

Good luck and hold true to your convictions. This is honorable even though there are many ignorant people out there.

Answer 5

I wish I knew you, you would be the brunt of jokes from me too. Nothing wrong with you living at home, but it does seem funny, so just laugh along and enjoy the money you are saving. I guess the only really negative thing I can see is that I doubt you will ever find a woman that will treat you as well as you mom. so you may be in for a rough time if you ever decide to actually move out and find a woman.

Answer 6

wow, OK from the sounds of it as long as your happy screw everyone else. OK. But for my opinion. you sound religious, which is fine. from what i can tell is that your very focus on your family and career. good for you. people are jealous because your basically living for free and they aren't. Other peoples parents would kick them out at 18 and say never come back. most parent want their kids to move out, so the parents can start there life with each other and no kids.would you know how to do everything if you did have to move out. I really do thing that you will never get a girl friend unless she has her own place. I think your to sheltered and you need to get out more and don't tell people you live with your parents. To me it makes you sound like a kid not a adult.

Answer 7

I moved out of my parents home when I was 18 but moved back in when 28 to finish college. The year I graduated (age 30), I purchased my first home and have enjoyed the sense of accomplishment of finally growing up and doing it on my own without a partner. You should be saving a lot of money to purchase or rent your own home when your Masters Degree is complete. If you continue to stay at home with your parents after that, then I suggest counseling.

Answer 8

Honestly, you posted this question several time. Why should it bothered you so much what other people think? Who bloody cares? Life is short pal, you've got one live to life THAT is for you alone and no one else.

Screw what other girls think. Personally, as a girl like myself I see no problem you never had a serious relationship and so do I. I'm 28 years old and yeah, I am *willing* to wait for the right guy to come into my life. And I still live at home with my family cause I cant really afford at the moment.

Answer 9

well, they dont think of you as independent when you live at home. I dont mind it as much but most women dont want that. They want a man who lives on his own. The only guys i knew that were that age and lived at home were real losers. I havent known many but the ones i did know were like little boys. They lacked experience with women and they were just duds. That was when i was 18 and dating a 28 yr old guy who lived at home. It only lasted a month or so.

Now that im in my mid 20s , i know many guys living at home still. They seem ok, they work. its not as much of a big deal now. Im neutral on it. I think is 'ok' if you at least take care of yourself and are willing to move out when you find the right girl.

Answer 10

I know plenty of people who live at home at an adult age. I met my husband who was living at home after 30. Of course this was because of a divorce. However, he'd been there several years & was great assistance in house chores to his dad.

I know people who have higher degrees & still have a life as well. I dated & didn't need to shut my life off because i was working on a masters. Living like a hermit is no way to live....but hey your business is yours & that's great u have a great family you can get along with. I know i'm too independent to live with other family.

& who cares.....who cares what other people say..at 28 that should be the least of your worries.