I dont know what to do for our wedding!!!?

Question

I am engaged to be married in august of 2008. and my fiance planned most of the wedding already. but now its down to the small details and she asks me to help. when i help she doesnt like my answers, EVER. so i get discouraged. and i am no longer in the mood to help. and to be totally honest, i just have a hard time paying attention anyways.so she gets mad. i just need to know, do all women act this way when planning a wedding? and what are guys expected to do?

Answer 1

Sometimes we do act this way. I admit when I was planning my wedding I asked my guy but I took what he said in to consideration. To us our wedding day is the day we commit ourselves to you and we want it perfect becuse we will spend the rest of our lives together. Try sitting down and talking to her when it's just you and tell her that your feeling discouraged and that you really do want to help but you feel like when you say something that she dissmisses it. My now husband did that once and I didn't know that was what I was doing after that I let him help make the details and we had a beautifull wedding.

So just talk to her hun it will help.

Answer 2

When planning our wedding, I always asked him what his opinion was on all of the details. If he didn't seem interested, I chose. If he had an opinion, then we talked it out.
On a side note, if you can't agree or work out the details of your wedding, how will you work out the details of your life together? There will be many more occasions to come that will require a team approach so work on it now! Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes, they are like this with lots of things.

This is a very small preview of how your marriage is going to go. Get ready.

>> when i help she doesnt like my answers, EVER.

This will not change. She will ask you a question and not like your answer. Then she will get on the phone with her friends and sisters and "fish" around until she gets an answer she likes. It will never be your answer that comes out on top.

>> its down to the small details and she asks me to help

This is what her Maid of Honor and Bride's Maids are supposed to be doing.

This is not your party. It's her's. A marriage ceremony is for the bride, not the groom. It you are like the 98.7% of the rest of us red blooded american guys, you would just hop on down to the court house and say, "I do."

>> i just have a hard time paying attention anyways.so she gets mad.

They start a project that you suggest they don't get involved with. But, your sensitive to their feelings and are very carefull not to mention anything about their lack of skills or knowledge of this area. Does she take your advice? No. And she never will.

So, she starts something and gets stuck in the middle and then MAKES it your job to get her out of it or to finish something that you tried to avoid getting involved in in the first place.

Before she involves herself in any type of questionable project, warn her that you want no part of it and you have no intentions of bailing her out of it if it goes sour.

Good Luck

You have until August to come to your senses.

Wait! I'm not done.

>> my fiance planned most of the wedding already.

Let me ask you this one thing. How much of what she planned so far would she have honestly allowed you to have a say in?

I didn't think so.

Tell her that since you had no say so far, you wish to have no say now. Why should that change just because SHE decides it should? It didn't when you thought it should.

I'll pray for you.

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Oh, crap. I'm still not done.

Before you do this, go talk to some men. I mean old guys. Ask them about what ended their first marriages. Why didn't it work out? What would they have done differently if they could do it again? Would they try again with the same girl or was she a disaster looking for a place to happen?

Do your homework now and save yourself lots of grief and money later.

Don't forget what Rod Stewart said:

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."–Rod Stewart

Best Wishes

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Answer 4

I think a lot of brides want their men to be interested in the planning of the wedding, and to offer help and suggestions, but ultimately (the brides) want to make the final decisions themselves. Sounds crazy, but its often true. So, hang in there, and hopefully after the wedding she will turn back into her regular self! ;-)

Answer 5

just tell her that they only part of the day that matters to you is being married to her at then end of it and ask if there is someone else whose opinion she values that you can call for her like her mom, sister, MOH, etc..

tell her that you appreciate her asking for your opinion but you trust her taste completely and whatever she chooses will be fine..

she will probably calm down with decisions made together after the wedding but please get premarital counseling to discuss how decisions will be made for both of you once you are married.. otherwise she might just keep doing this to you the rest of your life..

Answer 6

Yes they do. Just agree with everything she says and just mention what you think she would want and if she denies it, it's okay. She is just bouncing her ideas off of you so she won't be talking to herself literally and not technically. Good luck.