There was a time when I was at 4-H camp and was told that I had to forgive the other counselor at the camp because of his family life he came from. does that give him the right to sexually harass and make inappropriate touching?
Ex-gf/bf whatever do you forgive them if they abused you, or just broke your heart, stolen from you, wrecked your car....
Your parents who abused you but some how seem to not remember that in their memories of my childhood. Or the sickening part is that they act one way towards you and are like angels or perfect teacher to others or specially other children, when you were treated like dirt.
What about that parent who seems to be the saint who sits with her sick mother in the nursing home day after day, but can't take 1/2 hour to come visit you when you only live 7 miles from that nursing home.
Tell me how do you forgive them, and move on, and still love them, and tolerate them at holidays and be able to spend time with them....
2007-11-22 15:39:54 · 6 answers · asked by Artist Wanna Be 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
as for the ex's and that boy at camp for the most part you don't have to deal with them ever again.... so where or not you forgive them... doesn't matter.... you never see them again hopefully.
2007-11-22 15:40:49 · update #1
Oh yea... one last thing.... I am an adult... 30 something...lol...am I just being childlish and holding on to stuff that doesn't matter... YES I SEE A THERAPIST.... and I journal now and then..
2007-11-22 15:42:15 · update #2
This has nothing to do with who my therapist is.... actually maybe I do need a new therapist to deal with the crap in my life that I can't let go of..... But how do you dive into that....
2007-11-22 15:54:45 · update #3
This is my rule about forgiveness. I don't let people use their past as an excuse first of all, but here is my rule:
I forgive ONCE and only once, the second time they act badly they are gone. Otherwise you create a vicious cycle
Some of your situations though don't have anything to do with forgiveness, you just have crappy people in your life, I am dealing with this too...it sucks when it's family!
2007-11-22 15:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by paperpenandtea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a lot of anger! Not saying you aren't entitles to be angry, but permit me to explain something. when someone offends us, physically, mentally, intentional or not, it upsets us, or for want of a better word, makes us angry. Forgiving is NOT about letting the offender off the hook, it is about YOU letting go of the situation so the anger won't fester and fester and ruin your life. Forgiveness is freely given without expectation, but then you take on the responsibility of ensuring that the circumstances that led to the original offense are to the best of your ability not ever presented to the offender again. For instance, if some one inappropriately touched you, you now know that this is expected behavior from this person, and you do not give them the opportunity to get close enough to you to re-offend. Forgiving is really good for YOUR soul, but you should never FORGET the lessons you learned from the situation. I wish you the strength to face your demons head on and to let go of them all so you can enjoy your life.
2007-11-25 01:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change therapists, this one isn't doing you any good. Your bitterness is eating you alive. The only person you have to forgive in these instances is yourself. You cannot control anyone else's behavior, only your own.
2007-11-22 15:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Forgive" comes from two words
fore as in before, and
give as in giving someone something hat they did not earn
Example
The all righteous perfect God demands a penalty for our sins. God decided to pay this penalty for our sins be sending his perfect sinless son, Jesus to pay the ultimate penalty for our transgressions.
Jesus come here to earth knowing ahead of time that he would be whipped beaten, and so on to pay the debt or penalty for our sin. He did this knowing us and knowing that it is our nature to sin or be imperfect. Jesus choose to FORE GIVE us. WE did not earn forgiveness, and Jesus decided to take the punishment for us before we could even ask for it.
Forgiving is an act of compassion to other people
It is also the first step of moving on to better things and people in life
If we choose not to forgive, we by that choice pull along that baggage and soon it becomes a part of who we are, rather than where we have come from.
Forgiveness it done by putting a voice to the thoughts and saying to yourself, your friends and God. "I forgive you" Then throw the hurt away. remember "no fishing"
Good luck and Blessing to your life
Thomas
tlindsey3417@gmail.com
2007-11-22 15:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by tlindsey3417@verizon.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems unless we forgive, or avenge, we eat ourselves alive--- From the inside out!
2007-11-22 15:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by screaming monk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forgiveness has to come from the heart but it's not a requirement to be a good person. don't forgive if you don't want to. it will kill your soul
2007-11-22 15:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by info.girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋