I'm not self confident?

Question

I'm not overweight, and im not bad looking.
but i can't seem to get any self confidence. I'm always putting myself down and douting myself.

Is there anything that can help me?
..Anything i can do?

Answer 1

Tell yourself that your amazing even if you don't believe it. Every time you find yourself putting you down stop and tell yourself how great you are. I remember one day I was walking to a class saying to myself why did I wear this I look like a fat cow and my hair looks awful today.. anyway I stopped myself and starting singing (in my head not aloud) I'm too sexy for my shirt (then I started making up other lines since I don't really know the lyrics) Anyway almost immediatly people started looking at me and saying hi and smiling and I felt better too and all I did was change what I was thinking. It was the strangest thing but now I do it all the time its great.

Answer 2

Yes, Look into Yoga and Meditation. Those things connect you with your inner Self. That is where your power and Self-confidence has its basis. You just need to reconnect with that.

Get personal instruction if possible... also a couple Yoga sites in the Leap Over Web Clutter section of this website. Also, the first book on this website might be helpful in understanding how to reconnect with the inner Self.

Answer 3

There 3 ways to solve this problem COMPLETELY.

1) Think: what do other peoplethink about you. If they don't like you, believe that THERE ARE PEOPLE TO LOVE YOU! Remember that God loves you and your parents do too! And if they LIKE you, then there's no problem. If they like you then there're nothing wrong with you, right?
2) If you can see and hear and move and laugh - it's great! Not everyone is so lucky! Do you need to love youself or do you want others to like you? You're absolutely normal and if someone told something - he's impolite and maybe stupid - just forgive'em! Forgiveness is good
3) DOUBTING yourself is better than to be SURE in your own emtiness. Any doubting includes a grain of SURE. Just use that grain!

good luck

Answer 4

It helps to get a therapist or a good book on Positive Self Talk.
Here are some good ideas:
1. Do something that gets your heart rate up a bit like, walking, running, biking, and swimming.
2. Eat Whole, Organic foods like: Broccoli, Cabbage, Organic Brown Rice, Beans, Spinach, Sweet Potato, Apples, and other fruits and vegetables in their Natural State.
3. Avoid eating corn, white bread, white rice, white potatoes, candy, sodas, chips, and anything else that you already know you shouldn’t be eating.
4. Drink clean water as your beverage of choice. Avoid Fruit drinks and fruit juices (unless YOU juice them yourself)
5. Stop smoking, drinking beer & wine, and drinking coffee.
6. Get 8 hours of sleep each night.
7. Hang out with people who want to be healthy.
8. Avoid anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Tone up the muscles:

1. Join a gym and get a trainer.
2. If you’re short on cash, start a light stretching & yoga regimen.
3. Do push-ups, and light dumbbell curls for the upper body.
4. As I said above, walk, run, swim, and or bike
5. Take an aerobics class, a yoga class, or some other fitness class.
6. Join the local YMCA..
7. Buy or borrow this book by Bill Pearl called GETTING STRONGER.
In the book, he describes everything you need for a great fitness plan.

Mental Health:

1. Get a friend to talk to each day about your feelings.
2. If you have some money or insurance, get a counselor to talk to.
3. Learn how to meditate.
4. Join a support group for the issue you’re dealing with.
5. Ask your Higher Self (or God) for guidance.
6. Start keeping a diary or journal about your feelings & thoughts.
7. Write a ‘gratitude’ list every night.
8. Do something that makes you happy each day like: listen to your favorite music, draw, paint, write, or anything creative.
9. Do something for someone else who needs help.
10. If the above suggestions don't improve your mental health, talk with your therapist about the possibility of taking some medication.

Take care of yourself

Yam King

Answer 5

Confidence is learned, not inherited. So if you lack confidence, it probably means that you were criticised or undermined as a child. Don’t panic – this lack of confidence isn’t permanent; you can still change.

What you think, will happen. If you think you’re a failure, you’ll fail. Confident people think themselves successful and they find success. They literally run a kind of internal ‘home movie’ where they are doing well.

I often feel unsure when I’m doing something new. This statement sounds negative. Isn’t it bad to feel unsure? But actually, this is a positive strategy, because it’s no good feeling falsely confident. With something new, feeling unconfident is your mind’s way of alerting you to your lack of experience. You can solve this problem by gaining the relevant experience (or at least, as much as you can). So with anything new – that speech, those interview questions, that new skill – get background information and practice ahead of time. Rehearsal will raise your performance and, in turn, raise your confidence.

Help other people feel better: approach them, be friendly, ask questions, compliment them. Then, not only will they like you, you’ll also be too busy concentrating on them to worry about yourself.

Walk Faster. One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

Compliment other people. When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Speak up. During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

Work out. Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

Answer 6

I am the same way...the thing i try to do to help myself is walk around naked and sleep naked. Don't walk with your head down either cause that shows other people that you self confident as well...and always tell yourself true beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Answer 7

You don't get natural confidence over thing that will make you nervous. Remember that but depending on your age make a difference to see where you are versues outside in the world.

Answer 8

do what I do...only give a **** about things that matter. As a mortal, you could die at any time, so some **** we do and not even realize it is not worth the hastle. When people say they have no regrets it means they've come to the same realization...of course they have regrets, they just crapped them out.

Answer 9

self-confidence is a process and cannot be obtained overnight. just be yourself, try NOT compare yourself to others, and enjoy life. eventually your self confidence will build and strengthen =)

Answer 10

Keep asking others what to do.