hell there i am living with my fiancee and every time she promisses sex she turnes it down like okay we had an child together and ever since like she gives an time and adate then when i go and do it and like get ready she downs it and changes her mind all the time and she is all i got becaouse i am afraid that i might not be able to find another gf what can i do????
2007-11-22 17:39:18 · 17 answers · asked by foxyfarther88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is just unsure. If your wearing protection, I don't see what's wrong with having sex. Ask yourself, does she hate you in some way? Is she in a good mood whenever sex is about to begin?
2007-11-22 17:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by iseeforks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd ask her (very nicely) to stop promising sex if she isn't going to follow through. Don't be accusatory, just focus the conversation on how that behavior makes you feel. Explain that it isn't fun to have certain sexual expectations, only to be constantly shot down at the last minute. She should understand that this is frustrating and disappointing for you. I'm sure if she were the one wanting sex and you were the one making false promises, she wouldn't enjoy it either.
I would then try to get to the root cause(s) of her not wanting to have sex with you. Are her hormones out of whack since she had the baby? (that can happen) Does she just have a naturally low sex drive? Is she not attracted to you (anymore) for some reason? Is she seeing/in love with someone else? Is she just tired all the time from having to care for a child? Is she under a lot of stress? There are a million and one reasons both physical and psychological why she may not be in the mood as much as you'd like.
Was your sex life good for both of you before the baby? Do you know what really turns her on? Are there things you could do to help her be more rested and less stressed as a new mother (that maybe would leave her with more energy for sex)? Do you know what makes her feel beautiful and appreciated and do you do those things or are you just worried about satisfying your own needs when the two of you are intimate? Is it possible she knows deep down that you aren't 100% into her, only settling for her because you fear you'd be alone otherwise?
Good luck. Hope you can resolve these problems and have a long, happy life.
2007-11-22 18:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by Janineisacoolsouthernchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not going to make this situation any better. In fact, it will probably make it worse. Talk to her and voice your concerns. Then if things don't change, well marriage is not going to help you there. Better to be single and looking than married and can't even look. The best predicter of future behavior is past behavior. You don't want to be allways begging for sex from your wife. She seems to be useing it as a weapon. This is a bad sign!!! You'll find another.
2007-11-22 17:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by JOHN B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try setting aside a night for just the two of you...even if it's after your baby is asleep, do something special together...a romantic bubble bath, a massage, that sort of thing, and take your time concentrating on her and her body and making her feel good...instead of just asking for sex, make an effort at getting her worked up so she can enjoy things too. All too often guys assume that we women can get worked up as quickly as they can and just go at it without any foreplay, which isn't the case. Good luck with it!
2007-11-22 17:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to consider a lot of things not only the sexual thing! But I think you better talk to her and tell her how you feel about it and if you don't feel happy with your relationship go for what you think is right. Don't be afraid that you won't find another one. Take your time and before you decide think for a hundred times.
2007-11-22 17:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by _______definitely rude__________ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago did you have a kid? Maybe she's feeling insecure about her body.
Or maybe she thinks you're a complete a s s, judging by the last line of what you said about being with her because you can't find anyone else, you probably are, and she probably doesn't want to just give in to being used for one thing.
2007-11-22 17:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Velynne_86 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try warming her up by treating her nice all of the time. Compliment her, and do nice things to make her know how much you appreciate her. Women need to be stimulated way before they even think about having sex with you. They need to feel loved and appreciated. That is how a women initially starts thinking about wanting to be with you sexually. Women are not as visually stimulated, as they are emotionally stimulated. It won't be so hard to get her to "make love to you" if you emotionally stimulate her first. Your fiancee does not want to just have sex, she wants to feel your love.
2007-11-22 17:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait on her to be ready she may be tired of veing the fiancee and she may feel udes. Marry the woman. Make and honest women out of her. And stop committing fornication with the woman.
2007-11-22 17:43:50 · answer #8 · answered by Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get counselling if u want the relationship to work. If u both dont then its better to break off sooner rather that later
Your not gonna get any younger so find some other chick
2007-11-22 17:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe shes afraid of getting pregnant at the wrong time. she promises it to make you happy, but when it comes down to the moment she just cant do it. its perfectly natural. give her time. dont force her into it. just let her be.
2007-11-22 17:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by Katelynn *WelcomeTo TheJungle* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋