We had a lovely Thanksgiving on Thursday. This morning (Friday) I am awoken at 5:30 am by noises in the kitchen and garage. I thought our home was being broken into! I go out to find my mother's new husband has loaded his truck and my mother tells me they are leaving. When I ask her why? She said that "Bill" awoke at 5:00 am and stated he was "bored" and ready to go home! My poor mother looked like she had been crying. When "Bill" came back into the house to refill his coffee mug I asked him "What is going on?" and he said "We are leaving." I could have killed him - my Mother and I had plans today. "Bill" did not even have the courtesy to wait until either my husband and I got up to thank us for Thanksgiving/our hospitality. My mother did not even have a chance to say goodbye to her granddaughter (they live 3 hours away). I could have woken up this morning to find my Mother simply gone. She said there was nothing she could do as they were in his vehicle. Is this rude of Bill or what?
2007-11-23 02:46:33 · 47 answers · asked by Karen H 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh, my God! That was so rude! Your mom would have put her foot down, however, something unpleasant must have cropped up between them and so he was hell bent on leaving! Don't take it to heart Sweetie! Sometimes things happen for the best. Look at the good side! Maybe they leaving early was better than if they had started fighting in your home! Later phone your mom and demand an explanation!!!
2007-11-23 06:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
This should have been addressed before marriage. Anyway, since they know english then it is rude on their part, but they are probably thinking that it is rude that you don't put any effort into knowing spanish either after having been married for 6 years. Many of us on here have had to learn the language with limited resources. Yet, you have all the resources to master the language and you don't use them. Most spanish speaking students would love to be able to practice the language with natives which is something that you should do with your inlaws... You are outnumbered, and the minority must bend to the majority. You should take some classes, get your hubby to help and start speaking to your inlaws in spanish to practice. You should also spend some time listening to their convos and trying to pick out words that you do understand and if you have a q about the word then don't be scared to ask.
2016-05-25 02:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by krystle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like not only is Bill rude, but he has some control issues. This behavior is very indicative of an abusive personality and the fact that your mom was unable to have any say in what happened may mean she really needs some help here! Have you seen any other instances, maybe more subtle ones, that just didn't sit right with you? Has your mom talked about any concerns or talked about other instances that concerned you? Understand that many abusers isolate their victims from their family members so that they feel they have no one else to turn to, thus giving the abuser even more control. Also understand that she may have been afraid to say anything because of threats he has made, or past abusive episodes from him. Being a grown woman, you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to, but talk to her alone and let her know your concerns; let her know that whatever happens, you are there.
Please, go to www.ndvh.org, they've got a lot of good information on domestic violence. Click on the "get educated" tab at the top and then the "am I being abused" tab on the left side. There is a list of red flags there that you can go over and even discuss with your mom. If she decides to look for info herself, or call any hotline, make sure you tell her not to search on a computer he has access to and if she calls anywhere, to call the time/weather line right after she hangs up, so he can't do a redial to see where she called. If you have anymore questions, please feel free to email me. I will pray for you and your mom.
Btw, please also know that if you say anything to Bill, though he may not say anything to you, he may go back and be even more abusive to your mom, so be careful about following the ignorant people who said to confront him.
2007-11-23 04:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but your mother should have said, Bill, we are not going ANYWHERE! If Bill the rude son of a b i t c h wanted to leave anyway, she should have said, if you want to leave, than leave. I will find my own way home, I'm spending time with my family. But, if I was in your mothers shoes, I would have made that son of a b i t c h stay, I would have told Bill you are not going anywhere. By the way, where the hell did your mom find this loser? Who the hell does he think he is?
I'm sorry dear, for what you went through.
But If I were you, I would give Bill a call, and ask his sorry a s s what the hell was his problem! Then talk to your mom about him, why he wanted to leave. I'm sorry but being "BORED" is a sorry a s s excuse.
I am truly sorry to hear what had happened yesterday.
But I am glad to hear you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Take Care,
Captain, Chris W T
ATP- Lear 45, B747- A318 - A380
CFI
2007-11-24 02:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by CaptainChris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's more to this picture than what meets the eye. I don't blame you for being terribly offended. But unless this man is a pathologically spoiled, narcissistic, self-centered jerk, then he didn't just wake up at 5 a.m. and announce that he was "bored" (when did he have time to get bored? He was asleep!), and something else is going on. It sounds like he was offended about something. That's not an excuse, but it could be what fueled this.
If I were you, I'd wait a day or two to let things settle down, then I'd call your mother and say that I was terribly upset about the sudden departure and that I needed to know what was going on. Obviously, your mother was terribly upset--and she knows that this is not normal and acceptable behavior. She was probably embarrassed. Take it easy on her...she may be finding out what her new husband is an idiot.
If you find out that there really was nothing going on other than your mother's husband having to service his selfish whims then he is ignorant. You should write him a letter and tell him that you were terribly offended and ask for more consideration in the future...then plan to spend time with your mother on your terms (as in, you go pick her up in your vehicle a few times a year...etc.). Be supportive of her, she's going to need it.
2007-11-23 03:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is very rude and selfish. But I am gonna be even more honest with you than most people on here. Your mom was real stupid for putting him before her own family. Your mom just followed his lead and that is so sad. She was obviously upset and doing what ever he wanted or he would probably leave her. My own mother always used to put me last and put men first. These type of women are so co-dependent, I can't stand it. If your mom had any respect for you and your daughter, she would have told her husband to go home and she will go home after she is done visiting her granddaughter and daughter. But she cried and followed him like a lost puppy. I think the real issue if your mom needs to grow some balls and stop letting a man make her decisions for her. You should talk to her and ask her how she could allow some new husband to interfere with her time with you. This very behaviour is the reason my mother and I have not spoken in years. I can't stand women who can't stand up for themselves and let men boss them around and make them feel bad.
2007-11-23 02:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It was definitely rude but what can you do? I dont know the dynamics of their relationship but I would tell your mom and Bill since he's a member of the family exactly how you felt. Let them know, that disappearing at 530 in the morning was not okay and you deserved a proper explanation as to why they were leaving.
2007-11-23 07:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by Rainey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very rude!!!
I am surprised your Mother did not
stay and let "Bill" leave by himself.
I hope your Mother is okay. Her
boyfriend seems like he may be
very controlling. Sorry to here that
your daughter, you, & your husband
were unable to spend more time
with your Mother. Give her a call
and make sure all is okay with her.
See if you can go visit her or have
her over again without "Bill".
Good Luck!!!
2007-11-23 02:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by EMT-207 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes very rude but maybe your mother did not want confrontation and have to take sides so she just went along with Bill. Don't be annoyed with your mother - just lock them in next time! Only kidding - sound like he is a bully and someone should give him a severe talking to.
2007-11-23 02:54:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sage 2nite 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
okay, he's a big jerk.
if he really cared about your family, he would have understood and let your mom have a good time.
my mom had a husband like that, they ended up getting a divorce.
and the worst part is, if they live 3 hours away then you never know what could be going on at the house.
i suggest you tell your mom that you have different feelings about this guy and tell her what you think.
don't say it in front of him though!
we wouldn't want anyone getting hurt.
2007-11-23 02:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋