any other Reform Jews here?

Question

Some people in this section have been rather scathing about Reform Judaism. I think it's bad enough when non Jews bash our religion, without my fellow Jews coming over all righteous!

And may I remind you: Hitler didn't give a damn whether a Jew was Reform, Conservative, or totally secular.

I've attended orthodox synagogues and hated the way the women are either tucked away behind the mechitsa, or else left to sit up in the rafters where all they do is chat incessantly. At least in a Reform shul, families can sit together and enjoy the service together!

Anyone else here Reform and resentful of the criticism you sometimes get?

st, well then it's a good job I don't care what you think! To brand me' anti semitic' and 'self hating' is totally stupid. If I was, I would hardly go to shul, would I? You are truly ignorant. I pity you.

Answer 1

I was brought up as a reform Jew in the UK. But reform Judaism in the UK is very different to in the USA - in the UK reform synagaogues stick quite strictly to the rules of Torah, apart from implementing a few changes to make the prayer service more enjoyable, such as allowing a few prayers to be read in English, and for men and women to sit together.

By comparison, reform synagogues in the USA are much much more liberal with the rules of accepted Jewish practice, and consequently elicit frequent derision from orthodox Jewry.

Londoner In Israel

(Edit: Are you from the UK too perhaps? Your question suggests that you view Conservative Judaism as nearer to secularism than Reform Judaism, which is the way it is in the UK. In the USA, it is the other way round, with reform synagogues being the most liberal of all.)

Answer 2

Well I'm hoping to become Orthodox and I'm rather resentful of the attitude many people have towards the Orthodox! People think Orthodox women live in boxes and that we're all hateful fundamentalists. However there are a few Orthodox even on this forum who aren't anything like that--if anyone gets a bad experience from an Orthodox person, they automatically assign their opinion to the whole group. In the shul I go to sometimes we're not tucked away anywhere, our section is right next to the men's. Plus I don't think it's fair what you said,
"At least in a Reform shul, families can sit together and enjoy the service together!"
You don't need to sit together to enjoy the sanctity of a service--women sit with their daughters and sons sit with their fathers, creating a special bonding time and a special space all to themselves, like if you and your mother had a favorite secret spot in the woods to spend time together in. I think it makes it more special. Nobody should criticize you for being Reform, but in a question you're saying you're resentful of the criticism you get, you shouldn't criticize others, I think.

P.S. I just want to make this note so I don't bring on a bad name--I am on the computer on Shabbat because although while I am studying for conversion, I am not converted yet and to observe Shabbat as a Jew is a sin.

Answer 3

Hitler has a lot to do with it. many people forget how Orthodoxy was affected by the Holocaust and how many lost Jews are out there not even knowing who they are. Or when someone is raised secular because the Holocaust etc. Now many people find out or seek more closeness with G-d and their roots and some have a difficult time saying ok today I am gonna be Orthodox. The critics never lived in your shoes or mine and as much as we may or may not want more they haven't had our experiences or understand or lack there of.

I had a talk with my Rabbi about who he notices most with interfaith relationships. He replied "Catholic & Jewish". We further discussed why, what is it they see in each other. There is obviously something as it is a trend we both picked up on. We agreed on the relation of Orthodoxy and having a head person one goes to for seeing if things are kosher. Also we talked about as much as a person is running from the hard rule of Catholic church or vice versa they see the basic foundation in each other. I wish we all could join together and do everything up to the par of G-d but first understanding is needed. Now more than ever. I think we can relate this to building of the third temple etc.

If we could just love each other to the point of wanting to understand why each of us are like the way we are, it would be a giant step toward the goal we all want. The goal we yearn for, the goal we think about yet never talk about or seek how to move forward..

Answer 4

I was raised in the Conservative Jewish synagogue and now I go to a Reform Jewish synagogue in San Francisco. My son was married there and the service was completely in Hebrew. Judaism is Judaism! as far as I'm concerned. It's a shanda for Jews to criticize each other especially when there are so many others out there ready to pounce on anything they see as negative about Jews. I've met Orthodox people (mostly the men) who act as though, if you are not Orthodox, you are "doing it wrong." I respectfully do not agree.

Just a further note: If it seemed that I was being critical of you, that certainly was not my intention. But I wish that, as Jews, we would be respectful of each other's beliefs. We are a family, aren't we?

Answer 5

An orthodox rabbi might invite a reform rabbi over yet must be hesitant to settle for such an invitation himself if he had any concerns the meal grew to become into no longer completely kosher. Jews and non-jews alike are invited to Bar Mitzvahs. Orthodox jews do tend to maintain themselves slightly insulated from the non-orthodox and gentile populations even with the undeniable fact that. Orthodox jews do properly known reform jews yet purely evaluate people who're jewish by making use of their mom as jews.

Answer 6

I understand your frustration, but isn't there enough Jew-bashing here without our bashing each other? You certainly have the right to be a Reform Jew, to find meaning in it and be proud of it. Heck, at least you identify with *some* kehillah, which too many Jews today don't. No one should criticize you for being not frum enough.
But OTOH, neither should you criticize those who are more frum. You can make a personal choice to reject the mechitsah without disparaging those who choose it.
Please don't allow your resentment to cloud your sense of peoplehood. Jews are all Jews, we need to stick together in a world in which we are so vastly out-numbered.
P.S. Nobody ever gave Adolf Hitler the right to decide who is or isn't a Jew. We decide that for ourselves. You're a Jew if you are, according to Halacha, observant or not.

Answer 7

You could take onboard the fact that all Christians are within that category of being reformed Jews to some extent. Moreover, before the establishment of the synagogues that have sprang to life over the past 1500, years of so. Jews were content to practise their religious beliefs within their households when the Romans's demolished the Third Jerusalem Temple. Albeit even the Passover is sometimes still practised within the home environment. So would the women sit in the kitchen while the males sat in the lounge.

Even-though, I am not a Jew, nor was my distant relatives from the past. Although they were very strong in the Lutheran flock, Hitler didn't like them either, if they didn't commit themselves to the Nazi party line.

You could class my beliefs as being Gnostic to Agnostic at times but that depends what mood I am in as being baptised in the Church of England when still in nappies like most babies.

God bless you all and hope those who are celebrating Thanks Giving also have a great weekend.

Answer 8

I am Modern Orthodox and in modern orthodoxy women are more active in shul.There is Women torah classes on monday and thursdays.Talmud Torah classes on tuesdays.There is family night where women and men sit in the same room with a small partition not as big about waist high and we have kabbalat shabbat service and marriv then we have a traditional shabbat meal followed by shabbat board games.So women at our shul rarely chat.Because they are also allowed to follow along.

Answer 9

All I will say on this is that if you are a Christian you certainly are not a Reform Jew. A Jew does not except Jesus was the Messiah so to make such a comparison show a limited education and not an informed distinction.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

raised reform-- i hate the criticism. is it from people who are insecure with their own religious path?? if you think yours is so great, why do you need to challenge others?

reform/conservative (the conserv. end of reform and the reform end of conserv.) works VERY well for me. i agree with your thoughts about orthodox services-- i feel no spiritual connection when i am cramped together with many other women only listening to the service and staring at a blank wall with maybe a bookshelf for decoration.

that doesn't work for me. this does. but if that works for someone else, while i would be interested to hear their feelings and understand why, i accept it fully.

to each his own. some people are so picky that they want to eliminate all of us from being jews.