My boyfriend is Christian and his ex-fiance is Buddhist who may be looking to convert religions. I'm not sure if that is her true intention or if she is trying to get closer to my now boyfriend. Because of schedules it is hard for me to attend the social bible group. She showed up last week at the church when I was sick and he invited her to his social bible group which she showed up for. Unfortunately he didn't tell me about this for he thought I'd react in a way he seems trivial for he states that he has been praying for her and he is so happy she's discovering a new religion.
For their groups, they usually all go out for dinner first or some social activity and then a bible study. He had picked her up for all of this and thought it was trivial to tell me for she only needed a ride. Next week's bible study will be at her house. Why do I feel so jealous about all of this? Should this be trivial if I was looking at it thru a Christian's eyes?
2007-11-22 20:02:27 · 8 answers · asked by Ash L 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Why should you be jealous - stupid to waste your life on such an emotion.
2007-11-26 20:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. The best way to resolve this issue is to sit down with your boyfriend, explain how you feel about all of this, explain the problems you're having with it, find out what HIS feelings about this are. Tell him that you don't feel this is trivial information and you feel a bit betrayed by him not telling you, especially considering their history together. Don't make it an attack on him. Use "I" statements "I think" "I feel" "I would like". Talking to him about it is the first way to start getting to the root of the issue. It's very likely that there is absolutely nothing going on and he's trying to be a good friend and help her with the conversion. The most important thing is to trust your boyfriend. She's his ex for a reason. He's also with you for a reason. Don't give in to this jealousy thing at least until you've talked about it and given him time to either make a change or a compromise with you. If he's not willing to listen to that and at least try, you may want to consider why you're together if there can't be communication and action to back up the talking.
I hope this helps.
EDIT: Nope Morgaine, that's not harsh, that's honest. We women are scandalous, ruthless, conniving beings that will do nearly anything to get what we want....this is why I never once said "Trust his ex not to do anything" because you can't. But you need to have enough faith in your man to make the relationship work. But Morgaine is right about us women. And none of us can deny it.
2007-11-22 20:15:07 · answer #2 · answered by lupinesidhe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's either incredibly naive or he's digging the attention. Either way, he's playing right into her hands. I don't care what religion we're talking about, women are territorial predators. Sorry, Sisters, if that seems harsh, but that's the way we are. She's on the hunt.
That chick may or may not be ready to convert, but she's more than ready to put you out of the picture. He's either cheating on you or he's an idiot. Either way, you can do better, but if you must have him, ask him to show respect for you by observing some social boundaries - no offering rides, no attending functions at her house without you, no letting her tag along, no spending time alone with her even if it's in a public place. If he tries to justify any of that, he's playing you.
A real boyfriend who cares about you won't make you look foolish in front of other people. He's exposing you to ridicule by not making you his priority. Don't fall for that "true Christian" line - guys will use things like that to try and get their way.
2007-11-22 20:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by Morgaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
Although you have described some information, I am sure that your story has a lot more detail to it.
Therefore, first let me say this before getting into he issue of 'jealousy.' I do believe you have a "trust" issue with your boyfriend. There seems to be a problem with communication. He obviously is not telling you things until.. "after" the fact. He is to blame as much as she is and I honestly think it is wonderful that his 'ex' is interested in things pertaining to our Lord and Savior. However, I believe she needs to be seeking a relationship with Christ with an elder or a pastor rather than just going to Bible studies.
She could be authentic and really seeking Christ, and if that is the case, wonderful! Praise the Lord. And of course too, she could also be pretending ...in order to try and get her boyfriend back. The closeness of your relationship with Jesus is critcal here, because you 'need' spirtual insight. Does that make sense?
Nevertheless, Jesus does not want you to be "jealous." That is sin. Period. In order to understand about jealousy. We must first define it in its proper perspective because there are three types of jealously described in Scripture. We are going to examine the one that you are describing which is regarded as worse than wrath or bitter envy as characteristic of eathy, demonic wisdom and the source of all disorder and wickedness. See Proverbs 27:4; James 3:14 and James 3:16.
We are to "love" our enemies and do good to those who don't do good toward us. We are to have the mind of Christ dear friend. Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:27.
May our Lord give you His insight, wisdom in this matter and may you continue to see the Face of the One who died on Calavry...Jesus Christ.
Sincerely in Christ Jesus,
lostnsavd...
2007-11-23 04:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by lostnsavd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True, if he has strong religious beliefs, he should be less likely to stray, but this is no guarantee. Also, if he is a committed Christian, he should also be able to be sensitive to your feelings and totally honest with you.
If his intentions are honourable, I would still expect him to be up front about his dealings with her AND to avoid too much contact with his X, simply out of respect for you and the natural insecurity you would feel at him spending so much time with someone he had a close relationship with.
Talk to him openly about your concerns. If he is as decent as his religion expects, he should be understanding and supportive.
2007-11-22 20:13:27 · answer #5 · answered by candolim_imp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question answers the question. Of course you would have to be concerned, if you were willing to do anything, within reason, to keep him. But you aren't even willing to adjust your schedule to be at his Bible studies...
He may not be the right person for you because if he was, you wouldn't be posting here, you'd be at the Bible study!
2007-11-22 20:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Pragmatism Please 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
Do not underestimate the power of the flesh.
It seems strange that a Bible study group would have physical manna before spiritual manna.
Are they all discerning it spiritually???
As for the ex, surely there are sisters in the group that can fetch her etc.................
I think I have hinted strong enough.
.
2007-11-22 20:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends what's more important for you, your boyfreind or for someone to be saved.
2007-11-22 20:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by Wally 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋