seriously hard for me to deal with this life! i dont know what to do.. anymore?

Question

k so looooong story short.. my mom cheated on my dad, she lied to my sister and i, kicked my dad out, i came home about a month after the divorce to a stranger in my house.. turned out to be my moms boyfriend. dissowned my sister over my sister not liking the boyfriend pretty much.. (now my sister lives with my dad) and around this time i found out about my mom cheating on my dad. i found out my mom told her boyfriend that she made a mistake in wanting a family and kids.. and she feels its time to start focussing on taking care of her self and what she wants. she doesnt even care about me. she doesnt talk to me about anything except herself, i cant live with my dad because he cant afford to take care of me, and he doesnt have room. my mom doesnt know i know that she cheated and my dad doesnt know that im having a hard time living this way, neither does my mom.. when my sister told my mom how she felt about everything.. she got kicked out..

sorry.. i dont know exactly what im asking for here. encouragement i guess, advice maybe. im probably not going to make any huge changes right now, im not ready.. im just sick of not being able to talk about any of this.. i guess i just want to hear what everyone has to say, maybe ill get the chance to look at this from a new point of view.

thanks for all of your answers.

im 16 years old

oh yeah, my mom cheated on my dad for about 4 years. they got divorced a little over a year ago, and my sister just turned 18.. shes still in highschool

im not thinking of committing suicide. and forgive me for not wanting this kind of life style. seriously.. if youre just going to tell me that i dont deserve to be sad about this just because other peoples lives are harder than mine.. then dont answer please

Answer 1

First of all, if you want to live with your dad and are still a minor then he can sue your mom for child support. If you're an adult get a job to help pay your own way so living with your father won't be an added expense to him.
It sounds like mom is having a midlife crisis. (These things don't just happen to men and even happen to younger people who may have started out young.) It is painful to think maybe our parent regrets having us. Though her saying to her boyfriend might have been her way of trying to make herself believe it.
If I was that miserable I'd be bunked up with my sis at my dads house.
Best of luck. I hope things work out for you and soon!
EDIT:
Well since you are a minor I'd tell Dad you can not live with mom anymore. He can go after her for child support. Whether she works or not she has an obligation to her children. The courts will force her to work or she faces dead beat parent laws. You're old enough to do some babysitting to earn some spending money to help out some.

Answer 2

Nobody has an easy life, i can tell you that.

Yeah, some people are more lucky than others... but we all have difficulties we have to face. I think the best decision you can make right now is maybe opening yourself up to people. Maybe some close friends and your dad. Get a journal and write about how you feel in that. All these things will really help you let loose and relax. (or i hope so)

I most definately think it's not right your mom thinks she needs to be just thinking about herself... yes it's important that we all still treat ourselves decent... but ESPECIALLY when you're a parent the last thing on your mind should be your own good will. Your kids should always be first even if you hate it. But unfortunately you can't force someone to change... everyone is who they choose to be. Maybe you could look into staying with another relative?

Divorces aren't pretty things. My dad cheated on my mom and now both my parents have new partners. At first i was really depressed and i couldn't look at my dad for a long time without hating him for what he did. I didn't like having new parents, infact i didn't like change at all. But like i said before, once people make a decision it's hard to make them think differently. Sometimes people just aren't meant for eachother, and you should look at the situation more like would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't love you? Who you didn't love? Would your force someone to love you? Or would you rather start over again? Sometimes when people get divorces, they're for the best. We kids just don't understand that right off the bat.

All in all, life will go on. Even sometimes when we feel like nobody understand or cares, there are still some people on this planet that love you dearly. Keep your chin held high, someday you won't even have to communicate with your mom if you don't want to.

Answer 3

Can you stay with a grandparent? An aunt? This really is not a healthy environment for you to be living in. It's depressing. If your dad was able to afford a home while supporting your mom and 2 kids...why can he not afford you and your sister now? Sleeping on his sofa would be a better alternative to what you're dealing with now. Your mom is a very selfish person, and she will someday regret what she has done. Don't let her dysfunctional lifestyle prevent you from finishing school and reaching goals in your own life. I wish you all the best

Answer 4

Suggest to your dad that you and your sister could share a room, and that he could get support payments from your mom. Not having room isn't a good enough excuse. Tell him how you feel and ask him to help you. No one should have to live with a mother that doesn't want her. I'm sorry that has happened to you.

The other alternative is to do your very best in school and try to get into college when you are 18 with scholorships. Course you can do this from your dads place too. Good luck honey.

Answer 5

That is true about child support, talk to your dad about it. It is probably the best thing to do. Im so sorry and I hope that everything works out. I know I wasnt a help but help your dad try to make it work out.

Okay look, I know she's your mother but there is no reason to respect her desicion. If she didnt want kids she shouldve thought about that! Its all her fault, its not yours, your sisters, or your dads fault! I don't know why your are looking for cheating to be a reasonable decision; what she did is dispicable.

Answer 6

Go live with your dad or anyone else. You are not in a good place,your mom gave birth but her behavior is that of a selfish person who shouldn't be a mom. I'm sorry to say I've seen this before and it never ends well if you stay and leaving your mom doesn't mean you don't love her. It means you have to SAVE YOURSELF,please don't let a bad parent ruin your life get out before it gets worst.

Answer 7

Go live with your father and make a family unit work. What we cannot afford sometimes is the greatest blessing. You are still injured by the divorce and your mom's selfish focus will only grow worse as you tolerate her lifestyle or she thinks you are tolerating it. I would also pass on this question to her to let her know how you feel especially as you leave.

Answer 8

you NEED TO TALK TO YOUR DAD,he needs to know your feelings and the life your having to deal with. there are things he can do.He can request a court hearing on custody that you and your sister can tell a judge the facts of how your mom treats you and the stress she has put you under.your father can request support for you and your sister and your mom could be required to pay child support to your dad.This would enable him to afford a larger place and the things you need.
Never give up and except defeat,there is always things to be done to better your life and conditions.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS and hope this helps.

Answer 9

this isn't an easy thing ,but moving out at 16 is harder.does this this boyfriend abuse you first off?if not then think about your relationship with your parents.were they happy?are they happy now?you can't hate your mom or the new guy for your dads sake.he's a grown besides wife's don't cheat on perfect husbands.just because he's a good dad don;t make him a good husband.you love your mom right?stick it out .get a plan go to college,give the new guy a chance.you don't have to hate the boyfriend to love your dad,he'll find someone else to.

Answer 10

Go talk to your dad, he might be able to make room for you at his house. Another option is to stay with your grandparents, aunts or another relative. If none of that is possible, just remember youll be out on your own in a few years. As long as no one is abusing you, you can deal with some unhappiness till then. Sometimes problems seem bigger than they are. Stay in school and work hard so you can get college scholarships and get the heck away from them. Keep your chin up sweetie.