28 year old male living at home! What's so bad about it?

Question

I am a single, straight, 28 year old male that lives at home with his parents and other adult siblings. I am very successful in my career and I am highly educated as well, so it's not like I am a lazy person as some may want to believe when they hear I choose to live at home. My parents actively encourage their kids to live at home as long as they would like and rent free of course. What I don't understand is the jealousy people have of my living arrangements. If they are so jealous, most of them, I am sure, could make arrangments to move back home. I am the brunt of many nasty comments/jokes like this due to many forms of jealousy. It is worth noting that these arrangements did not come easy. I had to cultivate this great relationship with my family over a number of years. So it's not like anything was doled out to me. Plus, this is the least our parents can do considering all the years of joy we have given them in the past. They get a kick out of that when I tell them that.

But I digress. Another thing I don't understand is why girls my age claim that this is such a turn off. Why can't a relationship flourish if I live at home? Oh, I get it, they want to have premarital sex etc. Forget it, I don't believe in that at all. But that doesn't mean that they can't come over or that we can't go out. People are really silly when you think about it. And it's not like I am a "mama's boy" either. I simply respect the other people that I live with. I try not to be home too late and when I am I call etc. One more thing that I get abused over is the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss. I have been so busy with school and work that this simply was not a possibility. When I am done with my masters next year, I will give it a shot again. I have only gone on 2 dates in my entire life and that was when I was 23. I think most people from my type of background as mentioned above have little to no experience with relationships either.

Your thoughts are appreciated!

Answer 1

I'm going to be brutally honest with you here, because I feel you need to hear it.

You are absolutely full of yourself if you think people are actually jealous of your living situation! I'll tell you what they might be envious of, and that's simply that you pay no rent...which at your age is technically considered freeloading, despite how much your parents "encouage" it. You're the brunt of nasty comments and jokes because people find the fact that you're nearly 30 and still living with mommy and daddy pathetic! And women find it a turn off because it's just that! Who wants to go home with a man and have a night of super quiet sex because they don't want to wake up your mom and dad?? And then, when it's time to wake up in the morning, they get to be greeted by your parents and your other freeloading siblings! No woman on the face of the planet wants that!!

If you're so successful in your career then you probably have enough money to be a big boy and live on your own. Then, if you get a girlfriend they won't find your situation a turn off. It's entirely possible to have a good relationship with your parents and live on your own.

And if you don't agree with me, then realize this...you're NEVER going to be in the kind of relationship where you can be with a woman and properly grow in the relationship. How are you ever going to be in a serious relationship when you actually want to bring a woman back to your parent's house??

Again, no one's jealous, buddy...and I think it's actually quite hilarious that you think they are.

Answer 2

Sorry dude. That's american culture. Its not the same all over the world. But here, after a certain age, maturity in ones social status..for a man at least, is based most solidly on how much independence he has. Yes it soooo different for a man.

I had to move back with my mom for a period of time earlier this year before I got a new place, and trust me, I had to ACCEPT the fact that I was going to have nooooooooooo play. Why would I bring a girl over to my moms house? How would that work? How would a new person in your life, with OR without sex, really feel comfortable being in someone elses house, not only having to get to know you, but thw ENTIRE family too?

Hey not saying it cant be done, but its not popular ...at all. And I'd crack jokes at you too, playfully just for fun, not to be mean,...but it would'nt stem from jealousy.

And the whole no premarital sex thing is obviously a way of life for you, and it goes hand in hand with how your living. So dont fret. I actually know a guy with the same principles as you, and he just got married Found a girl with the same values. Go figure. Dont let them get you down.... BUT be very aware, generally speaking, girls will find that as lame over here. That's just the way it is.

You know those burdens of society...well thats one for men.

Answer 3

Most people would say that no matter how 'well educated' and 'independent' you are, that you need to get out of your mother's basement and go live your life. However, I am not one of those people.

I won't criticize you for living with your parents. In fact, I almost commend you. I mean, you must have a seriously awesome relationship with your rents to still be living with them. I think my parents will be in my grandpa's celler in body bags if I'm still living at home when I hit your age.

Still, I would suggest that you eventually get out of the house for good and live on your own terms, so to speak. I mean, no offense, but in most cases no matter how successful or intelligent or independent you are as a person, if you are still living under your parents' roof, the chances of you being able to hold on to a girlfriend, especially at your age are rather slim. Most women at 28 would want to move in with their boyfriends or have their boyfriends move in with them or something like that. There's nothing particularly wrong with your situation, I'm simply making a friendly suggestion.

I mean, if you are comfortable where you are now, then there is no real reason for you to leave anytime soon. And if you search hard enough you probably will find a chick who is willing to put up with where you currently abide for a while. Eventually though you are probably gonna find a girl who you really like and wanna marry, etc, and then you'll have to move out.

Anyways, to flat out answer your question, nah, there's nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as you get along with them. That's a beautiful thing and hey, it's totally rent-free after all like you said!

Answer 4

I don't think it is about premarital sex. It is about who you are as a man and your choices. Living independently shows responsibility. And confidence in yourself. The comments and jokes are to be expected. Most people want their freedom from their family so most people wouldn't understand your situation. I don't think it is about jealousy at all. Most of the people I know wouldn't want to live with their parents again. If you are highly educated, you would know all this. And you would know that other people's opinions are just that. If a woman cares enough about you, she will get to know you and your family and then she will understand and that is all that truly matters, isn't it?

Answer 5

Matt, since you'll be single the rest of your life, it's fine if you live at home for as long as you can.

Why do you care about the opinion of anybody who knows you?

If your intention is to "give it a shot" after you get your masters degree, then don't bother. Giving it a shot will not get you to first base.

Answer 6

i read no more, if you have a job and can support your self you need to leave the nest, no matter how much your parents dont care, they still see you as a baby and you probley act like one and thats why it turns women off, not b/c of sex but b/c you still live with mommy, and why have a wife when your mom is still cooking for you and cleaning your room??? dose she comb your hair too? "now bobby go put on yo pejammas and let mama comb yo hair"

Answer 7

Personally, I think its best to stay with one's parents unless they are getting married..Home cooked meal, more cash=more stability in the future..Why waste $ on rent/ living expenses when you can save $ and still enjoy the comforts of a home?

Answer 8

well at least your employed... my exhusband is 48 years old.. has been unemployed for almost 2 years, and lives at home with his 74 year old mother who works full time and recieves social security and supports his lazy butt.. his reason for not working? he says he cant find a job and hes been trying to get a job at Dollar Store..lol I think the real reason is because he knows they will garnish his wages for back childsupport of about 4 grand.. and garnish his taxes at the beginning of the year.. he dosnt sound as tho he feels bad about not working, he's lazy, and when he gets bored he sits at the bar, tossing back 12oz's with his moms money and often times you can find him rolling up a joint to smoke.. also funded by his mother.. he also had temp custody of our 14 year old bc he was having really bad probs in school, so now he is homeschooling him and his mom pays for that also.. so at least you work, but i need to add my 2cents in for that.. you work you need to pay for your living expenses.... my 17 year old son works and goes to school and i dont let him live here for free, i charge him rent that pays for his share of the elec, cable, rent and gas in my car...
your parents raised you and paid your bills as a child, now that your a adult i dont see anything wrong with living at home but what i do see wrong is, that you dont pay for your share of living expenses...
and yes i do send money to my ex to help support our son, something that he hasnt done in years.. i will never lower myself down to his standards and not help to support our son.. or should i say i send grandma money to help her with his expenses..

Answer 9

yeah, its called let go of mommy's apron strings... birth til abt 21, 22, 23 or so i can understand... after that u should be working on ur future. buying ur own car, investing in ur own house...doing ur own laundry, making ur own bed, buying ur own groceries... etc etc... yeah

turn off. plan on staying single.

jealous? Maybe if i were 3 yrs old.

Answer 10

A lion in the wild, is the KING ,and not the one in the zoo.